V1, line 3: s/and/who/
V3, line 2: isn't a "not" missing here?
"And who in him have kept faith" doesn't exactly trip off the tongue.
A couple of minor adjustments to the text
By faith in Him we/you have life, yet even though we/you die.
"Through faith in Me you have life, yet even though you die."
"I am the resurrection," he said, "the Life am I."
And all believing in Him, not one of them shall die.
For those who trust our savior, who call upon the Lord,
all they who live for Jesus shall find a sure reward.
Did you consider beginning verse 2 with "I know that my Redeemer lives"? Metrically, it seems to fit well.
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