Choir Memes
  • Ha!
    I like the one about
    'How many choir directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?'
    Thanked by 1Casavant Organist
  • Q: how many choir directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: No one knows. No one ever watches the choir director.

    Ain't it the truth.
    don't mind me, I am just in one of my moods.
    Thanked by 2Incardination Carol
  • In Texas, such 'how many does it take....' jokes are typically about Aggies and Poles.
    I've never understood why Poles.
    Ha! Did Texans ever produce the likes of Chopin?
    And, who was it but the famed Polish cavalry who turned the tide at the gates of Vienna in 1688?
  • CHGiffenCHGiffen
    Posts: 5,150
    Why does it take 4 trumpet players to change a light bulb? Well, it doesn't really take four, just one will do, but the other three need to be there to brag about how they would have done it better.
  • the one my sopranos enjoyed most was

    Q: How many altos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: None. They can't get up that high.

    thanks for getting me out of the mood. whew!
  • How many harpists does it take to change a light bulb?

    None -- they're too busy tuning their instruments.
  • At a convention workshop, the presenter recommended several collection of "free hymn accompaniments" available at the different booths in the exhibit hall.

    One young organist promptly went looking for these books and started to walk away with them without paying.
    Thanked by 2Carol bhcordova
  • CHGiffenCHGiffen
    Posts: 5,150
    Q: What is a minor second?
    A: Two altos singing in unison.

    Q: What is an oboe?
    A: An ill wind that nobody blows well.

    Q: What is the difference between an oboe and an onion?
    A: Nobody cries if you chop up and oboe.

    Yes, I'm an oboist.
  • Carol
    Posts: 849
    How are a banjo and a lawsuit alike. Everyone is happiest when the case is finally closed.
  • The youngsters at my school (grade 5 and 6), the Junior Choir, have a cute memes page.
  • Not specifically choir, but I once had more or less this conversation with my father, only much later learning that it is a joke, of sorts.

    Child: Dad, when I grow up, I want to be a musician.
    Father: I'm sorry son, but you can't have it both ways.
  • The top ten reasons men should join the church choir (I have a special fondness for #6):

    10. Rehearsals are every Wednesday night. Which means that for those few hours, you will significantly reduce your risk of contracting tendonitis from nonstop operation of a television remote control or computer mouse.

    9. Because you wear a choir robe every Sunday, you are liberated from a task many men find quite challenging: Finding Clothes that Match Properly.

    8. From your special vantage point in the choir loft, you will develop interesting new hobbies. Among these is a little guessing game called "Who's Praying, Who's Sleeping?"

    7. On the other hand, sitting in full view of 400-500 people on a weekly basis makes it much less likely that you yourself will give in to a chronic lack of sleep (although it has been known to happen).

    6. If you think your singing in the shower sounds good now, just wait till you've been singing with us for a few weeks.

    5. Singing in a choir is one of the few activities for men that does not require electronics equipment or expensive power tools. This could be good for the family budget.

    4. For the fitness buffs, singing in the Choir is not only heart healthy, it's soul healthy. But there are no monthly membership fees, and it's a lot easier on the knees than jogging.

    3. If you think you've done everything there is to do, and there are no great challenges left in life, try singing with us guys and staying on pitch.

    2. Choir rehearsal lasts half as long as a professional football game, but is at least twice as satisfying. This is especially true if you are a long-suffering fan of the Miami Dolphins (don't worry, though, rehearsals are on Wednesdays, not Monday nights.)

    And the number 1 reason men should join the choir:

    1. When people ask you whether you've been behaving yourself, you can say with the utmost sincerity, "Hey, I'm a Choir Boy."
    Thanked by 2CHGiffen bhcordova
  • CHGiffenCHGiffen
    Posts: 5,150
    Reasons to sing in the choir, depending upon your abilities:

    1) You have a splendid, well-trained, voice ... which makes it fitting that you glorify God and edify the others with your singing in choir.

    2) You have an average, so-so voice, even a bit untrained ... which means you can improve your vocal skills at the same time that you can enjoy the company of others, most of whom are in your same situation.

    3) You have a terrible voice with no God-given skills whatsoever ... which means this is your best chance to get even.

  • CHG lol....

    in my growing up years, my mother was a soprano in choir, but alas, many years of heavy smoking ruined her voice.

    She moved to this city when I was in my mid 30s, and I was by then in choir myself.

    Mom told me that she would sit in the same seat every week and just sing away, until the people all around her started singing over her, out of self defense
    and when she had them all singing, she would find a seat in a different section of the nave and start all over again.
    she said with a twinkle, I think of it as my apostolate.
  • Mme -
    Indeed, your mother was quite an apostle!