The phrases are well crafted and have a nice "bloom" to them, but the rests between each phrase is a bit repetitive. The piece would seem less disjointed if you dovetail some of the phrases together (as you do with the S and T in measures 4 and 9). The repetitive feeling is also not helped by so many of the phrases ending on the same chord (the "dominant.")
The preponderance of four-bar phrases gets repetitive as well, which is only highlighted by the rests between each one. The second and last phrases are a welcome relief from this pattern.
Not to be too pedantic, I see a few "faux-pas" according to the strict rules of voice leading: parallel octaves, fifths, and a "beat to beat" parallel (mm. 11-12, S and B), though most of these (with the exception of mm. 28-29 in the tenor and bass) are not that noticeable. Also, there are a few places where all the voices move in the same direction (though not in parallel motion) which is not the best: mm. 24, 38.
One final nit-pick: I would place the penultimate syllable of eleison only on the final note preceding the "-son." With the accent on the "-le-", it sounds odd to my ear. There are also some spots with repeated notes where I wonder whether you misplaced the syllable by mistake or left out a tie (as you evidently did at mm. 26-27 in the S): m. 5, S; m. 10, T; m. 34, T; m. 37, B.
But these are really minor concerns. The individual parts look quite singable and the part writing is varied, tight, and effective - writing in three parts is not easy! I look forward to seeing the other movements.
Postings on this forum represent the views of the individual participants and not necessarily those of the Church Music Association of America. (Some participants are not even members.)
I concur with Rich about the continuous four-bar phrases. Pulling a note or two forward, and delaying an entrance in one or two of the three parts could allay some of the tediousness. E.g. mm17-18: if you pull the tenor entrance forward so that it begins on beat 3 of m 17, and tie it over to beat one of m 18 and continue as written, it will create a nice hemiola in the tenor. In m. 14, bass, you could put a rest in place of the low Bb, and change the underlay of "Christe e-" to fit the remaining quarter and two eighths.
I would also change the underlay of Christe to match the Graduale: Chri-ste, rather than Chris-te.
The scola with which I sing has been singing Byrd's Mass for 3 voices, so I plead being under the influence of such a master in designing the phrases as I did. I've removed some of the block-ish-ness.
To participate in the discussions on Catholic church music, sign in or register as a forum member, The forum is a project of the Church Music Association of America.
