Funny typos you've seen/made in worship aids
  • eft94530eft94530
    Posts: 1,577
    Morning Offering final phrases:

    "and in particular for the intentions of our Holy Father for this month."

    Neice age 6: Why is he the Holy Father for this month?
    Thanked by 5Incardination CHGiffen youngcatholicgirl Carol ghmus7
  • a_f_hawkins
    Posts: 3,471
    This week we offer prayers for all who volunteer in our community. Particularly those who drive the elderly from their homes.
    Thanked by 6CatherineS tomjaw Carol ghmus7 ServiamScores SrEleanor
  • matthewjmatthewj
    Posts: 2,700
    There was a time when we listed the birth and death dates of composers. Caesar Franck for some reason got a misprint that made him live for like 200+ years. I bet you never even knew he was a vampire.
  • Chris Garton-Zavesky
    Posts: 6,902
    Jackson,

    Correct the sentence thusly:


    His daughter married Dietrich Buxtehude, who succeeded him.
  • Richard MixRichard Mix
    Posts: 2,799
    Caesar Franck… a vampire.
    The name changes (NG has Melchior, Johann, César, Amsallem, Eduard, Thomas) were to throw the townspeople off the track.
  • SponsaChristi
    Posts: 402
    This week we offer prayers for all who volunteer in our community. Particularly those who drive the elderly from their homes.


    The only typo I see is a period instead of a comma. Other than that, I don’t think that’s a typo.
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,414
    Neither exactly nor inexactly a 'typo' in a mass leaflet, but a confusing sentence about Henry Purcell from the notes of one of my current recital programs. Though it can be 'understood' in two ways, I have decided to let it stand -

    'He grew up in the shadow of Westminster Abbey. His father, who was a member of the Chapel Royal, died when he was five years old. He was thus left in the care of his uncle...'

    (There are times when 'context' is everything!)
    Thanked by 3CHGiffen tomjaw janetgorbitz
  • AndrewSteinerPiano
    Posts: 62
    From a rural parish's bulletin (edited to remove names to save from embarrassment):

    The parish is honored to welcome His Excellentence, Bishop N., for the Installation of Father N.

    The Installation is to be held at the 12:05 Mass at the St. N Parish on Thursday, August 22, East of the Queen Ship of the Blessed Virgin Mary.
  • TCJ
    Posts: 986
    Not a bulletin, but last week I was commenting to the secretary about how last year the lector substituted "immortality" for "immorality" in the passage, "refrain from all immorality." What do you know, but the lector said "immortality" again!
  • tandrews
    Posts: 174
    A friend shared this on facebook: "Remembrance Sunday: We will remember those killed and injured in conflicts during our morning service."
    Thanked by 2CHGiffen ncicero
  • Little_DurufleLittle_Durufle
    Posts: 57
    Here's a good one:

    Agnes Dei
  • lagunaredbob
    Posts: 161

    In the worship aid for a funeral: "Final Condemnation." Not sure if that was the "predictive text" auto correct or other ...
    Thanked by 4tandrews hilluminar ghmus7 rich_enough
  • a_f_hawkins
    Posts: 3,471
    In the Bleak Mudwinter- Darke
    Thanked by 1Carol
  • MichaelDickson
    Posts: 419
    In some places where I've lived, 'Mudwinter' is accurate.
  • ServiamScores
    Posts: 2,890
    I once heard a deacon during Holy Week mess up when reading for Christ: “Father, into your hands I condemn my spirit.”

    I nearly fell over the banister of the loft.
    Thanked by 2Liam Chris Garton-Zavesky
  • Anna_BendiksenAnna_Bendiksen
    Posts: 244
    An invitation to a parish youth group's "Super Bowel Party."
    Thanked by 5CHGiffen MarkB Chris Garton-Zavesky ServiamScores Carol
  • vansensei
    Posts: 219
    Once saw (not in person, but on FB) "No Hay Dios Como Tú" accidentally shortened to "No Hay Dios"

    Este es el misterio de nuestra fé.
    Thanked by 1ServiamScores
  • Chris Garton-Zavesky
    Posts: 6,902
    Vansensei,

