Funny typos you've seen/made in worship aids
  • Richard MixRichard Mix
    Posts: 2,767
    I'm pretty sure eft was riffing on "missalette".
    Thanked by 2Adam Wood eft94530
  • Protasius
    Posts: 468
    A particular typo that stuck in my memory: "Anus Dei"
    Thanked by 2Vilyanor Casavant Organist
  • Scott_WScott_W
    Posts: 468
    Not a typo or really a worship aid, but at my former parish, there was a program called "Good News for Children" that met every Sunday except major holidays. So a week before the bulletin read, "There will be no Good News on Easter."
    Thanked by 5Reval SarahJ JL Casavant Organist bhcordova
  • rich_enough
    Posts: 1,031
    Cannon in D - Pachelbel
    Thanked by 2SarahJ Casavant Organist
  • SarahJ
    Posts: 54
    Not a misprint, but a someone misspoke "The Holy Bloody Body"!
    Eeeek!
  • eft94530eft94530
    Posts: 1,577
    Holy Spirit help me with my writing and speaking.
    Amen.
  • OrganistRob320OrganistRob320
    Posts: 156
    Veni Creator Spititus
    Thanked by 2eft94530 Casavant Organist
  • JonLaird
    Posts: 242
    Caught my own before it went to print:
    "Sin, choirs of angels, sin in exultation..."
    Thanked by 6EMH CHGiffen chonak Casavant Organist tsoapm ClergetKubisz
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,365
    ...sin in exultation...

    It was Luther, I believe, who said 'sin boldly'.
  • bkenney27bkenney27
    Posts: 444
    Entrance of the Bride:
    Kanon in D

    Thanked by 2Casavant Organist Ben
  • Casavant Organist
    Posts: 800
    From tonights Red Mass:

    Gospel
    Proclaimed by Rev. Mr. [Deacon's Name]

    Cantique de Jean Racine, Faure
    (translation)
    Congregation: Amen
  • chonakchonak
    Posts: 9,157
    'Forgive us our sings'
    Thanked by 3Casavant Organist mmeladirectress Jes
  • SalieriSalieri
    Posts: 3,177
    I just caught this one in this year's Christmas Vigil draft. (I keep using the same template, which means that this has been there for the past umpteen years without being caught.)

    Pleni sung caeli et terra, gloria tua.
    Thanked by 1Casavant Organist
  • Daniel Bennett PageDaniel Bennett Page
    Posts: 833
    That salierious!
    Thanked by 1CHGiffen
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 11,933
    Five people proofread the program for Midnight Mass one year. No one caught, "Hark the Herald ANGLES Sing."
  • Steve CollinsSteve Collins
    Posts: 1,021
    Our "worship aids" are called by what they actually are - ledger size paper folded in thirds (either C or Z). We simply call them "tri-folds".
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,365
    My seemingly congenital typo during Christmastide is 'nagles',
    as in 'Hark! The Herald Nagles Sing',
    or 'Nagles We Have Heard on High'.
    It has gone undetected into more that one service folder.
    Thanked by 4Adam Wood CHGiffen Jes CatherineS
  • SalieriSalieri
    Posts: 3,177
    I've seen plenty of "Hark! the Harold Angels Sing" over the years.

    I also remember singing a concert with a local Community Chorus, the title of the program was "Bach to Gospel"; the local newspapers 'corrected' this in notices to "Back to Gospel".
    Thanked by 1Casavant Organist
  • Chris Garton-Zavesky
    Posts: 6,902
    "Arrest the Gerry Mentalmen, let nothing ye delay"?
    Thanked by 1Casavant Organist
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,365
    Oh, come now, Chris!
    You just made that up.
  • Chris Garton-Zavesky
    Posts: 6,902
    Yes, Jackson, I did. Evidently, around here, some people can tell the difference between a real blooper and a fake one. (smile)
    Thanked by 1M. Jackson Osborn
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,365
    Still, Chris, it's sort of clever.
    Too bad, though - I can spot a simulacrum a mile away, even a blooper simulacrum.
  • ClergetKubiszClergetKubisz
    Posts: 1,912
    How many simulacrums does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows the real answer.
    Thanked by 2CharlesW cesarfranck
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,365
    I should suppose, Clerget, that that would depend on their AI since a simulacrum, or several simulacra, changing a light bulb, would, presumably, be a human simulacrum, otherwise known as a robot.

