Avoid the masses. I have a feeling the "person in charge" hears the same as you. Even in a larger parish, finding capable volunteers is often difficult. Those volunteers are not always jewels among the gravel, but may be all that is available.

The singing is objectively awful. It's painful. I'm sure everyone with ears knows it but it's the "elephant in the room" no one will acknowledge. We are not members of this parish, though my children have been asked to serve as cantors. We declined since we cannot abide the normally dreadful "hymn" selections and the Protestant accompanist who doesn't know how to play the Mass well. We go here on Sundays my son does not play the organ at the parish where we are registered, avoiding serious liturgical, and other, issues there. This parish has several cantors on their roster, all of whom are fair to good. It is just this one woman who seriously cannot sing.

We can always drive 2.5 hours to the TLM to avoid both places.

If you cannot offer to help, then keep your lips zipped. The organiser knows full well of the issues, and the pastoral issues involved.

I have a volunteer singer whose voice is growing progressively flatter. She has cancer, and is much-loved in the parish. To a visitor, she probably sounds objectively awful. Parishoners know that she won't be with us for that much longer, and that she has a deep faith and love of music. She sings for as long as she wants to IMHO.

One parish we... attend for Sunday Mass,....

Your answer lies within this phrase.

It could possibly be a trial basis. If this cantor isn't doing as well during Mass, on the spot, as she may have in an audition of sorts, then perhaps she will be removed from the cantor rotation, anyway, and all your stress is for naught.

I remember our previous DoM approving a choir member for canting, but he only did so twice (and in a rotation, of sorts, so basically his second chance was weeks later, but that doesn't mean she thought he was great), and then was no longer in the rotation. It was one of her better decisions, I thought, but it at least showed not only fairness of another chance, but competence of making this decision on her own - even though / especially since she was the one who approved him, in the first place.

liturgical musical plan for small parishes

They did that, it's the Graduale Simplex. All the forces you need are one cantor capable of sprechgesang. It's little more demanding than what is expected of (not neccessarily delivered by) any priest.

liturgical musical plan for small parishes

It's only a better mousetrap if people know about it, receive encouragement to use it, are offered workshops to train them in it and it is used in the Seminary.

Publishers required to include it in missals/hymnals if they want to use the translated Mass text.

Otherwise, the church mice remain safe.

Taking into consideration, of course, objections made for the sake of one's own health - "Dad, are you sure you cooked this on the grill long enough? I love you and all, but I love you more than Mad Cow Disease . . ." (anecdote from experience)

So remember EducationalMatriarchFourandTwenty, cantoring is a medium which is rare to find well done.

Self-evaluation is a two-edged sword. Objectively, I'm a decent singer who occasionally sings very well. But if you would ask me to evaluate myself, I would give myself a scathing review and never open my mouth again. Avoiding self-evaluation, and striving to evaluate myself as I would do for any other performer, is a constant struggle for me.

There are probably a lot of people who should be instrumentalists rather than vocalists. But there is also a tendency in American parishes to regard all instruments except guitar as "too hard" for laypeople to learn. If someone shows up already knowing an instrument, he is treated as a miracle. There is no music development within the parish (unless there's a parochial school with a band), and no budget to grab professionals.

There also seems to be a tendency in American parishes to encourage disabled persons to become singers, regardless of how their disabilities affect their vocal performance. These people are rarely assisted to learn to get around their disabilities and learn to sing better. If they have limited vocal ranges or odd vocal qualities, nobody writes them a part that lets them use their strengths instead of displaying their weaknesses.

A fair number of psalm settings are written in ranges hostile to normal human beings. Music directors usually insist on every cantor attempting to sing the same melody in the same range, even though the settings are usually written for tenors or sopranos. Transposing the range is 'too hard.' (I've even heard some folks claim that transposition violates the composer's copyright, which is of course silly and incorrect.) Naturally, singing outside their own range makes a lot of cantors sound terrible.

Finally, there's such a fear of public singing among most American parishes that it's like pulling teeth to get any cantors or choir members. So of course there's a great deal of tolerance for the substandard singer who actually shows up.

"even though the settings are usually written for tenors or sopranos"

Well, there is that, and the apparent belief among some music directors that baritones and mezzos who constitute the bulk of male/female voices are just lazy tenors and sopranos.

Well, there is an issue with choral directors who place inordinate value on the voices than mezzos and baritones that skews how they deal with people. Even with trebles...I am reminded of something a friend of mine told me just 3 months ago when her son, a now-former treble of a boys' choir, was rather curtly told by the director that he (said boy, that is) was free to leave, as it were.

As for the original post, I'm imagining what any church music director's life would be like, if everyone felt emboldened to say what he (or she) thought about the local talent, or lack thereof. : )

I am a non-lazy baritone verging on bass who fakes being a tenor in choir, as needed. When I cantor, most of what I sing is chant and is written with a blessed moveable do. When I sing something that is in modern notation, I have a blessed organist who can transpose.