    "There is no God like you", shortened to "There is no God"?
    [I'm not a Spanish speaker, but is that right?]
  • Keiran
    Posts: 11
    For Christmas our church leaflet asked us to sing "to save us all from Santa's power".
    Thanked by 5ServiamScores bhcordova CHGiffen Elmar Carol
  • ServiamScores
    Posts: 2,890
    Keiran,
    Anymore, with the commercialism that Christmas has become, that's not such a bad thing to sing!
    Thanked by 3bhcordova CHGiffen Carol
  • Joseph Michael
    Posts: 258
    "I am the serpent of the Lord."
    Thanked by 3ServiamScores CHGiffen Carol
  • Hugh
    Posts: 198
    The old classic "My God I Love Thee Not"
  • ServiamScores
    Posts: 2,890
    An oldie but a goodie:

    “Remember you are butt dust, and to dust you shall return.”
  • CatherineS
    Posts: 690
    I will remember 'butt dust' every Ash Wednesday for years to come. And probably laugh out loud when the priest says it.
    Thanked by 1Carol
  • a_f_hawkins
    Posts: 3,471
    Translation of Paschale Solemnitatis currently available from Liturgy Office CBCEW
    97. ... a sprinkling with water blessed at the Vigil, ... The entrance steps to the church should also be filled with the same water.
    Hat tip to Dom Anthony Ruff.: Golly, the antiphon Vidi aquam takes on new meaning with its “I saw water flowing from the temple…”
  • Brian Michael Page
    Posts: 157
    Actually I wish the term 'worship aids' would vanish from people's minds. It sounds so hackneyed, so unceremonial, so temporary and purely utilitarian, artless, so un-worshipful, like something a producer (not a churchman) would come up with, etc.
    Service folder, mass folder, mass leaflet, or some such seems to me more appropriate for an important part of worship that should be something one would wish to keep.


    I've been using the term "Mass Guide" (if I remember correctly, Liturgical Press used that term for their "Celebrating the Eucharist" missalette back in the day), or, in the case of a non-Mass event, "Liturgy Guide".
    BMP
  • bhcordovabhcordova
    Posts: 1,164
    My big problem with missalettes and worship aides is that we produce something that contains Sacred Scripture that is meant to be disposable. It gives the impression that what is sacred is disposable.
    Thanked by 3Carol tomjaw hilluminar
  • Chris Garton-Zavesky
    Posts: 6,902
    BHCordova,

    As with the entirety of the ORdo of Paul VI, its worship aids and missalettes propose that what is sacred is disposable, ephemeral.
    Thanked by 2tomjaw KARU27
  • a_f_hawkins
    Posts: 3,471
    Oh would that some church somewhere had a Catholic equivalent of the Cairo Genizah!
  • bhcordovabhcordova
    Posts: 1,164
    CGZ, What about worship aids for the Extraordinary Form? Are they not also disposable?
  • tomjaw
    Posts: 2,782
    @bhcordova
    CGZ, What about worship aids for the Extraordinary Form? Are they not also disposable?

    Most people have Missals, a nice pocket sized book that covers the whole year. Nowadays lots of people are using their 'phones which have various apps to show the text. As for any handouts ours are collected and placed in a filling cabinet, because we can use them again next year. The N.O. ones go in the bin because they can't be used next year.
  • CHGiffenCHGiffen
    Posts: 5,193
    ,,, using the term "Mass Guide"

    Is that anything like a Guided Missal?
    Thanked by 5Drake Chris Garton-Zavesky Carol bhcordova CharlesW
  • ServiamScores
    Posts: 2,890
    Nowadays lots of people are using their 'phones which have various apps to show the text.


    To my delight our diocese just issued a formal letter stating that the use of projectors and digital screens is now prohibited. (You cannot proclaim the gospel at the ambo from an iPad.) I don’t believe it prohibits PiPs from pulling the readings up that way, but nothing formal may use them. This is, IMHO, a most excellent policy.
    Thanked by 4KARU27 tomjaw Chris Garton-Zavesky trentonjconn
  • Chris Garton-Zavesky
    Posts: 6,902
    Which diocese?
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,414
    I was writing the word 'pass'' and had not noticed that I had left out the letter 'P'. Fortunately one more read through before printing said typo was spotted and the word was redeemed.. And the people relieved of something to gaggle about.
    I do have some predictable typos. One is writing about the 'nagles' at Christmas time.
    Thanked by 1Carol
  • ServiamScores
    Posts: 2,890
    Sorry I’m late in responding to this: Fort Wayne/South Bend.

