F in F: It is funny, I was feeling blue about my grown children not being around and the house being so quiet this time of year. You help me to recall my years of teaching and running my children around and the craziness that makes you sometimes want to cry you are so tired.

Each season of life has its own challenges and joys and you are right to look for the hand of God in the change of work situation. I also will pray for peace in the midst of your hustle and bustle. I remember what I would have given for an hour of peace and quiet. Do enjoy it as much as you can while you are in the moment. Thank you for the reality check!

Canadash, it’s safe to say I won’t be accepting any more commitments this season! We have no lack of musicians here, all of my friends and colleagues are equally as busy as we are. However, the one call came from a DoM who just decided yesterday that he wanted a string quartet. He’s exceptionally lucky to find four of us crazy enough to do it with such late notice. Come to think of it, we’ve gotten a lot of last minute requests...I try to have that stuff nailed down by September...

Prayers to all during this time. Please let all these things teach a lesson. Plan a minimum of a year in advance, put every detail down in print for everyone to see from the choir(s), cantor(s), staff, ministers, committees and clergy to see so they have an opportunity to plan around your planning - no excuses in future situations. This kind of planning also helps with your life too!

Within reason stand firm to your plans and above all, get firm commitments from everyone in the music program / department - volunteers and paid. Placing in their hands and making it crystal clear that this is the schedule for the year; commit or leave with thanks for your interest NOW! Of course things unaspected arise, but that MUST be a rarity.

So, be disciplined, plan in great detail, make things crystal clear in black and white to every, get solid firm commitments ahead of the liturgical year and stick to your guns. NO wishy washy.

In the long run you'll avoid a lot of headaches, heart breaks and troubles. And let your pastors and staff know upfront that you are a valued minister but you have a life too, no more liturgical slavery. I use to play for 5 masses everyday, six days a week, multiple rehearsals and office work in addition to practice and prepwork AND teaching school AND private lessons. It took its toll on my health.

Be wise!

Ow ow ow CharlesW, hope you are better very soon.

This really jangled me >> Three singers have told me they will be out of town for Christmas.
I would be *highly* upset to hear this on Dec 10. I wondered, will those three be asked to resign? what ever happened to 'preaching to the choir' - the people you can rely on if not anyone else...?
Agree, working to plan is everything, but provided you get some cooperation. wow.

As children, my brothers and I all participated with my mother as musicians in Christmas Eve Mass. Now all of us are grown and although I miss singing with them on Christmas Eve, I delight in the fact that all over the country we are still singing for Christmas Eve Masses.

Sorry for all the problems you are experiencing. So far our little church choir is holding together. Even the ones whom you secretly might wish can't make it will be there. HO HO HO

I wondered, will those three be asked to resign?

No, because I have no one to replace them with. It's an aging parish and most of the people don't want to do anything except come and watch/listen on Sunday.

So there is no confusion, or accusations of ME being disorderly-I only have two services at work. Everything was organized and settled for those services a long time ago. The other two services are at other churches, one who wanted a string quartet at the last minute and my previous work church that had an unforeseen absence (and now I hear the person “made a mistake” with his schedule and is allowed to stay....If I ever bailed on anyone on Christmas Eve because I was too careless to glance at my calendar, I’d have been fired. Sigh. ) Anyway, I heartily agree that directors should have this stuff planned well in advance. The current trend in my area has been leaning towards hiring musicians later and later into the fall. A year in advance would be a great luxury around here!

How are you holding up?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

CharlesW: Your response to that kid was probably one of the funniest things I've read in a long time -- I wonder what you did to get on that list, lol -- though I do hope your injuries heal quickly.

...they are good with ketchup."

W.C. Fields is said, when he was asked how he liked children, to have responded: 'parboiled'.

Me?
I prefer them well bred.
Intelligence, while not essential, is nice.

Basted in garlic here. But I couldn't eat a whole one.

It's almost as good as when you meet a dedicated cat-person and say "we should trade recipes". They assume you mean for cat-food. The ensuing discussion can be entertaining.

we're not catering to people who show up twice a year. We're hoping that just one person shows up who hasn't been to Mass in years and is open to resuming the practice of the Faith.

