Puer natus est nobis
  • Marek66Marek66
    Posts: 49
    old style
    Thanked by 2CHGiffen Elmar
  • Marek66Marek66
    Posts: 49
    new
  • Marek66Marek66
    Posts: 49
    new
  • Elmar
    Posts: 422
    Nice!
    Minor comment: there are some strange slurs on "na-tus est" not corresponding to the number of notes on the first syllable.
  • CHGiffenCHGiffen
    Posts: 4,872
    Adding to the minor comments:

    (1) m.54-55 "An ge-lus" in all parts is missing a hyphen and should be "An-ge-lus" -- and this happens again in the tenor part in m.58-60.

    (2) There are some awkwardly placed (or misplaced or missing) commas (or periods) in the underlay, mostly related to repetitions of the text (or phrases thereof); for example:

    (a) in the bass part at the beginning, a comma is missing after "est" in m.5; the period after "est" in m.8 should be a comma; and a period is missing after "est" in m.17.
    (b) in the tenor part at the beginning, a comma is missing after "na-tus" in m.11; and in m.14-17, "Pu-er na-tus est no-bis est." without punctuation or an underlay change doesn't make sense -- either a comma after "no-bis" is needed, or (I think perhaps better) remove the "est" in m.15 and slide "tus" of "na-tus" over to the final quaver (so that "na-" gets the first three notes, and live with the inverted word order "Pu-er na- - tus no-bis est."
    (c) in the alto part at the beginning, "nat-tus no-bis, na-tus est." in m.14-17 is likely better rendered "Pu-er na-tus no-bis est." using the inverted word once again, since you seem to want to have the section end on "est."
    (d) in the soprano part at the beginning, "Pu-er na-tus est no-bis, na-tus est." might better rendered as "Pu-er na- -tus nobis, no-bis est." (remove the first "est", giving "na-" three notes and sliding "-tus" over to the fourth note of that measure.

    (3) The "Et filius datus est nobis" section has somewhat similar problems; for example, in the soprano part, remove the period after "-us." in m.25; add a hyphen to "no bis" in m.27 and add a comma; and do the same for "no bis" in m.27. Then do something similar in the remaining parts.

    (4) In the "Cuius imperium super humerum" section, a comma is missing after "humerum" in all parts in m.40.

    (5) In m.47-48 remove comma in soprano part after "no-men,"; put comma after "con-si-li-i" in all parts in m.51; put comma after "An-ge-lus" in all parts in m.57.

    (6) In the final "Puer natus est nobis" section, follow the principles suggested for the beginning.

    When underlaying text, the first principle (principal principle) is to make it as grammatically correct as possible, so that singers can find the breathing/articulation. If extra breath marks (or no-breath marks) are needed, they may be added via the usual musical articulations -- raised comma (or dotted slur).

  • Marek66Marek66
    Posts: 49
    thank You for
    Your comments - I did a revised version with more exact imitations of the theme
    Thanked by 1CHGiffen