    (Why just think of it, the moment reasonably convincing human simulacra appear there will be those who boast that they are just like the 'real thing' and 'you can't tell'. Hmm. Sound familiar? Will we reach the point at which human simulacra will with hubristic technological pride be referred to in all seriousness as 'digital humans' and be thought to be equal to the real ones? Sound familiar? Why, these 'digital humans' would be just the thing for those who can't afford a real breathing human. Sound familiar?)

    And, how is all this relevant to the topic of this thread??? Well, it's about typos, isn't it. And simulacra are grotesque typos (even if deliberate ones) of a sort.

    Now, back to plain old typos....
  • mmeladirectress
    Posts: 1,075
    >> Veni Creator Spititus

    apparently typed by someone with "If Ye Love Me" running through his head.
    Thanked by 5M. Jackson Osborn Richard Mix Spriggo cesarfranck Claire H
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 11,933
    (Why just think of it, the moment reasonably convincing human simulacra appear there will be those who boast that they are just like the 'real thing' and 'you can't tell'.


    Anyone remember "The Stepford Wives?" They looked just like the real thing, and were much easier to get along with. LOL.
    Thanked by 3M. Jackson Osborn bhcordova cesarfranck
  • Elmar
    Posts: 500
    Source of the text of some hymn (in red, to be sure): "ASK JOHN!!!"
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,365
    Antoher typo that seems irritatingly de rigeuer for my fingers is 'atniphon'. You will, upon due relfection, realise that an 'atniphon' is that which is sung by everyone in atniphonal singing.. Such 'atniphons' have slipped by and been featured glaringly in numerous service folders.

    (And let me not fail to put in another admonition here that an atniphon and a reposnery are not the same thing and are not interchangeable signifers.)
    Thanked by 2cesarfranck mmeladirectress
  • SalieriSalieri
    Posts: 3,177
    Antoher typo

    Was this on purpose?

    I don't sing atniphons, I usually sing anitphons. And my choir has been known to sing decsants. I have also found Ykrie many times when proofing service books. I also seem to have great difficulty with the word 'your'; either I omit the wye (about 46% of the time), or I omit the ar (about 48% of the time). I also seem to have difficulty typing 'of', it usually comes out 'pf' -- in fact, I had to correct this error twice in this post.
    Thanked by 2Jes cesarfranck
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 11,933
    For some reason, when I type "the" it can come out as "they." I just chalk it up to the evil gods of Microsoft acting up again.
    Thanked by 1cesarfranck
  • Casavant Organist
    Posts: 800
    In print, for Closing Ceremonies Mass tonight...
    "Motet sung by Graduating Choristers
    Jesu, dulcis memoria, from Sechs Hymen"
    Thanked by 1cesarfranck
  • rschi123
    Posts: 13
    I accidentally consecrated the area Dean at our patronal feast day Mass last week: failed to spot one of the mentions of the celebrant when updating the booklet from last year's Mass, which was celebrated by the Bishop. Oops.
    The Dean didn't mind the promotion too much!
    Thanked by 1cesarfranck
  • JesJes
    Posts: 574
    "The salivation of the LORD"
    Must have been really hungry that day!
    Thanked by 1cesarfranck
  • cesarfranck
    Posts: 158
    Prayerlude. Also, off topic but funny, I received a text for a funeral at the local funeral home where I am staff organist. The funeral home director requested that I ovulate to a higher key on last verse of "Anazing grace." Autocorrect had changed his intended modulate to ovulate.
    Thanked by 3Liam CHGiffen Claire H
  • Randolph Nichols
    Posts: 398
    My all-time favorite: The secretary at the Methodist church where I was working was missing the offertory hymn for the upcoming Sunday and phoned me at home for the title. The program that Sunday listed "There Is A Bomb In Gilead." Actually, it was appropriate for the time.
    Thanked by 7Liam CHGiffen cesarfranck M. Jackson Osborn mmeladirectress Claire H toddevoss
  • Gina
    Posts: 12
    Similar to "no Good News on Easter" above. There will be no Faith Formation on Wednesday night.
    Thanked by 2CHGiffen cesarfranck
  • tandrews
    Posts: 157
    From the offertory for Lent I. Printed in a worship aid at ND about 8 years ago. ...et sub penis eius...

