You shall not covet your neighbor's ace.

Liam, they were hot!

Lettuce, pray!

And lead a snot into temptation.

As for lector pronunciations, I'm particularly fond of teen-aged lectors, ever-so popular in suburban parishes that want to be "inclusive". Unfortunately, many teenagers suffer from a horridly lax sense of clarity in pronunciation.

Hence, we're told during the proclamation of the Passion Gospel, "What I have wri-hen, I have wri-hen" (with the hyphen representing a glottal stop in place of a proper "t").

Geezoo was standard in my Anglican Catholic days, and has a long pedigree (Consider that in the old days, Latin was usually pronounced like the vernacular.). As for children, they really aren't fair game here, since it's such a rich lode. One of my granddaughters, a little behind the others on learning the Hail Mary, said "The Lord is whiskey."

A priest, reading the Gospel of the Annunciation, read the angelic salutation as, "Greetings, flavored one!" The concelebrants clearly heard the slip, and broke out in a sweat trying to keep their composure.

I've also heard, "Lettuce spray."

But have you heard, "Let us bray."

2 stories come to mind for me...

The first was when they used to announce the hymns at my first parish. I was in high school playing a Saturday anticipatory Mass. The lector (we had no cantors - it was just organ and congregation) was in charge of reading the hymn. He said, "The closing hymn is number 561, 'There's a WILD-ness in God's Mercy'. Number 561. The next morning at the 7:45 a different lector introduced the hymn as 'There's a WILDER-ness in God's Mercy.'

The second was when I was a freshman in college seminary. We had a very southern sounding Kentucky-an reading the first reading for daily Mass; it was from the 3rd chapter (I believe) of Genesis. So with all his great southern drawl, he proclaims the words of God to Adam and Eve: "And who told you that you were NECK-ed?" He said it with this snappy, strongly and quickly emphasized first syllable. The rector, who was concelebrating, couldn't contain the up and down of his shoulders, visibly sweating and scrunching his face just so he wouldn't explode...

Here's a great link for Biblical pronunciation: http://netministries.org/Bbasics/bwords.htm

A reading from the letter of Paul to the Phillipians (pronounced Filipinos).

I have heard that one as well

I, too, have heard reference to "Anus" in the Passion narrative. I've also heard a cantor leave out a very important "r" in "prostrate." The lector was my father, the cantor my dear wife. Although I must cut her some slack; she is a physician's assistant, and probably had come to Mass straight from work.

This post reminds me of a lector from my childhood parish, of whom I am reminded every Easter Vigil. The poor lady had an extremely nasal voice, and unfortunately was scheduled every year for the Vigil, for whatever reason. "hnaroah and his hnariots and hnarioteers" always made me chuckle a little.

Don't forget eye-ZYE-ah.....

Here in the Boston area, it's Ah-men that dominates in Catholic Masses (though Ay-men is also heard).

Not the lector, but I remember the cantor singing the psalms one day and mixing up a couple of words. I can't remember exactly how it went, but it was something like "The Lord preserve us in sin."

Not the lector, but I remember the cantor singing the psalms one day and mixing up a couple of words. I can't remember exactly how it went, but it was something like "The Lord preserve us in sin."

I'm not usually one to criticize the new translation because of the many ways I feel it is superior to what we had before... but this made me think of the new translation of the Collect for Friday of the Fifth Week of Lent:

Pardon the offenses of your peoples, we pray, O Lord,
and in your goodness set us free
from the bonds of the sins
we have committed in our weakness.
Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, for ever and ever.

Jesu is pronounced JEE-zyoo in the UK. There's an African hymn in the Episcopal hymnal (1982): Jesu, Jesu, fill us with your love / Show us how to serve / the neighbors we have from you. I've always heard Jesu in this hymn pronounced jee-ZOO.

And everyone knows the Italian prophet Malacci. :)

I know what you mean, Thurifer, but if these words are in an English text, I don't mind so much, as there's an English way of saying these and other Hebrew words. Like IZ-rayl for Israel. Opinions differ, I know, but when it comes to Latin and Hebrew, I think an Englished pronunciation isn't necessarily wrong. What I tend to notice is when a lector uses English-style pronunciations of most things but then is suddenly meticulous with EES-rah-ayl. We say Jeremiah rather than Yer-em-ee-yah-hoo; why not Barabbas with a short a? You should hear UK pronunciations for things like Venite, Jubilate, and Benedicite. :)

A reading from the letter of Paul to the Collegians (Colossians)

(Read by a high school student in the spring, perhaps thinking about his future...)

Also not a mispronunciation - but one Good Friday, the lector was reading the narrative part of the Passion and said, "One of the slaves of the high priest, a relative of the man whose peter - (pause) ...whose ear Peter had cut off"

As several have noted above. Jesu, when appearing in English texts is universally made English (Anglicised) in Britain. It may be that one shouldn't consider it 'anglicised' at all since it is considered an English word. The same holds for many Episcopalian/Anglicans and Anglican Use Catholics in this country. When appearing in an English text it is an English word, not a Latin one; and pronouncing it otherwise always sounds somewhat silly, precious and pendantic.
(One should always sing 'Jeezoo joy of man's desiring...', etc.)

Another peeve of mine is those persons who aggresively say AYmen and pugnaciously assert that AHmen is 'Latin' and AYmen is 'English'. How did such a specious irrationality gain currencey amongst otherwise intelligent persons? Throughout my life I have associated AYmen with Pentecostalists, Baptists, and various other sects, and AHmen with real churches. AYmen is just what it sounds like: ignorant and mean.

Aha!

dohhhhhhhh-la-sol-dohhhh, miiiiiiiiiii-re-doh-miiiiiiii, sollllllllll-la-sol-fa-mi-re-dohhhhhh....................

rollingrj .... horrors if you should make a misteak!!

SJCBmusic -
Thanks for the challenge.
However, I shall stand by my utterances. It is thinkable that your Attwater is not definitive. It may or may not congrue with the OED. But that's neither here nor there.
As a young Episcopalian I never heard naught but Ahmen... except when we were around Baptists, Pentecostals, and such who said many strange things in strange accents, one of which was 'Aymen' (actually, more like 'aymin' or 'aymeeun'. Such provenance did not commend this to me as legitimate or literate usage. Imagine my shock and perplexion (and, dismay) when I encountered this same unlearned pronunciation amongst large number of seemingly literate Roman Catholics. Why do they do this when they MUST know better. No, I shall continue to think of Ahmen as literate, standard English, and of everything else as hickey... because it is.

And now let us look at the Gentiles, read as...

And now let us look at the genitals.

The lector in this case was my sister, and the entire congregation almost wet themselves trying not to laugh out loud. The poor girl turned red as a beet. Fortunately the priest was VERY compassionate about it afterwards and encouraged her to laugh about it as well.