Jesus healed the leopards.

To be fair, spots _are_ involved in the process.

This thread is very disturbing to me. Yes, lectors make mistakes, but how many of us have played an entire mass or several masses in a row without making a mistake? Common folks.......instead of being critical, catechize our lectors and help them correct their mistakes instead of laughing at them here.

Thank you, Adam. Sharing our own mistakes and funny moments is one thing, and, believe me, I have stories to tell! I just do not like one ministry finding fault in another. In any case, God bless to all and good luck playing, directing, dealing with difficult singers, pastors, congregants, etc. I sometimes think God's greatest sense of humor comes with music ministry! Alleluia (pronounced Al-leh-loo-yah). :)

I laugh with the lectors, not at them, and they do the same with me. The only perfect performances I have heard were recordings where all the bloopers were taken out. I play 4 masses on Sunday, and my exhaustion really creeps in during the last mass. My choir is all volunteer, and the members have the normal range of ability found in most volunteer choirs. In my choir loft things are often thirty seconds away from disaster at any given moment.

In my younger days I played well enough as an organist, but I had no experience as an accompanist - playing and accompanying are not the same thing. Some years ago, a Baptist conductor persuaded a Presbyterian church to sing one of the stage-styled cantatas called "This Day of Celebration." He was blissfully humming parts of it and going on about how wonderful it was. However, the regular church organist was in the hospital having emergency bypass surgery - no, he didn't fake it to get out of playing that piece of melodrama. So Baptist conductor called me at the last minute and wanted me to play. I protested and didn't want the job, but he eventually wore me down. OK, so I accompanied for the rehearsal and for the performance on Sunday morning. There was a section in 6/8 time, which the men in the choir sang like the charge of the light brigade. I could not stay with them. The organ was an old Rodgers from the days when the presets could not be preset. Hand bells were included, and I mentally changed the name of the work to, "This Day of Aggravation." They paid me, and I came back for the evening service. After all the strain of Sunday morning, my mind went blank in the middle of an anthem and I lost my place. They sang the remainder of the anthem without accompaniment. I was really embarrassed - in fact, it was one of my most embarrassing moments. They didn't pay me for the evening service, so to this day I still have an unreturned Presbyterian hymnal. Fair exchange? Who knows. I never went back there and stopped substituting in non-liturgical churches.

At this year's Easter Vigil, I sat in the choir loft for about 15 seconds after the priest's final collect following the 7th reading and psalm, wondering why nobody was doing anything and why the priest was just standing around... then I remembered, "OH MY GOSH, I'm supposed to be starting the Gloria!" Dived into my choir bag, ripped the Gloria out of the notebook, pulled out a number of random loud stops, and started going. Whoops. I also have accidentally smacked my choir members with my baton on a number of occasions, since I sing soprano and have them gather round fairly close to me so we can hear each other better. Fortunately, they always laugh it off with good grace.

Had a similar moment when I forgot to ring the bells at the elevation once. It's the silence that always gets you!

"My Lord and my ... wait, who's ringing the bells toda...yep. ME."

OK here's one of my many embarrassing moments. I stand next to the organ while I am conducting the choir. One day I gave on overly dramatic gesture and knocked my organist's metronome off the top of the organ. It went flying right over railing of the loft and landed in the center aisle of the church, smashing into a million pieces. Luckily, it didn't hit anyone!

No, that pronunciation of our is *not* a mispronunciation. It's a 100% legitimate regionalism that actually has roots in regional usage in the British Isles. British RP is a 100% legitimate pronunciation, but as a pronunciation *standard* it is utterly irrelevant in the US (I will leave the many different opinions about it in the British Isles to the residents thereof). And you will be mocked mercilessly behind your back if you try to impose it here by offering such a pretext; that's a very American tradition. (Besides, at least in my experience, it seems there are many choral directors who if anything cultivate that pronunciation of our to avoid a diphthong that sours their singers' pitch.)

(Writing from very non-rhotic Boston here, where the thrifty Yankee Law of Conservation of Rs means they get saved and put to use elsewhere.)

Love Baaaston. Nice place.

British RP is a 100% legitimate pronunciation, but as a pronunciation *standard* it is utterly irrelevant in the US

I agree 1000%, but will make allowances for its use, particularly if the work being sung is in English and by an English composer. To apply it to an American composer's work is (at least sometimes) misguided.

Not a lector mistake per se, but all too common:

...and lead a snot into temptation...

Seriously asking here: Is this a mistake you have actually heard, or is it just sort of a comment on the fact that in fluent speech the end of one word will abut the next? If the latter, I suppose I've also heard "who are tin heaven, hallowed be thine aim."

I have heard children actually say this - it is what they hear the adults say, after all.

Yesterday: (Go Make of All Disciples) "Go Make of Us All Discipline, ahh, Discipline Us O Lord, ahh, Make of Us Discipline, ahhhh, Make Us All Disciples".

Adam Wood: always causing trouble.

Maybe I'm just easily entertained, but I think spoonerisms are hilarious.

Don't worry if the church is crowded; an usher will be happy to sew you to your sheet.

Indeed, our Lord is a shoving leopard.

This pie is occupued.

Also Haitian creole, no?

I knew I heard it in a song somewhere.

Couple of sites on the internet which provide pronunciation of words. Don't know if you will find those reliable, such as:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/jesu

It seems like it may be somewhat more accurate to say that "GEE-zoo" is one of several historical pronunciations, and that it has largely fallen out of favor in American English.

jee-ZOO is the only pronunciation I've ever heard U.S. Episcopalians use in the African hymn "Jesu, Jesu, fill us with your love." I believe U.K. people would say "jee-ZYOO." The accent in both cases is dictated by the musical rhythm in that hymn.

Also, on the rare occasions when the form "Jesu" is encountered, it's pronounced "JEE-zoo" or "JEE-zyoo." No need to jump suddenly from English into Latin pronunciation and say "YAY-zoo."

Adam,

It's no big deal. In my choir singing and conducting days (mid-1960's - early 1980's) it was always "Jee-zoo." Today if a conductor tries to get a choir to sing it that way, they think him or her mad.

Hopefully, you've learned that there is another pronunciation.

Just happy to do my little part in contributing to the continuing education of AW.

the continuing education of AW.

A never-ending project, to be sure.

In the intercessions this past Sunday we prayed for spiritual benefits of "daily resuscitation of the rosary." This was more entertaining than the usual mispronounced place names. (In Altoona, PA at the 8:00 AM mass at an undisclosed parish)

FWIW here in south-east England, I've always heard the pronunciation "Jee-zoo" (with the stress on the first syllable) in hymns like "Jesu, joy of man's desiring", "O Jesu Saviour of mankind" and "O Jesu, King most wonderful".

It's hard (for me) to imagine anyone singing it as Latin "Iesu".

I've only ever heard Iesu.