Walking the Baby and the Diddly Music
  • DrJS
    Posts: 15
    Hi all,
    At my parish, following baptisms for infants and young children, our priest takes the child in his arms (or holds the young child by the hand), and walks him or her around the church. While he does so, he commands me to plays what he calls “diddly music.” One time he actually said in front of the whole church at this point, “[my name] will now play some diddly music.”
    This past weekend, he even had specific requests for the diddly music. There were two children baptized: the first was walked around the room to “Away in a Manger” and the second to “O Come, Little Children.”
    This is for baptisms that take place during Mass, after the homily and before the offering.
    I think this is treacle, but this is my first job in a Catholic parish. I would like to know whether this custom is:
    A) Perfectly normal for Catholics (if so, shame on all y’all)
    B) Licit (albeit tacky) but unique to this priest
    C) Illicit
    Thanked by 1ServiamScores
  • irishtenoririshtenor
    Posts: 1,411
    This particular situation seems like it's tacky. Once the baptism is completed, there is no call for the priest to "parade" the child around the church so everyone can see them. For more legitimate processions, I would ordinarily provide some "walking music" or "processional music"
    Thanked by 4DrJS MatthewRoth Abbysmum LauraKaz
  • TCJ
    Posts: 1,040
    I would be looking for a new job because that is an indicator of more crazy things to come.
    Thanked by 4MatthewRoth LauraKaz davido francis
  • Liam
    Posts: 5,503
    I think it's B but priests commanding control of children like that...is a decidedly creepy look for other reasons.
    Thanked by 5MatthewRoth Abbysmum LauraKaz PaxMelodious CHGiffen
  • MatthewRoth
    Posts: 3,282
    the priest needs to be told that the name is inappropriate and that he needs to stop walking the kid around like this.
    Thanked by 2Chant_Supremacist AndrewP
  • tandrews
    Posts: 214
    Sorry, in the wake of abuse scandals and celebrity trials, the priest has to find a better descriptor to use than "diddly" music when walking around church with a kid.
    Thanked by 6canadash LauraKaz CHGiffen Abbysmum Chant_Supremacist AndrewP
  • canadashcanadash
    Posts: 1,548
    Seriously. This is absolutely ridiculous. Our organist would just stare (not reply) at the priest and not do it. Though, I'm pretty sure it falls under the B category. I'm so sorry.
    Thanked by 2Chant_Supremacist ServiamScores
  • TCJ
    Posts: 1,040
    Our organist would just stare (not reply) at the priest and not do it.


    I wouldn't do it either. Make the priest look awkward and maybe he'll stop.
  • Andrew_Malton
    Posts: 1,237
    C. If liceity is really a thing in the Novus rite, then adding a solo procession of the newly baptised is illicit, IGMR 34.
    Thanked by 2Chant_Supremacist canadash
  • SponsaChristi
    Posts: 628
    It’s illicit and serious weirdness factor. I have never seen this done before, and I’ve attended baptisms in some pretty weird and out there parishes.

    If you must play something, you could passive aggressively improvise on the Jeopardy Theme. I once heard of an organist who drowned out the bishop of his or her diocese at a confirmation mass when the bishop started singing and playing This Little Light of Mine on his ukulele.
    Thanked by 3LauraKaz Abbysmum Chant_Supremacist
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 12,048
    That's the silliest thing I have heard yet. You could play "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy," a genuine show stopper.
    Thanked by 1canadash
  • tandrews
    Posts: 214
    If you absolutely must do this for your job, Baptized in Water (Bunessan) is probably right up his alley. Treat it like a sprinkling rite I guess.
    Thanked by 2DrJS ServiamScores
  • DrJS
    Posts: 15
    I am relieved that this is not a standard part of Catholic culture, and that your reactions match mine. Our electric organ has a theatre organ suite that seems appropriate to this sort of moment...
  • Liam
    Posts: 5,503
    Toccata in d would be ... diddly.

    Or an organ transcription of Night on Bald Mountain:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFE3AejoHmc

    Or from the final movement of Symphonie fantastique:

    https://youtu.be/UGQBdiuFy_0?t=184

    . . . all of these choices would energize the moment with . . . vim and vigor.

    (Channeling a "Are you HIGH, Clairee?!" energy from Steel Magnolias...)

    * * *

    For a different flavor of diddly, though of course on piano ... Satie's Gymnopédie No. 1.


