When the joy is gone
  • monahartselle
    Posts: 2
    After nearly 50 years of church musicianship, paid and volunteer, I left music ministry at my parish. I was not director or accompanist at this point, but a cantor. The volunteer environment had become toxic, and despite reducing my role in the ministry and communicating with both the director and the pastor, I could not resolve the stress I was feeling. So for the first time in a long time, I am singing in the pews and finding myself very conspicuous indeed. I care very much about sacred music still and sing during mass. I am wondering if anyone in this forum has experienced anything like this and how you handled it.
    Thanked by 1Verbum_Gloriae
  • NoahLovinsNoahLovins
    Posts: 7
    More or less. I had been a cantor in our schola for 5 and half years, before I was dating my wife. During that time, I had learned so much, and watched the schola evolve and grow into a great brotherhood. I even began teaching private students how to chant. But also during that time, I got married and had a bunch of kids. My options were either go with them to the Low Mass (where they will grow up thinking a Mass with no singing is the default, not what I want for them), or have them come to the high Mass but only let my wife keep track of the while I go sing. Neither option was ideal, so I ultimately left our schola to be in the pews with my wife and kids during the liturgy.
    Thanked by 1Verbum_Gloriae
  • irishtenoririshtenor
    Posts: 1,432
    I only occasionally participate in the sacred music at our parish now. I used to direct choir, play organ, cantor, etc. Now with a pew full of children, my wife needs my support on a weekly basis. I'll be back in the choir loft eventually, but now this is all I can do. If they are really hard up for an organist or cantor, I'll do it, but not at the Mass my family and I regularly attend.
    Thanked by 1Verbum_Gloriae
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