melo, the memory of those 8 psychosocial stages which Erikson proposed, are what have stuck with me more than anything else from my psych. coursework. Numbers 7 & 8 were the ones that really hit me back then: Generativity vs. Stagnation (#7), and Integrity vs. Despair (#8). My repetitive prayer to God is that I don't end up stagnant and embittered.

Psychosocial Stage 8 - Integrity vs. Despair
•This phase occurs during old age and is focused on reflecting back on life.

•Those who are unsuccessful during this stage will feel that their life has been wasted and will experience many regrets. The individual will be left with feelings of bitterness and despair.

•Those who feel proud of their accomplishments will feel a sense of integrity. Successfully completing this phase means looking back with few regrets and a general feeling of satisfaction. These individuals will attain wisdom, even when confronting death.

"Lead me to the rock that is higher than I." I would rather be with St Sisoes on my deathbed, than desire integrity and freedom from regret.

I don't know if it is on point or not, but it is a very good point in itself.

Haha, I've just put that in rather nostalgic terms...

Anamnesis is an efficacious remembering, but of what?

--If, the works of God, it's religious and efficacious of grace. God brought us out of Egypt, so He will help us now. Some version of this kind of expression of hope (God has helped us before and He will again) is normative for the introits and collects of the Mass.

--If, this song used to give me that lovin' feeling, not so good.

Homer to Marge Simpson: "Didn't we used to make out to this hymn."

You actually tapped into the mother lode vein of my perspective, Kathleen, if you were advancing the mitigating and true power of prayer and contemplation and their effect upon these transformational life periods. And Adam's wise observation that we ought to take stock of our longing for God (Pss. 42 and 63 come to mind) should keep us vigilant well into the 8th stage and to not dwell in mere recollection, but that true anamnesis of salvation history and future.
In addition to your post on "Wait for it, it's coming" we can add that in the meantime there are some who, for their part, have not allowed stasis to embed itself into their life's trajectory. Oh, and the Four Last Things are comin' back in a big way!

Regarding this:

Adults need to create or nurture things that will outlast them, often by having children

and my recent familial expansion, I often think on the following (which, I have stated publicly, I want on my tombstone).

To him alone all who sleep in the earth bow down in worship;
all who go down to the dust fall before him.

My soul shall live for him;
my descendants shall serve him;
they shall be known as the LORD'S for ever.

They shall come and make known to a people yet unborn
the saving deeds that he has done.

These thoughts have cut me to the quick today, in a good way. In the space of less than a month, I turned 40 and underwent a (medically necessary) surgery that closed the door to having any more biological children. Talk about changes.

I am a social bird. So, while I am acquainted with and enjoy the company of lots and lots of folks, I am moreover blessed with Christian friendship in such a way as to render me wealthy far beyond my deserving. In sadder moments, reflecting on dear friends has remained a calm and steady joy, almost a life preserver. In happy times, wine and joy bobble about together. Deo gratias!

I got a late start, but am glad these friendships were, by the grace of God, accomplished throughout young adulthood. Such friendships continue to form, to deepen, to "melo". Deo gratias!

Now that I've cherry-bombed into undeniable adulthood, I see how these stages affect my work as a sacred musician. For several years I have spun our Catholic songs into the ears of children, praying the prayers might connect in minds that love God and nestle warmly into hearts that love God. Now these souls are of an age where I witness them sing skillfully to God from their minds and hearts, and with all their strength. And that is an accomplishment I didn't expect to ever know or delight in so much. Deo gratias!

What, and who, and how will we leave from our daily sweat poured into our apostolates? I reflect on this a lot.

Many secular people, when they think of their "legacy," seem to be worried primarily about what people will say about them after they are gone. The progressive-(post)-Christian version of this is to recast "the afterlife" in terms of how we live-on in the stories people tell about us.

Then, of course, there is a fundamentalist Protestant/Puritan worry about what our eternal fate will be- punishment or reward.

I am not so much concerned with either of these things, as I know that human memory is fleeting and that God's mercy is lasting. Though it sounds overly-individualistic (I think it is not, at heart), I have more and more realized that the judgment I worry about is whether, at the end of my life, I can say in honesty:

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

Mo betta hymns
I want that and I'd buy it!

I wouldn't buy it.
I might buy a projected St Dunstan's Hymnal: all the best, minimal tune repeats, no dross, absolutely none (and that goes for any even slightly schmaltzty Marian or saints' hymns-songs. Settings of the mass would be at least as good as the Willan, plus plainchant masses in English and Latin. A companion volume would be An English Gradual containing all the texts of the Graduale Triplex in English and set to music somewhat more erudite and musically developed than the SEP and should include a three year cycle of responsorial psalms and Alleluya & verses. In other words: a COMPLETE English Graduale for the Church in America. The books, and each item of their contents, should be an impeccable work of musical and literary art.

Jackson, who is publishing the St Dunstan Hymnal? Sounds intriguing?

Melo, guilty of jumping on the train. My bad.

Back to original programming, as it were, your post got me thinking of particular good folks I know who did make friendships in young adulthood, then converted to Catholicism as older young adults. I'd put the number of close friends at 4, wider circle of friends at about 12.

