One elderly man comes up to tell me that when I play so loudly, the old folks lose heart and stop singing.
This concern, I believe, is best addressed when a parish has both a competent organist and competent choir director who, of course, see eye to eye and hear ear to ear on how to accompany singing by any number of singers, from one to hundreds.
Organists can neither completely trust their own judgement of volume, nor can they rely on subjective feeeeeeeelings of parishioners, many of whom (regretably) do not like organ very much. A choir director as colleague is often best suited to help give realistic feedback about accompaniment issues.
This is not specific to organs. Performers can NEVER tell what they sound like to "the audience." No matter the space, no matter the instrument, no matter the performer.
I received complaints that all the music was too fast and others that ir was all slow and dreary at the end of the same mass.
With a couple of individuals, I have had to point out that I work for the pastor, not them, and am implementing his instructions for worship. I invite them to discuss their differences with the pastor, which they decline to do. They know they won't get anywhere with that.
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