May I ask what source did you use for the basis of the verses?
Anna, this is a stunning text. I was particularly arrested by verse 5, although I quite love verse 3 as well. Really drives home Her perpetual virginity quite well.
Gorgeous!
This is certainly just a matter of stylistic preference but I wonder if your second line could be instead: "Israel's Rose in fullest bloom" - which would keep the accented syllable "full" on beat 1.
Not sure why I don't like this but "Manifesting loving might" seemed a little awkward.
"And twelve stars" - how about "twelve bright stars"?
How horribly inadequate is the answer, "an RCIA video"...
At the current rate, there will be a new CMAA Hymnal out in about three months.
Your hymnody (and that of NIhilNominus) is superb. Both should find a prominent place in Catholic hymnals. Have you considered sending your work to any of them?
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