    Still hoping for an Angus Dei.
  • eft94530eft94530
    Posts: 1,577
    Lent-2-C First Reading
    Spoken at the Sat 5 pm vigil
    [...]
    He answered him,
    "Bring me a three-year
    old heifer,
    a three-year-old
    she-goat,
    a three-year
    old ram,
    a turtledove,
    and a young pigeon."
    [...]

    For the rest of that Mass and the Sun 0800 Mass and the Sun 1100 Mass
    the devil was taunting me with memories of
    https://archive.org/details/Otrr_The_Great_Gildersleeve_Singles/The_Great_Gildersleeve_42-06-14_042_Gildy_Produces_a_Play.mp3
  • Liam
    Posts: 4,941
    I miss the days before the 1998 Lectionary revision when the fire-pot (what?!) was "a flaming brazier".

    Now that was something to look forward to hearing. As my college roommate remarked almost 40 years ago, "It was women's lib day in Heaven".
    Thanked by 3CharlesW Carol StimsonInRehab
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 11,933
    I remember that flaming brassiere and also Anus, the high priest.
    Thanked by 1StimsonInRehab
  • vansensei
    Posts: 215
    I saw on FB once that instead of "No Hay Dios Tan Grande Como Tú" (No God Greater Than You), it cut off and read No Hay Dios.

    If you know Spanish...
    Thanked by 1janetgorbitz
  • CHGiffenCHGiffen
    Posts: 5,148
    "Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones."
    Thanked by 9Incardination Carol 32ContraBombarde youngcatholicgirl mmeladirectress Casavant Organist Jes CatherineS bhcordova
  • Don9of11Don9of11
    Posts: 684
    I've kept these since they appeared in our bulletin many years ago. Bulletin bloopers.

    1. Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
    2. Thursday night - Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
    3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
    4. For those who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
    5. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
    6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
    7. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.
    8. Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
    9. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

    Thanked by 6youngcatholicgirl mmeladirectress CHGiffen Incardination bhcordova ServiamScores
  • ViolaViola
    Posts: 390
    The hand of the Lord has not triumphed
    Thanked by 2CHGiffen Casavant Organist
  • CHGiffenCHGiffen
    Posts: 5,148
    10. Reminder: The Lenten Fasting & Prayer Conference this weekend includes meals.
    11. Next Thursday from 6:00 to 6:45 PM there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
    12. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM .. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
    13. The Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
    14. Ladies, don't forget the annual spring rummage sale next weekend. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
    Thanked by 7mmeladirectress Incardination Carol Jes trowland87 ghmus7 tomjaw
  • Richard MixRichard Mix
    Posts: 2,767
    Not a typo and the charitable thing would be to blame my ears, but I'm still not able to forget today and "…your brother was lost but now has come to light again."
    Thanked by 1CHGiffen
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,365
    Not exactly a 'typo' in a service folder, but a questionable sentence in my most recent recital program notes -
    'He was succeeded by Dietrich Buxtehude, who married his daughter'.
    Does this sentence need to be recast?
  • ViolaViola
    Posts: 390
    tandrews: We did get an Angus Dei!
    (this is in Scotland.)
    Thanked by 3M. Jackson Osborn tandrews cesarfranck
  • trowland87
    Posts: 12
    In a baptism booklet:

    "V. Do you believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was born into this world and who suffered?

    R. I do believe

    V. Do you believe also in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body and life everlasting?

    R. I do renounce them."
    Thanked by 1ServiamScores
  • nun_34nun_34
    Posts: 66
    Spoken at the Divine Office (Terce, 5th Sunday of Lent):
    "... have not been called to immortality but to holiness".
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