Am I the only one who feels great and isn't stressed out at all this year?

Truthfully I'm in my office right now with two hours to kill and can't think of anything that needs to get done... the church is too crowded with people praying for me to go practice otherwise I'd do that.. need to get a practice organ somewhere on campus...

I had a nice moment this past Sunday when the celebrant privately paid me a compliment for the choices of hymns for the Second Sunday of Advent. The congregation was also singing which always gladdens my heart. I am looking forward to singing "O Come O Come Emmanuel" this week.
2 more times to rehearse with the choir before Christmas Eve and a good thing we are doing many repeats from last year since we got "bumped" by special events in the church on choir practice night twice!
KARU27 God bless you and the pastor, my dad died of pancreatic cancer a few years ago.

"Please let our organist practice before Christmas!"

Just kidding.You know you're awesome.

I got the black eye fighting with Santa for telling me I had been bad this year. ;-)

That's what you get for spouting off Arian heresy again, Chuck.

As for me, this Advent has been pretty bloody awful, with a few notable exceptions.

[a lot of this is venting. be forewarned. this is mainly cathartic on my end.]

First, there's the simple fact that, if you have a modicum of musical ability, this time of year it's like event organizers swarm on you like sharks in blood-infested waters. So you're quadruple booked. And then your regular choir director has the gumption to say "why do your commitments have to conflict with mine?" IT'S ADVENT And your roommate asks if you're not being overly ambitious with your own choir and you can't help but ask if he wants your choir to stagnate forever . . . In addition to this, you're called upon to do 'Christmas Carol Street Theater' and you're rushing between gigs and having just taken a third-shift job so you're a walking zombie and the lady "organizing" [if you can call it organized] makes snide remarks because you weren't using the correct hand when dancing the Roger de Coverley - and frankly, I'm starting to hate Charles Dickens. I'm sorry but I find him asinine anymore. Maybe I've just grown numb to him from overexposure. Thanks Advent.

And then there's this silly little sing-off we have every year, going against the local Episcopal choir at the town bistro. The usual coordinator is so excited that he has his mother coming in to help and there's going to be lots of hymns and anthems and all that. Silly me asks "Will there be any chant at all?" and he retorts "Be serious, Stim. It's Christmas. No one wants to hear much of that." And I realize - this is why the sad state of Church music nowadays. Forget our own cultural patrimony. We need to be like someone else. And invariably, when we go up against someone else trying to beat them at their own game - we lose. We have lost ourselves trying to be something we're not. Sigh.

Then, there's the prospect of seeing my family again, and while I love them dearly, there's a part of me that can't help but be absolutely drained every time I see them. Something about going through the litany of "but are you happy doing what you're doing now? [happiness is overrated, but I've got health coverage, so that's something] Son, are you sure you're not gay? [just misanthropic, thank you] We love you just the way you are, buddy! [yay indifference masquerading as affection] It didn't help that Thanksgiving was spent watching my father go into a diabetic coma before my very eyes. Seeing one of your loved ones lapsing into seizures as EMTs desperately try and try again to find a vein for a glucose injection makes you start to ask very important questions of the Almighty.

Don't get me wrong - I love penitential seasons. But I'd sooner it be Lent than Advent. It's hard for pagan mercantilism to make much of the season of Our Lord's Resurrection, let alone it's lead-up (nice try, McFish) - but Secular Advent is just so diametrically opposed to what the season should be like. Secular Advent is like sex before marriage. Yeah, I'm sure it's all good and fun, but when the Big Day comes, and you find you've nothing more to base your rejoicing on afterwards, the salt sorta loses its savor, doesn't it? GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

But. In all this. There is silver lining to the clouds. My chant group helped serve and sing the first Rorate Mass in our diocese since the Second Vatican Council. Mass IX, full chants - it was gorgeous. And it started snowing as we walked out to the rising dawn. And we ate pancakes and made snow angels in the parking lot in our dress suits and bowties. And, unlike Charles, I do have alcohol as an option. And frankly I'll be out of rehab for the rest of Advent, the rate it's going . . .

