I Kicked a Prophet out of Church Today
  • NihilNominisNihilNominis
    Posts: 986
    So, after the Mass that I cantor pro bono downtown, I discover my wife downstairs conversing in the narthex with a man who, I discover, claims that he is a prophet and, moreover, that God, speaking to him in the depths of his conscience, has revealed to him that he is the Second Coming.

    We suffered through a long and fruitless conversation, during which he claimed to be receiving continual revelations from the Father, and a very strange and inconclusive attempt to prove his divinity by picking a passage of Scripture apparently at random (2 Kings 4:13) and attempting to exegize it.

    Eventually the topic of discipleship emerged, and the Holy Spirit came up. At which point, he told me that, "the Father wanted to let you know that the Holy Spirit is different now...he's not holy anymore."

    For some reason, I completely lost it at that point and had a cleansing of the Temple moment, and essentially shouted him out of the church, telling him that he would not blaspheme the Holy Spirit in His Temple so long as I was around. I now feel as if I spent my evening shouting at a paranoid schizophrenic.

    At the same time, some of what he said could very well have confused the poorly-formed, and I hope he was discouraged from polluting the house of God with such audacities in the future. But still...I feel so ambiguous about this moment.

    Also, this is one of the most spiritually "live" churches in the city, and I've always felt as if the evil one is drawn to attack it in bizarre and unsettling ways. But then, mental illness is a more likely explanation, I'm sure.
    Thanked by 2noel jones, aago Casavant Organist
  • noel jones, aagonoel jones, aago
    Posts: 6,605
    He's at home posting the same thing on his favorite blog. Hopefully, he's not a real prophet. That'll give you something to worry about.

    "Yes, I went there. Yes, I spoke to him. Yes, it went well, all except for the change in the status of the Holy Spirit. He is not ready for that yet. Yes, I shall return. Any chance I could perform a small miracle? That might be convincing. No? Ok, it was just a thought."
    Thanked by 1NihilNominis
  • NihilNominisNihilNominis
    Posts: 986
    Are we for the moment to sing, "Holy, Holy, [pending]..." ?

    I did track the guy down via the Internet. He seems to be a percussionist on the local indie rock scene. I'm thinking drugs were involved.

  • noel jones, aagonoel jones, aago
    Posts: 6,605
    Yours or his?
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,365
    It's difficult, I think, to feel anything but pity for such a man (or woman - there are lots of them). Unfortunately, one can rarely tell them anything because they know all there is to know. It is rather pointless to become angry at (or argue with) anyone who is patently irrational. I probably would not have become angry with him, but would have manoevered him out of and away from the church, sent him on his way and prayed for him. (Rock band and drugs? That says it all - poor soul!)
    Thanked by 2NihilNominis ryand
  • canadashcanadash
    Posts: 1,499
    I offered ours a ride home. It was pouring rain. I'm pretty sure there are no drugs involved, though he mentioned a light-sabre, or something like that. He told me I treated him like a dog, whilst offering him a ride, so he declined. I thought I was just being nice. Oh well.
    Thanked by 1NihilNominis
  • matthewjmatthewj
    Posts: 2,694
    Last year the rector, secretary, and I were in the office and noticed someone running in the sanctuary in the middle of a weekday afternoon on a security monitor. The rector and I took off running toward the Cathedral and by the time we got there the couple were leaving. The rector ran up to them while I ran to the church to check if everything was still there. While I was checking to make sure the candles were still there the rector found out the couple claimed to be "fulfilling a prophecy." We asked them not to go in the sanctuary again and I've never seen them back again.
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,365
    ...someone running in the sanctuary...on a security monitor...

    Um, how big was this security monitor?
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 11,933
    Every false religion out there has started with such a "prophet." The problem is that many people believe them. Why, I don't know. The more illogical the prophecy, the more likely it will be believed. We had such a "prophet" in our own parish some years ago who continually told us what Our Lady thought about one thing or another. I finally told her to tell Our Lady to shut up. I didn't want to hear any more of her "messages."
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,451
    I am convinced that a congregation isn't truly a church unless it has at least one recognizable member with obvious mental illness. Their presence is a sign that something right is going on, and how we treat them is an indication of our commitment to the kind of inclusive love preached and lived by our Church's founder.