    I’m particularly pleased because we used to have a priest who would often substitute an iPad mini for the missal… (sadly, I’m not joking).
    Thanked by 1tomjaw
  • Elmar
    Posts: 506
    Speaking of phones, tablets and apps (a bit off topic):

    Last Sunday our lector - there aren't altar servers any more in that parish, not even girls - forgot to ring the altar bells at the consecration. Almost immediately a cellphone started ringing somewhere in the congregation... and continued until the memorial acclamation.
    Can anyone point us to a decently programed altar bell app?
    Thanked by 3tomjaw ServiamScores CatherineS
  • ServiamScores
    Posts: 2,890
    Can anyone point us to a decently programed altar bell app?

    One humble parish I played for was nothing much more than a glorified living room and could only squeeze in about 40 people. Tiny little one-red-light town type thing in rural Oklahoma. They had a clavinova there, so I would use the tubular bell sound at the consecration... It was reasonably effective and better than nothing, I suppose. lol
    Thanked by 1Elmar
  • tandrews
    Posts: 174
    I've been tempted to use the zimbelstern when the rookie altar servers miss their cue.
    Thanked by 5CHGiffen Nathan_the_Organist CatherineS trentonjconn Elmar
  • CatherineS
    Posts: 690
    @Serviam, I know an iPad-Missal priest, and another who likes to pull up a nice meditative tune on his iPhone during Communion and set the phone on the Missal near to the microphone so it feeds into the sound system...
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,414
    I had thought that 'canned music' was forbidden.
    Thanked by 2tomjaw Elmar
  • CatherineS
    Posts: 690
    It is, as far as I am aware.
    Thanked by 2tomjaw Elmar
  • ServiamScores
    Posts: 2,890
    Catherine, that sounds just wretched.
    Thanked by 1tomjaw
  • Chris Garton-Zavesky
    Posts: 6,902
    Jackson,

    So were girl altar boys, noisy, secular instruments and style of music, laymen distributing Holy Communion and other abberations of our age.

    What a glorious time to be alive!
    Thanked by 3ServiamScores tomjaw CatherineS
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,414
    Chris -
    It is good that we are alive now, for this time is indeed glorious compared to what is to come on this once sublime planet. The disappearance of Santa Clause's homeland and the vast unnatural fires and storms and floods wreaking destruction all over the planet are just the beginning - not to mention that a totally destructive war is more than likely to happen ere this century is out. Kyrie eleison! There hasn't been a time in 6.000 years at which monstrous weapons had been invented that they had not eventually been used. Our leaders, all over he world are like children fighting over toys and are taking ever greater chances with our disposable lives. We are their pawns
    Thanked by 2CHGiffen Elmar
  • ServiamScores
    Posts: 2,890
    I did hear one priest say once that the saints would likely envy us, in a certain sense, if they could, in that the opportunities for our own mortification are so superabundant. Our modern society is so iniquitous that it takes a heroic amount of virtue to survive, and thus our opportunity to garner merit is exceptionally high as well.
    Thanked by 3tomjaw Elmar CatherineS
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,414
    .
  • CHGiffenCHGiffen
    Posts: 5,193
    Not sure how many spotted this one: Pox vobiscum
    Thanked by 5M. Jackson Osborn Elmar CatherineS ServiamScores Drake
  • Elmar
    Posts: 506
    Hopefully the bishop didn't get confused!
    Like in the following story (attributed to Cdl. Simonis, archbishop of Utrecht; not verified):

    "In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."
    "Amen."
    (to the usher) "There is something wrong with the microphone."
    "And with your spirit."
    Thanked by 1CatherineS
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,414
    Chuck - it may be possible that 'pox' was what he really meant - as in 'a pox be upon your house'
    I have run across a few priests who might have meant just that..
    Thanked by 4Elmar CatherineS ServiamScores CHGiffen
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