I think Canadash is exactly correct:

With the lack of musicians around here, my children and I could be running around like crazy, so I say no to requests. Sorry, but four masses in one day is more than enough.

We all like to help, even to the point of putting ourselves out... but sometimes it is more valorous to say "NO", than to over-extend ourselves by accepting untold number of commitments.

I go into full-on Ado Annie mode

TMI, my good fellow.

First, there's the simple fact that, if you have a modicum of musical ability, this time of year it's like event organizers swarm on you like sharks in blood-infested waters. So you're quadruple booked.

PTL God blessed me with just enough talent, but not enough to make anyone notice.

Salieri, your comment had me laughing out loud at work. Much appreciated.

Melo - perhaps not full out Ado Annie. I just lose all function of restraint when it comes to commitments. I'm depraved and all that, but I don't engage in the level of Gloria Grahamesuqe hijinx.

Ah the “family thing”. I have my share of those this year-mostly sadness for the ones I lost and those who cannot be with us. My sister finally sent the paperwork for us to visit her (convicted in February and sentenced to 25 with no parole) but it will be months before it’s processed. There’s also the mild but present disappointment from my side of the family because we leave on the 26th to visit my husband’s family in Florida. Boo hoo. We get to see them once a year. My mom sees me and my kids almost every day or week. Christmas Day can be a bit of a wildcard-exhibit A last year: Wake up, open presents. No morning gigs for either of us, so we go to Mass. Come home with the intent to start preparing and packing for the trip. Last year was the first year we were ever able to afford to make the Florida journey, and I was trying not to panic. My mom and stepdad were supposed to be the only ones coming in the evening to give the kids presents and have a small meal. That turned into “HEY! Your cousin is in town!” Then my best friend and her boyfriend show up, then two aunts, cousin brings boyfriend, and all of them show up with food. We had a grand time until suddenly it’s 10pm and I’m exhausted and inebriated-not a single thing is packed. Finally get to bed around 1am, we don’t leave until 10am. This got us ROYALLY screwed and we ended up rolling into Miramar around 1am on the 27th because I-95 is a total cluster and at a standstill for most of the day.
Ain’t happening this year. No way. Husband has a morning gig and that’s our excuse. We will attend Mass with him, then load the car that night. I want to be on the road on the 26th by 7am, the goal is at least Columbia, SC by 11pm. No Christmas Day partying!!! I also hear rumors of a Christmas Day snowstorm-yet another reason to put the brakes on the celebrating and stick to our schedule.

At the risk of repeating myself, taking multiple commitments is necessary for some of us. Those extra, last minute calls for work are critical to my family, and we are not in a position to turn any of them down until the calendar is full. I’m not “helping out” anyone but my own family and our ability to spend time with loved ones.

Peace be with you all!

Ahh it’s a Christmas miracle!! My 10pm gig was just cancelled! What a relief, although the other quartet people are pretty miffed...This DoM said he was “desperate” and would even pay out of his own pocket to have us there, begged and pleaded. And suddenly he can’t have us there. Hope he doesn’t expect to ever call them again because that’s really unprofessional...

I've had a nice 'Christmas present'.

I was called by Fr Ted, who is the chaplain of Houston's French speaking community which has periodic masses at St Basil's Chapel at UST. Their organist went home (to France) for the holidays, so I have been asked to play for their Christ Mass early on Christmas Eve. Then I will rush out to Walsingham for the Christ Mass at midnight for which, as one of the instituted lectors, I will be singing the epistle - and will return to Walsingham to play for the sung mass with carols on Christmas morning.
(Ahh! It is so nice to be busy!)

The music for the French mass is mostly a few noels and the Messe de Sainte Claire, with an unfortunate gloria featuring the familiar gloria in excelsis Deo as a refrain. This French mass is a nice treat which will, hopefully, increase my French comprehension. I've been a life-long Francophile on days that I'm not an Anglophile - which happens now and then.

(It's too bad that there isn't a French equivalent of Old Church English.)