    Yea, the sparrow hath found her an house, and the swallow a nest, where she may lay her young; even thy altars, O LORD of hosts, my King and my God."
    -Ps 84:3 (BCP)

    The loon and the dodo,
    the cuckoo too,
    the parrot, the turkey,
    and me, and you.
    -AMW
    Thanked by 8canadash melofluent Andrew_Malton PaxMelodious Spriggo CHGiffen Elmar Casavant Organist
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 11,933
    We must be truly a church. Every nut in town ends up at our place. LOL.
  • StimsonInRehabStimsonInRehab
    Posts: 1,916
    The Church is like a holiday cake. Lots of spiritual fruits, but you're bound to come across a nut every now and then.
    Thanked by 6M. Jackson Osborn CharlesW canadash CHGiffen Elmar Casavant Organist
  • Liam
    Posts: 4,942
    The nuts are OK. It's the candied citron that looks great but tastes terrible (unless you make it well yourself).
    Thanked by 2CharlesW CHGiffen
  • StimsonInRehabStimsonInRehab
    Posts: 1,916
    And, of course, the cake is at it's most agreeable if it's infused with spirits - Holy or Otherwise.
    Thanked by 2CharlesW M. Jackson Osborn
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 11,933
    I may be one of the only people in the world who actually likes fruit cake. I am basing that on the fact that nearly everyone tells me they hate it. LOL. There was/is a national fruit cake toss where they catapult fruit cakes into the air to determine greatest distance.
  • matthewjmatthewj
    Posts: 2,694
    I've had good and bad fruitcake. Usually the good ones are made at home by borderline (or non-borderline) alcoholics and the bad ones are from the local discount grocery store. Then there are a few degrees of average-to-okay fruitcakes in between.
    Thanked by 1CharlesW
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,365
    I'll join Charles in being a fruit cake afficianado.
    The fruitier (and nuttier) the better.
    (Stollen will do if no fruit cake is in sight.)

    (Oh dear! We're OT again. Adam will be displeased.)
    Thanked by 1CharlesW
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 11,933
    (Oh dear! We're OT again. Adam will be displeased.)


    I know, but isn't it fun? Hehehe
    Thanked by 1M. Jackson Osborn
  • bhcordovabhcordova
    Posts: 1,152
    Best fruitcakes are made by Collin Street Bakery here in Texas
    Thanked by 1CharlesW
  • bonniebede
    Posts: 756
    mmmm fruit cake.... with Guinness, brandy soaked cherries and rum soaked raisins....
    Thanked by 1CharlesW
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,365
    Fruit cake, fruit cake, we love fruit cake -
    Tart citron and crunchy nuts,
    Munchy cherries, rum and whiskey
    all together are too much.
    Oh, delicious! Oh, how tasty!
    What a gustatory treat.
    We won't go until we get some,
    Served with hard sauce freshly made.
    - Ode to Joy

    ...Collin Street Bakery...
    So I've heard!
    Thanked by 1CHGiffen
  • Richard MixRichard Mix
    Posts: 2,767
    I assumed the thread heading was a song title. No, go right ahead, I'm not calling dibs…
  • Chris Garton-Zavesky
    Posts: 6,902
    Gentlemen,

    Fruitcake, if you mean Claxton oblongs, is nearly inedible, and a fraud.

    English Wedding Cake (which, in a pinch, can double as Christmas Cake) is one of the fine delicacies of life. Royal Icing, Marzipan, rich cake -- and aged for at least 6 weeks before eating.
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,365
    ...Marzipan...
    What fuss the about is Marzipan I understood ever not have.
    Thanked by 1Spriggo
  • ghmus7
    Posts: 1,464
    What some ppl don't understand is that so may homeless folks suffer form mental illness, and that is why they are homeless. I used to work for a downtown church in inner-city Detroit, and so many of the homeless that practically lived in the church just were not rational. They had difficulty living with other people in a community situation. it was in interesting church, with disturbed people interrupting the Mass, and elderly parishioners being robbed at gunpoint in the church.
  • janetgorbitzjanetgorbitz
    Posts: 964
    Love, love, stollen... fruitcake not so much. Although I do have a recipe that is the exception to that statement somewhere from a Filipino family that required regular infusions of rum for many weeks before Christmas that was very delicious...

    *departing to go hunting for that recipe*
  • eft94530eft94530
    Posts: 1,577
    required regular infusions of rum for many weeks

    Every December my mother would make a batch of fruitcakes
    for the following Christmas.
    Each fruitcake (twelve or more total) was the size of a red brick,
    wrapped in cheesecloth and a jigger of Brandy applied.
    Then wrapped in wax paper.
    Then wrapped in aluminum foil.
    Every month out and unwrapped and brandied and repackaged.
    Thanked by 1M. Jackson Osborn
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