I don’t think I will ever hear that fugue again in the same way

I was in a studio class where we had a timid/quiet/retiring female colleague. Our professor was trying to get her to play with more intensity/energy and he tried to pin her on a strong emotion based on some thought. What was something that upset her, for instance? She whispered something to him, and then he told her to play the St. Anne fugue. When she got 2/3 of the way in and a counter melody comes in, in an effort to get her to really dig in, he starts boisterously singing "You rot-ten pig! O O O O You rot-ten pig!" We were all chuckling, as it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what she was supposed to be mad about. She did play with more verve, though. We all got a good laugh out of it (my colleague included) but now I cannot hear the St. Anne without thinking about that day.

There was a woman who went to her priest and asked "Father, my dog just died, can we have a Mass for my dog?"
"Madame, you should know, we only have masses for people, not dogs"
"But Father, I was going to give $25,000.00 to the church!
"Well Madame, you didn't tell me your dog was Catholic!

(True story)
As an undergraduate I was invited to some recitals at the Conservatory which shared a campus. I had heard of various kinds of duets, but one particularly odd one (which I couldn't attend, in the end) was for "piano and prepared soprano", if I recall correctly. One of you Conservatory types can explain what "prepared" means in this case.

A former pastor, who is now a bishop of another diocese, once told me of a wedding of which he was the celebrant. The couple had hired a local nightclub singer as the soloist. She came wearing an evening gown with a lot of glitter and bling, lots of makeup, big earrings, etc. When she sang "I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have called you, and you are mine" (by M. Joncas), she did so in nightclub manner, making eye contact with people in the congregation.

Father (now Bishop) didn't say this, but I can't help but imagining that she sang it with a low-pitched, breathy, sultry voice.

This is a true story.

A very good friend of mine who was a priest told me this one.

He had a newly married couple come to him one day as they were struggling with scruples. They proceeded to ask Father if it was OK to have sex before going to communion (scruples of the newly married we suppose). Without missing a beat Father told them, “Sure. Just don’t block the center aisle”

back in the day, there were confessors in the Roman church whose guideline for marital continence was 3 days before AND 3 days after (Wednesday evening must have been fun times for the rare people who aspired to frequent communion).

Liam, Wednesday evening is fun indeed! It’s choir rehearsal night.

tnx Liam... and now back to lightness?

"tnx Liam... and now back to lightness?"

Maybe there's a cultural reason rooted in the mists of the distant past why Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti Day*:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8ti1hnLiLw

* Mama Martignetti to her new daughter-in-law: "Now, a word of advice: You make spaghetti on Wednesdays, it's an easy meal, so you have more time to please your husband after dinner; your children will be sleepier earlier. This is how we do things." Of course, for the longest time, Monday would have seen the simplest meals of the week because it was the major laundry day of the week and food was Sunday leftovers (if any), but no sane person would expect someone who spent the day doing laundry to be up for much of anything after so doing.

"piano and prepared soprano", if I recall correctly

Assuming this was actually for soprano and 'prepared piano'.

No, Mark. Sadly, it wasn't.

If I can find a time machine, and regress 35 years, I'll get you the name of the recital candidate and the piece performed.

I am just blitzed from making up lists and schedules...... Just took a last look at the order of events for the choir, for the Christmas Day Mass, and a good thing I did

"Angela We Have Heard on High" ?!

So Christmassy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thNGULU4OK4

here

I knew a tenor who could sing every aria known to man but couldn't sing simple four-part hymnody.

has a case of melodycholy... Mozart also suffered with that malady.

conservatory

prepared organ


https://youtu.be/OihbIgXBsMU

'Twas a Sunday morning at the Sunday Meet'n House deep in the back woods.
The sermon this day was all about sin.
'There is too much sin going on here' screeched the reverend - 'too much gossip, adultery, jealousy, and thievery - and cussin. Those responsible must change their ways, for when the Lord comes there will be weeping, whaling, and gnashing of teeth over their punishments.'

The service was over and a wrinkled old woman (I guess it could just as well be a wrinkled old man) hobbled up to the reverend and asked him with nervous trepidation, 'but reverend, what if ye ain't got no teeth'? And the reverend smoothly replied that 'teeth will be provided'.

The whaling will be mostly done by the Japanese?

(Sing to "My Favorite Things":)

Chocolate truffles and shakes made of shamrocks,
Seasonal coffees sold only at Starbucks,
Steak on a Wednesday and snacks that content:
These are the foods that we give up for Lent;

Snarky exchanges on Facebook and Twitter,
Emails to colleagues that came out too bitter,
Gossip and slander and calling to vent:
This is the language we look at in Lent;

Judging, begrudging, and acting like Gollum---
Sins only sicken, whatever you call 'em;
Time for the annual call to repent:
This is the life that we lay down in Lent:

Rend your hearts, and
Not your garments,
So the prophet said---
So get to confession,
Be shriven of sin,
Before your own heaaaaaaart
Is dead!

Almsgiving, fasting, and praying for others,
Thanking our fathers, obeying our mothers,
Kindness to voters of opposite bent,
This is the life that we take on in Lent;

Walking in nature and reading Augustine,
Silent reflection and civil discussion,
Helping a neighbor who can't pay the rent:
This is the life that God gives us in Lent;

Caring for prisoners, widows, and orphans,
Workouts at daybreak to boost the endorphins,
Bearing with ev'rything Heaven has sent,
This is the cross that we take up in Lent;

Forty days our
Savior fasted,
Facing Satan's sway;
The angels are with us,
Let's start down the road
To glorious Eeeeeeeeeeaaa-
-Ster Daaaayyyyyyy!

Thanks, Anna! That's hilarious!

On the Lenten theme, a saint (Josemaria Escriva?) advises: Choose a form of penance that won't be a penance for others.

Which I take to mean I shouldn't give up my morning coffee. :-)