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  • MarkB
    Posts: 1,025
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    Thanked by 1cesarfranck
  • canadashcanadash
    Posts: 1,499
    I guess it is a little like Huron Carol because the first intervals are the same, if I'm not mistaken, but the rhythm is different. They are both in a minor key, but so is half the music written.

    I really like this. I think it is haunting and very pretty. Thank you for sharing.
    Thanked by 2MarkB cesarfranck
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 11,933
    So I am assuming it would be OK for my choir to sing it during Advent? This would be at Holy Ghost Catholic Church, Knoxville, TN. I like it.
    Thanked by 2MarkB SarahJ
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,365
    That OCP didn't like this doesn't say much for OCP, does it?
    The only somewhat awkward moment is the accent on the second syllable of 'promise' in the fourth line of stanza 3.

    (Oh, and it takes a rather weird imagination to hear the Huron carol in this, doesn't it.)

    I think that David Willcocks would have enjoyed making an arrangement of your carol. I can hear it now.
    Thanked by 6Carol CharlesW CHGiffen MarkB cesarfranck SarahJ
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,365
    A couple of observations - your voice leading in a few places results in some awkward spots - particularly in the 5/4 bar in the second score (beginning at sal-va-tion) where you have parallel octaves between treble and tenor, and parallel fifths between treble and bass. There are several ways around these little lapses, but I'll leave them for you to discover.

    P.S. - I still think that your carol is really nice and hope that you get it published.
    Thanked by 1MarkB
  • MarkB
    Posts: 1,025
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    Thanked by 1CharlesW
  • Chris Garton-Zavesky
    Posts: 6,902
    Mark,

    Parallel octaves and parallel fifths (being consonant intervals) tend to stall progress, and are generally avoided (unless, of course, you're someone like Herbert Howells or William Walton, who seem to thrive on such textures).
    Thanked by 1MarkB
  • Richard MixRichard Mix
    Posts: 2,767
    I can't see the HURON HYMN and rather like your setting. Instead of assuming that the Democrats are just trying to make everybody look noninclusive though, might OCP not be balking at the inconsistent rhyme scheme? I can't help thinking "sinned" "begin" would easy enough to tweek, and there's a near occasion for stumbling at "and all peoples would be blessed / through a son whow's prom -is-èd."
  • Schönbergian
    Posts: 1,063
    It's funny that OCP seems to have focused on the alleged similarity to HURON CAROL (that I don't hear) moreso than the trivial technical issues with the harmonization. Shows what they're really looking at.

    Mark, I'd wear that OCP rejection as a badge of honour.
    Thanked by 4CHGiffen MarkB Carol cesarfranck
  • MarkB
    Posts: 1,025
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    Thanked by 2CharlesW cesarfranck
  • cesarfranck
    Posts: 158
    Thank You! I am likely using it.
  • liampmcdonough
    Posts: 282
    Critiques, which may really just be my own musical ideas ...

    1. I think this melody would sound more developed if the rhythmic structure were more symmetric, so that the melody took the form of A-B-A'. The rhythmic idea of the first line is really nice, but then you switch to a different idea repeated in the next two lines. Personally, I would repeat the rhythm of the first line in the last line.

    2. I would be more purposeful in the use of the f#, and embrace the sound of the minor five. That way, the f# retains more significance, and can help to drive the melody into different harmonic territory. For instance, I like the f# in measure 2 because it prepares the listener for the rhythmic change of the B section, and drives the melody into it. The f# before the final cadence makes this cadence feel more final. However, The f#s of m6 b3 and of m4 seem less necessary.

    3. There are several lapses in the iambic meter of the text, especially at: "through a Son Who was promised;" "I will raise up your offspring;" "having been by God thus sent."

    4. The relative major would add some harmonic interest (Bb and F chords)

    5.. Capitalize pronouns referring to God.

    Otherwise, nifty carol!
    Thanked by 1MarkB
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