I have told this before, but...

One Easter Vigil, after starting the fire outside, the ushers brought the brazier still burning into the church and placed it in the center aisle. It smoked out the choir in the loft and left smoke residue on items within the church. The following year, they left the fire outside but somehow set fire to the mulch around the planting beds. After that, the pastor decided candles were safer and only allowed enough fire outside to light candles. If you didn't think ushers can be dangerous, think again.

If it was live streamed, does that mean it is archived somwhere??? That sounds like something that should be archived!

https://mmogp.ca/livestream
Go to "previous broadcasts" after you hit play. The archive probably won't be up much longer as we tend to delete our broadcasts...

That's really a great one (@ 38:00)!
Seems that it can be downloaded with 'Video Download Helper' as browser-add-on (predicted file size 1018MB, though, for the entire live stream)

What a pity that you were doing everything BEHIND the altar. Good acolyte: you even cared to bow before running away to get the water, and again after extinguishing!

The best one I experienced was: an altar bell falling off in action and rolling all the way across the sanctuary (marble floor).

Reminds me some old youtube finds.
An old one, still funny: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2R08fTwN5u8
Never use a microphone: www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8TzepIEsFY
Dangers of communion on the tongue: www.youtube.com/watch?v=0950SWiuVl8

Better read your rubrics carefully!
"15. Si hostia consecrata, vel aliqua eius particula dilabatur in terram, reverenter accipiatur, et parum aquae in locum ubi cecidit fundatur et purificatorio abstergatur.
Si cadat super vestes, non est necesse ut indumentum abluatur.
Si super vestes mulieris cadat, ipsa particulam accipiat et sumat." (my emphasis)

(Missale Romanum (1962) p.LXVIII; De defectibus in celebratione missae occurentibus:
X - De defectibus in ministerio ipso occurrentibus)

@Elmar - I've been pushing for Ad Orientem, even to go so far as that I'm actually teaching my associate pastor how to say the TLM Low Mass, but alas, the Hamilton Diocese has banned Ad Orientem in the NO...

I once cut my hand on an altar bell while serving a TLM Low Mass. It was at the epiclesis so I just had to wait it out until after Communion, when I went to the sacristy and put a bandage on it...
Another time, the bell fell right off as I was ringing it for the last time...

One of our priests at the Cathedral has a bad habit of swinging the thurible way too close to the altar, such that he's hit the altar a good 3 times as far as I can remember.

Then, there was the time the electronic organ started making boom sounds that almost sounded like gunshots, and one of the concelebrating priests hid behind a pole.

The worst liturgical mishap I've ever been part of took place last August. I had a quartet at my church singing the 11am Mass. We'd just begun the concluding hymn and had sung the first verse when the deacon approaches me and tells me "you have to stop, we need to do the announcements!"

Elmar, many of us don't see the point in these seemingly arbitrary directives in Hamilton.

When you swing the thurible at a 60° angle for several minutes as Casavant Organist did, you get the coal hot enough to even burn tarmac. We've got an acolyte who masters even swinging above horizontal! You can see the metal glow in the dark. And he uses the altar bells like a change ringer, with an upper turning point at approximately ear hight... our pastor loves it because it extends elevation to at least (twice) 15 seconds! (OF versus populum, mind you)

There will be incense tomorrow at the 10am Mass... and the flames were not visible on the livestream. But in any case, I only ring those bells in the manner that I do because they're triple-tongued per each bell. (They also have a tone that I quite dislike...) I recently ordered a new set of bells (Basilica Standing, check Biretta Books if you want to see it). Perhaps they will be better for the more "traditional" way of ringing.

That thurible likely doesn't have enough holes to get that hot with the lid closed. I ordered another one and it's also on its way. One of my biggest pet peeves has been the coals not getting hot enough. I've been wanting to use "real" charcoal briquettes for a while now (with an electric burner) as was suggested in Louis Tofari's Romanitas Press article. But for now, anyways, to mitigate the low heat level on those self-lighting charcoals, I use 2 or 3 of them each time in order to really get the incense burning. On a livestreamed Mass the visual really matters so I really like to get it going. Unfortunately, those self-lighting charcoals love to explode while being lit, and even still like to flame up during use, so I make do with what I have.

Thurifers should always have a spare water cruet standing by! I don't know what I would've done if there hadn't been water in the cruet.

@Carol

Once, when the celebrant was blessing the congregation with Holy Water, the top part flew off

Our abbot, at an oblate meeting, regaled us with a similar tale. When he was freshly ordained (this would be in Tridentine Mass days at the abbey, in the '60s), when blessing with holy water, the ball flew off the stem. Of course the monks could barely contain their snickering. As the abbot recounted "I was so angry at the monks for laughing. I took myself FAR too seriously in those days, now I can look back and laugh at it".

I can imagine very upright monks of the Solesmes Congregation laughing at a Tridentine Mass. It must have been quite the sight!

Ora

I've never seen it happen, but every Advent I spend Mass keeping an eye on the Advent Wreath, which I am sure is going to catch fire at any moment. Too many candles near too much decorative foliage.

...which I had to cut...

I can hardly believe that you cut the bells off your Eastern thurible. This is awful! Not only are they there to be pleasing to us, they are also there to please God and to frighten evil spirits away.
______________________________________

One year when I was playing for the Easter vigil at St Basil's Chapel at UST we had a ruckus over a toppled Paschal candle. The choir and organ console in Philip Johnson's chapel are in an enclosure near the ambo. During one of the readings, the candle (placed near the ambo) fell over, hit the low wall of the choir enclosure, flinging hot wax onto the organist (me!) and the great keyboard. Not surprisingly, this caused quite a stir. The candle was replaced, I survived, and the organ, with nicely waxed keys, came through beautifully.

Well, okay.

Nice!

I received the Body of Christ and as I headed back towards my pew I coughed. A tiny bit came out and fell on the floor. I was able to grab it right away (I know, I shouldn’t have touched it) and put it back in my mouth. It didn’t meet the definition of the “five-second rule”. I don’t know if anyone saw it happen (except God, His saints and His angels) because no one said anything.

That's exactly what I would do as well. Our church cleaning team is so efficient that you can eat from the floor indeed. If anyone had said anything, it would have to be how much you care about particles of the host in any circumstance!

Speaking about particles: our corona rules stipulate that concelebration has to occur at 5ft. distance with one paten per priest and intiction by the concelebrants. Purification is a bit tricky and seems not to have priority... what did our former chaplain do, concelebrating with the bishop? He wiped over his paten and then licked his finger - on life stream of 'cathedral-TV'!