The pattern for this group was very similar. They made friends, but the relationships were all formed around self-destructive forms of partying and/or things we leave behind as Christians. In some cases, their entire circle of friends were living the homosexual lifestyle.

When the new Christians revealed their new found religion to party/lifestyle circle of friends, they wanted nothing to do with the new converts. And they found they weren't interested in the partying, or whatever. Their former relationships dissolved. Some had family that rejoiced over their conversion, others had no support from family, and very little way to make friends.

So they were 25-40 and basically friendless. Many found a difficult time forging new friendships, and have expressed the toll of lonliness and isolation.

I bring this up because, as I reflect, almost all of these 12 or so people are or were church musicians, and share in our faith as well as our profession. They have all the usual struggles and drama of a church musician, with the added social/ psychological pressures of needing to find new friends while not wanting to reveal too much about their former lives. My heart goes out to these friends in this situation. And I've been around long enough to see some succeed, some continue to struggle pretty hard, and others simply leave the faith.

I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in observing this problem.

My question-
What are some ways church musicians with strong friendships find and reach out others who are coming into the community, or have been in the community and fight lonliness?

Hmmmmm
Guess it's time for me to start that local CMAA chapter I've been dreaming about for years. :)

I have found many good people of faith in the local AGO chapter. They are not all Catholic, by a long shot, but still good people.

What a story, expeditus 1! Glad you put away the swine tech's apron and reclaimed your baptismal garment. Most of us have spent time on that farm. :)

Thanks for the reminder about personal invitations.
I do think there are helpful Internet resources, though I also treasure the face to face encounters. Trying to word that right...

Are you still in LA area? I'm in SD, fyi.

e1,
When I conceived of this thread I was consciously trying to sort out how one generation of stalwarts, notably Maestro's Salamunovich, Wagner (his mentor), Mahrt, Schuler, Skeris, Marier, Berry and Ward et al, somehow resolutely did not yield to the prevailing powers of iconoclasts? I spoke with Paul at a couple of California retreats about that, and his story was remarkably alike that of Mahrt's, a sort of quiet confidence and sure-footed ability to sidestep clerical shenanigans. But, in the end didn't it have to come down to "It was beauty that killed the beast."? What you heard at St. CB's that morning was not significantly different than what Wagner led in the 50's. Personal piety wed to the finest art had to be like seals on these great hearts.
The rest of us had to go through some sort of curve from '70 onward, and some got stuck while others kept looking for the grail, even tho' it was right in front of us the whole time.
I don't think all that much about legacies anymore. I've always known that the language of love between God and man, for me, was to be found in music. And the hubris of my youth and even adulthood informed me that "thicker music" was deeper love. I had no concept of how wrong I was, the only thick thing was my head. Fatuous.
It is enough that I've been graced to be able to include chant into the Sunday experience of Mass, and to enjoy the unity and precision of it if only singing with my wife.
Regarding the curve and stages of our younger compatriots, I hope they can restore the confidence of all towards our heritage, but do so after laying their swords and shields down by the riverside. The terms Liturgy Wars/Music Wars need to be retired.

CHGiffen, should I worry about you if you decide to leave WI and go on a big fat adventure?

should I worry about you if you decide to leave WI and go on a big fat adventure?

You probably should, since that is highly unlikely at my age. Trips away from my home in western WI have been pretty much limited. What few adventures we had amount to excursions mostly made for family oriented visits and events ... so far to such widely dispersed places as Dayton, OH (with side trip to Cincy), Raleigh, NC (for the joyous wedding of our fifth child), Albany, OR (via Seattle, WA), and Yuma, AZ (with visits to nieces in Mesa and sightseeing at the Grand Canyon and Petrified Forest en route), as well as a family reunion three years ago that was held at a state park in Indiana. The one thing we have done for ourselves ... aside from annual fall and spring day drives down the Mississippi river to Wabasha, MN to see fall color and spring migration of bald eagles and other birds, including pelicans ... is to make the rare trip of a few days to Duluth, MN and the north shore of Lake Superior. The trip to Albany and Seattle was about a week long, and the trip to Yuma at the beginning of this year lasted almost two weeks. The others were for a few days each, at most, typically on a weekend.

Shouldn't the Latin go first? It's supposed to have primacy of place, after all, Francis. ;)

kath hmeron--every day. every day. every day.

"really. Really?"
Not sure what the objection is.
I thought Mary Ann was recounting things she had seen firsthand.

Haha, poor choice of words. But I think you know what I mean. She is talking about people she knows.

Yup, that's the life experience that has been told to me, several times. Someone gets into a subculture, makes friendships exclusively within that subculture, then converts to Catholicism and has to start making friendships from nothing.
Not sure what the objection is, either.

I get that, Charles, and agree about getting out of the bubble from time to time, whatever it is. I think it's fun and interesting to have lots of kinds of friends.

The snippet Mark referenced was specifically about one subculture that centers around the homosexual lifestyle, and how in the experience of my friends, as they told their stories, it didn't mix with their conversion to Chritianity. I will also say that in four cases I witnessed the rejection from former friends that they went through firsthand.

Yup, agreed