In my wildest dreams, I'd want the Duruflé Requiem.
I'd "settle" (if one can call it that) for something similar to Benedict XVI's funeral - Gregorian chant & Palestrina's Sicut cervus.
If there's room to add a couple "favorite" hymns: O God beyond All Praising and/or Crown Him with Many Crowns

I always say (with tongue half in cheek) that I want Spem at the offertory at my funeral.
(The text is quite appropriate.)

Otherwise, Croft's Burial Sentences at the procession,
Palestrina's Sicut cervus at the offertory
Tallis's Verily, verily at the communions.
Lauda Anima for a recessional

For opening voluntaries (for organ) Bach's great A-minor prelude
followed by an English renaissance voluntary by Thomas Tomkins.

For closing voluntary - Bach's Heut trumphiret from the Orgelbuchlein

The propers and ordinary in plainchant as adapted into English by Canon Winfred Douglas.

God of Mercy and Compassion.

I cannot state in strong enough terms how much I hope to have "I heard the voice of Jesus say" set to Tallis' Third Mode Melody, sung SATB a cappella.

This is presuming, of course, that I cannot have a traditional requiem mass with full chanted propers.

Very few people will have effective control over what is sung at their funeral. Generally, it will be a weekday within a week to 10 days after death (unless there is to be a funeral with cremated remains), and there will only be a cantor and an instrumentalist of some sort, who might be one and the same person. Memorial masses, however, offer more practical possibilities.

For my late father's funeral seven years ago, I did ask that the Tallis IHTVOJS be sung by the cantor to the THIRD MODE MELODY at Communion, and my request was granted (I supplied the music). THIRD MODE MELODY is much more plaintively apt for a funeral than the more sprightly KINGSFOLD. (My father had lived into his 90s, and our mother and his life's friends predeceased him, the huge church just contained a small family of mourners outnumbered by parish staff who use funeral Masses as their daily Mass. One thing I will say: traditional hymnody sounds a LOT better in that context than contemporary idiom songs that would sound pathetic for lack of numbers - and that is a practical ground on which musicians can offer guidance to mourners and clerical staff.)

Low Mass, entirely spoken.

Solemn High Mass.
I haven't really thought about motets or such for the requiem, because I'm only halfway through my 50s, and my dad died just short of his 93rd birthday and 6-months short of his 60th wedding anniversary. Mom is still going strong.

It gives me great pause that this thread was posted yesterday since this very morning on Candlemass during the Holy Hour after Mass, I read this verse for the first time and said to myself, "this should be sung at my Requiem Mass". Then just now I saw this post.

When, therefore, O sweetest Jesus,
my weary and downcast eyes
can no longer look up to Thee,
be mindful of the loving gaze
which I now turn on Thee,
and have mercy on me.

When my parched lips
can no longer kiss Thy most sacred wounds,
remember then those kisses which now I imprint on Thee,
and have mercy on me.

When my cold hands
can no longer embrace Thy Cross,
forget not the affection with which I embrace it now,
and have mercy on me.

And when, at length,
my swollen and lifeless tongue
can no longer speak,
remember that I called upon Thee now.

Jesus, Mary, Joseph,
to Thee I commend my soul.
Amen.

GC Requiem Chant, using movements from a very simple Requiem that I composed for SATB. (hope to post a sample soon)

If I could find a musical version of "I spent it all and none of you are getting a dime" I would like that.

@tandrews

We were all being afraid somebody was going to say that

Can't believe no one has picked Be Not Afraid yet!

That and Eagle's Wings, How Great Thou Art, and Amazing Grace were requested at nearly every funeral I played.

While they are not my preferred metier/idiom and would not "work" for all funerals (see my earlier comment for an example of a context where they would have sounded pitiful), Be Not Afraid and Eagle's Wings are significantly better than many other things people might insist on (which is more a comment on those other things). And Amazing Grace is arguably the definitive hymn of the English-speaking peoples* and is way better than those other things. How Great Thou Art makes me wary of hearing mighty vocal tremolos (more fierce than mere vibrato), but that's my personal taste association.

* I will put a plug in for two perhaps counterintuitive options:

1. The Magnificat in some direct or paraphrased form. It is, to my mind, the definitive and model canticle of the Christian disciple, and appropriate to sing upon the completion of such discipleship. (I am apparently not alone in speculating that it is what Our Lady sings in Heaven.)

2. What is arguably the definitive anthem of Catholic English and German speaking peoples would make a wonderful closing hymn of praise at any Catholic funeral to thank God for the gift of life and redemption: Holy God We Praise Thy Name. [Just be conscious of the melodic version you use.]

I thought Melofluent would have to do that now from the Hereafter, as it were....

I want a Sung Requiem Mass with all the sung chant propers. I also want them to sing In Paradisum and that other Canticle that’s in the PBC in the requiem section for graveside music.

"Things like “Now the labourer’s toils are o’er” and “O lord to whom the spirits live” in the English Hymnal?"

And ... then expect a motley congregation from divers parts to feel game enough to sight-sing them cold? I would venture that's expecting more than is typical for American Catholics, who are not Lutherans, Methodists or Episcopalians in that regard. Good luck with that.

Chants are lovely, but they sound rather odd being sung by a single cantor, which I would safely venture is the typical resource available for most funeral Masses in the USA. (As I alluded earlier, memorial Masses - being plannable further in advance - have more practical potential for more resources if they can be cobbled together.)

Funeral is going to be easy - Latin Requiem. My wake is a different story, as I’ve said before: snicker all you want, but I want to have Sir Arthur Sullivan’s “The Lost Chord”. I’d like it sung by Incardination, and played by NihilNominis.

It would be worth playing it just to see Incardination trying to keep a straight face through it...

Requiem High Mass no frills for me (tasteful polyphony chosen as appropriate), but almost certainly want "Lord, Thee I Love with All My Heart" sung at some appropriate time before or after the Mass. All three verses in full. Winkworth translation with historic pronouns.

Now I've heard everything LOL.

It would be a great improvement over 90% of the music heard at U.S. Catholic funerals.

In fairness, Charles, this isn't exactly a 3 minute mile.

Just the chant. I have made my living specifically as an organist; my friends and family have heard more than enough organ music just by being related to me. I have greatly enjoyed playing and singing hymns, but none are as good as the chant. So all I want is the propers and ordinary chanted in their entirety, appending psalm verses at communion as needed. Something simple and beautiful, and a real chance for my loved ones to pray for my soul, instead of sitting and wondering why I liked this hymn and that anthem and that postlude.

a real chance for my loved ones to pray for my soul, instead of sitting and wondering why I liked this hymn and that anthem and that postlude.

Yes, the funeral Mass is (or should be) about praying for the soul of the deceased. (I know I'll need all the prayers I can get!)

It's difficult for me to understand all the personal choices for a funeral Mass - as if the Mass is a celebration of the person's life? - when the Church has already chosen some of the most beautiful texts and chants in the repertory to guide us in prayer.