Teachermom should not have to drive 25 miles to attend Mass. Prior to Vatican II you could not attend Mass anywhere but your local parish - and there was rarely a reason not to compared to today.

The nearest Catholic church to us, which is supposedly our proper parish church though it is a mission, is 20 miles away. We went there once but the horribilis "music" ensured we'd never return (it's hard to describe but if you've ever seen the movie Beethoven and recall the woman playing the home organ, that would kind of get close).

We live in the rural South--not much around these here parts.

I have come to the conclusion that there are two camps regarding church music: those who believe music at church is about and for us, and those who believe it is about and for God.

Yes, it can get worse, and today we experienced worse. My college-boy son and I attended 8:00 am Mass at our "regular" parish where my 19-year-old son, Peter, is the organist (plays twice a month at 10:00 am Mass because the parish can't "afford" him to play more)) since I had to get him to meet his ride back to college at 10:00.

The "music" was computer-generated recordings of music with singers, starting with "Were You There". Sometimes it cause me to weep . . . In an earlier thread, I wrote about the Mass on January 1 where my two organist sons sat in the pews while the recorded music played on. I wrote to our bishop with the hope he would call on our pastor to correct the abuse but instead our pastor just informed us that the parish can't afford to pay an organist.

Today, after communicating, I asked for guidance to know what to do; how could we help in this situation? The answer came to me to have Peter volunteer to play the organ at all the 8:00 am Masses. He agreed and so has submitted the offer to do so. If accepted, this will also solve the other problem of avoiding our alternate parish with the cantor who can't sing since our family would attend where Peter plays the organ.

Our pastor said, "no" to the offer. The reason:

No one in the diocese can volunteer to do anything that they normally get paid to do.

Peter is now offering to take a 50% pay cut to allow him to play at the other Masses.

Teachermom, what does the "masstimes.org" site give you for distances to the nearest parishes? I think trying gimmicks with your current pastor (like the pay-cut offer) is just not likely to succeed. Driving a few miles farther may be worthwhile if it lets you find a Mass that is more within the normal range.

It occurred to both Peter and me this morning to drop the "fight". This isn't a battle we need to fight and put our pastor in a corner to try to force his hand. He'll just say no anyway when he's run out of policies to hide behind. He will be gone soon enough (within weeks). We need to focus our attention on praying more fervently for our next priest. A few concerned families will begin meeting weekly to pray a Rosary for this intention.

We live in the rural South--Catholic parishes are few and widely spread. The nearest to us are 20-25 miles away, and they're pretty much all variations on the same theme. To get to a parish that is significantly better would mean a 2-2.5 hour drive each way.

It's Lent. More prayer. More sacrifice. More quiet.

I understand your rationale, but that's not what her block quote says.
Either way, my post was obviously a joke.

it protects the church from claims about not paying for all services

This is never an issue for churches that aren't allergic to putting contracts in writing.

If the pastor is concerned with policies and finances, say this. I would love to come and give my money to this parish. I also would like to recommend this parish to my friends and family. But the singing of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is so awful that it is a major distraction. I will neither come here nor give my money nor recommend this parish until the singing is significantly improved. State your disapproval of the music selection, if you want. Lastly, tell him you will be going to _________ (the nearest church with good music). If you will be receiving a new pastor, then schedule a meeting with him asap and mention your concerns. I am sure the new pastor knows about that parish. His mission will be either to keep the status quo or turn things around. Pray always.

That seems a rather extreme interpretation of what was said.

Ah yes, Lord, she said; the dogs church musicians feed on the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.

Matthew XV:27, New Revised Choir Director Edition

If the policy is in place to protect full-time workers, fine, but that doesn't apply in our situation. The organist position at our church is very part-time, not full-time, normally 6-7 hours per month (two choir rehearsals and two Sunday Masses). It wouldn't hurt anyone for my son to volunteer to play at extra Masses. This is what I mean about bureaucratic policies that don't take into account real situations, just the most extreme.

I agree... in fact, we have a situation at my parish where there are four different choirs, each with its own director. Each choir has a rehearsal each week, and plays for Mass 3 out of every four weekends a month (I know, it's complicated). I am the only one who receives a stipend (because I asked for it when I started). It isn't much, but I have a philosophical problem with a parish not being willing to pay musicians (they don't expect the secretary or janitor to work as a volunteer, after all). It is a matter of whether it is valued appropriately, imo.

So... I have begun taking June and July off each summer (it is a terribly busy time for me and we all appreciate the break). I was discussing it with one of the other (volunteer) choir directors. She was saying that there wasn't any way she could take such a break as there wouldn't be anyone to take care of music for the Masses. I told her that the solution would be to pay all the choir directors and begin working to hire musicians when replacements were needed. As long as she works as a volunteer, she is correct... she will have difficulty finding anyone to fill in when she needs to be gone...

I am not the director of music (our parish doesn't have one), nor do I do any of the scheduling, so it is up to her (she does those things as a volunteer) to take care of...