As I seem to be on a roll with these kinds of questions, permit me to pose yet another one; one I'm sure we've all had to answer.

I'm trying (for a third time in as many years) to answer the plea and cry for a children's choir. Now, in the past I tried to pattern it along the lines of the RSCM, that is, multiple rehearsals per week, either a first and second arrival to rehearsal with an overlap of a period where all were present, or a 4-times per week availability with a requirement of attending 2 of the 4. Neither worked, the typical excuses were, "it's too rigorous . . . they've got too many other commitments . . . my son/daughter can't be there every week because of homework/dance/gymnastics/hockey/swimming/quiz bowl/croquet practice . . . " and on it goes. In response, I've tried, again twice before and will again, to have a once-per-week, one-hour rehearsal and schedule the choir to only sing for around 6 or 7 Masses throughout the program year. In the last two years, nobody signed up, again because the day and time of the rehearsal conflicted with the litany of other commitments the kids have made.

Today, I had a volunteer (cantor) who also works in the parish office tell another staff member with girls who like to sing that "she'll do what she can to make a place for them at one of the Masses" when she cantors. There was no discussion about appropriate rehearsals, etc. I stepped in and said, "you know, really we ought to have a more organized rehearsal with a group of singers for any given Mass, rather than just relying on the 30-minutes of warm-up before hand." The mother said, "well, my girls love to sing, but they can't commit to a rehearsal one hour per week because they have _________." The other volunteer, who seems to have a desire to control the way I structure the music program, said to me, "you know, you gotta bring them in and hook them, then start to lead them to the more structured rehearsal arrangement you'd like."

I had no response. How I'd like to respond is: What would you think of a coach who would say, "let's have your son or daughter just come to the games and kick the ball around. The other team mates and their parents and the folks in the stands watching won't mind. Your son/daughter can just kind of learn the ropes, rules and techniques as they go, then we'll see if they're interested in attending the workouts and practices." Nobody would want to play on the team because there would be no team effort, it would be all about what each individual member feels like doing.

Is this just a typical suburbanite attitude? I want to be responsive, but I also want to have the ability to actually direct the music program, rather than letting it be a free-for-all.