Just a follow-up note for anyone in the future that may glean anything helpful from this thread.

Out of concern and love and respect for parishioners, I gave my parish 10-week notice of my last date of service, to give the pastor enough time to find, interview and hire some part-time accompanists and/or a new music director.

Over the past nine weeks I got the organ and piano fully serviced, the music files and cupboards cleaned and organized, wrote up several helpful notes for the next music director, met with and rehearsed the liturgy directors and livestream audio techs on pre-mass tasks they will need to tend to in my absence, showed cantors my set-up routines that I have done before they arrive for masses and rehearsals, and created several documents to assist the pastor in his search for accompanists and a music director.

As is the norm with this pastor, it took 8 weeks for him to find a few minutes to meet with me. His only two questions were, "when is your last day again," and "are we done here, I have to meet a friend for lunch."

I haven't confided any of my misgivings or assessments with a single parishioner other than stating the fact that I am now in my final week of service and the pastor has taken no action since I gave notice 9 weeks ago. I don't have the heart to let any parishioner know that this pastor, although charming in the presence of parishioners, has shown no interest or attachment to staff or personal relationships in the parish.

He seems to be a wounded soul seeking nothing other than accolades and praise from parishioners after masses to fill something that's missing inside himself. When he is politely and respectfully asked to tend to getting some routine parish work done, he suddenly goes on the attack, blaming everyone else and framing himself as a saint. I think this is called "narcissistic personality disorder."

In the last two weeks, five of the parish's most dedicated long-term (ranging 15-30 years) liturgy volunteers, along with a liturgy staff member, have submitted their resignations. A handful of long-term, aging parishioners (and faithful tithers) have announced that after my last day, they are leaving the parish to attend masses closer to home.

The pastor says that "any confusion among parishioners" is all my fault because I told parishioners that this was not the end of my relationship with them, that our close personal friendships will continue.

I learned several lessons here and I hope others here may learn them also, especially while you are much younger than I.

Among these lessons, the most important I learned? "We are servants in ministry, not doormats."

Keep the faith, sisters and brothers in music ministry; God is greater and wiser than any who serve him.

It will all become apparent to anyone with eyes to see. When is staff members leave the same week... somebody is bound to notice. At this point, I don’t think you are duty bound to silence if anyone presses you. So sorry this has happened.

This echos very much my previous situation (see a previous thread for more details), and I feel very much for you. You certainly held out for longer than I did and did more to ensure a smooth transition, so you definitely deserve much credit.

Praying that you will find more spiritual fruit in attending Mass without all that responsibility, perhaps even at another parish.

Thank you all for your kind and bandaging comments. I was only attempting to leave a wrap-up of the situation here for anyone who may find this conversation helpful in the future. However, your comments have been encouraging that, perhaps, my service to another parish in the future may not be completely out of the question.

God...and life... often pleasantly surprise us.

In wrapping things up at my parish, I merely tended to my work as usual. I am surprised that this particular young priest (early 50s) who took vows to shepherd flocks has shown no interest in tending to anything involving "work," such as financial matters, business contracts, event or liturgy planning, and human resources matters.

The liturgy director and I, along with a group of parishioners we've recruited, have tended to hospital visits and personal prayer requests. Parishioners appreciate our efforts, but they want a priest present for these personal events. This priest is absent. He's always at brunch or "out of town" or "unavailable" for reasons that are never given.

It is equally puzzling that he is very popular among his peers. Every person who reported this priest's negligence to the bishop or archbishop soon found themselves "dismissed from ministry."

May God bless all liturgy and music directors everywhere who bite their tongue, shoulder up, and do what must be done for their parish communities. At this point, 40 years into parish music ministry, I am convinced that even the greatest composers serving parishes dealt with these same issues.

I count it an honor to be among you all.