    #BeCarefulWhatYouAsk4
    Thanked by 4CharlesW DrJS Abbysmum canadash
  • chonakchonak
    Posts: 9,109
    "Baby Elephant Walk" would be very diddly:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1z4JfxFb6c
    Thanked by 5CHGiffen davido francis CharlesW canadash
  • RoborgelmeisterRoborgelmeister
    Posts: 328
    I had a priest who said, I may need you to diddle around, and I said, why don't you just stammer something. Was never asked again.
    ps kept my job there
    Thanked by 9CHGiffen Anna_Bendiksen Abbysmum Chant_Supremacist Liam chonak francis canadash ServiamScores
  • francis
    Posts: 11,210
    Anybody that wants “diddle” music isn’t worthy of the position except for the fact that he’s a priest (he has no idea about the “title” (adorned position) that he holds. I would still kiss his hand, but I would ignore his Music wishes… I would suffer being homeless to convince him.
  • hilluminar
    Posts: 124
    Where is this priest from? Was he originally from another Rite? In the Maronite Rite, after the baby is baptised, the priest carries the baby around the church. This is to let the baby know that this is his new home. He is now a part of the Church. I think that this is a beautiful custom, when done for the right reason. The people then sing a reverent and beautiful hymn to the Blessed Virgin Mary, who is a type and figure of the Church.
    Thanked by 9CHGiffen PaxMelodious francis davido CharlesW Abbysmum a_f_hawkins canadash Anna_Bendiksen
  • TLMlover
    Posts: 77
    Why don't you play and sing Vidi Aquam, or I Saw Water Flowing (Ostrowski has a nice accompaniment) or Asperges Me?

    The Maronite custom sounds beautiful. Of course, the people have a proper hymn to sing and know what's going on and the significance behind walking with the child. I think that makes all the difference.
    Thanked by 4Liam canadash CHGiffen DrJS
  • matthewjmatthewj
    Posts: 2,679
    He probably just heard the term at some point and it stuck in his head. I’d just have a reasonable conversation about how it’s probably a disrespectful term and you’re glad to cover liturgical action when allowed by the documents, but let’s leave that term out. We (hopefully) wouldn’t ever refer to a sermon or homily as “that rambling after the Gospel”.
  • tandrews
    Posts: 214
    We (hopefully) wouldn’t ever refer to a sermon or homily as “that rambling after the Gospel”.


    Tom Lehrer's Vatican Rag comes to mind lol
    Thanked by 4Roborgelmeister CHGiffen CharlesW DavidOLGC
  • Liam
    Posts: 5,503
    "...liturgical action when allowed by the documents,"


    The action in question here is not a liturgical action, as it's neither part of the ritual nor of the Mass properly speaking. It's an extra-liturgical insertion between them.
    Thanked by 1ServiamScores
  • DavidOLGCDavidOLGC
    Posts: 121
    I was wondering if this would lead to the music of Bo Diddly....just kidding, but I don't see where this practice has any merit.
    Thanked by 2CharlesW CHGiffen
  • Richard MixRichard Mix
    Posts: 2,924
    A solemn diddly-processional is a tall order, but thanks to my current reading (Alex Ross' Wagnerism) I believe I can point you to exactly what is needed.
    Thanked by 2WGS DavidOLGC
  • DrJS
    Posts: 15
    I will try to have a reasonable conversation with him about this. He's an emotionally immature person, so I have to be careful how I express disagreement. He's not from another Rite, this is just something he made up.
    Thanked by 1ServiamScores
  • ServiamScores
    Posts: 3,195
    I would think that having the entire church face the font and witness the whole baptism (they are held hostage, after all) is certainly enough visibility.

    Perhaps you could suggest singing the Doxology to Old Hundredth just once. No parade, but the parish could rejoice and praise God for the salvation of a soul. Then he gets a special moment and you avoid complete and utter weirdness. Alternatively, you could have a special "baptismal alleluia". Something short and sweet to acknowledge the otherwise quasi-private moment by the congregation. We have a custom of singing a short alleluia after each baptism at the Easter Vigil.
    Thanked by 1DrJS
  • ServiamScores
    Posts: 3,195
    This very short intro and quick Alleluia (assuming it's not Lent) wouldn't be terrible. (You could obviously substitute another verse that is more appropriate; this is just the score I had quick at hand.)
    Eastertide Alleluia • Thanksgiving Mass for Leo XIV (Monday of Easter V C) • Full score.pdf
    54K
  • DrJS
    Posts: 15
    Thanks for the short Alleluia. With this and the other serious suggestions on this thread, I at least have a toolbox of better ideas to gently suggest.
    Thanked by 1ServiamScores
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