A needed, funny, true little vignette
  • melofluentmelofluent
    Posts: 4,160
    Okay, picture this.
    Monday afternoon, post-Sunday after having suffered the loss of some key music personnel at church.
    On the phone with one of our accompanists while working out coverage for the immediate coming Sundays and into the future.
    Doorbell rings. Huh? Mid-afternoon, no one but FedEx/UPS ever knocks on the door before leaving package and trotting off. Someone's actually at the exterior of my front door. And my two French Bulldogs are at the interior of the front door panting to see "Who's there-er-er?"
    I ask my accompanist to be excused, crack the door open as I have a phone occupying one hand, and it's apparently: two female evangelists. Can't see 'em really, but one is clearly ethnically East Indian.
    "Good afternoon, ladies, how can I help you (I have dogs here.)
    "Are you interested in having everlasting life?" says the East Indian, confirming my initial presumption.
    "Ladies, do you see the sign above the threshold of my door?" (A ROMAN CATHOLIC HOME) it proclaims.
    "Uh, yes, but our message will benefit all who are interested in improving their lives." (Dog's really want to greet the missioners, they're really sweet.)
    "Ladies, I'd be happy to let you in as soon as I can, but you need to know that by the end of our talk you will want to be received into the Roman Catholic Church!"
    "Uh, Thank you, b'bye."
    Return to phone call. My accompanist is ROTFLHAO!
    Your day breaks, your mind aches......
    Thanked by 2Spriggo CHGiffen
  • JulieCollJulieColl
    Posts: 2,465
    I should get a sign like that, too, but somehow I think that would make the Jehovah's Witnesses target me even more than they do now. Do you have any pictures of your bulldogs? What are their names?

    P.S. My next-door neighbor has two bulldogs, too---Mabel and Lucy. Lucy is really high-octane, but so lovable.
  • MaryAnn Carr WilsonMaryAnn Carr Wilson
    Posts: 1,738
    Love it!! Someone buy that man a cape.
  • matthewjmatthewj
    Posts: 2,700
    I've never had anyone come to my door to convert me.

    I feel so rejected...
  • melofluentmelofluent
    Posts: 4,160
    Mat-tieux,
    It is a sign from the Lord: "Don't mess with this Canadian, he's charismatic."
    I'm attempting to attach a pic, Julie.image
    Marie Antoinette and Charlemagne de Harlequin, at THE door. Terrifying.
    (Mimi and Charley)

    mimicharley.jpg
    1280 x 960 - 368K
    Thanked by 3JulieColl expeditus1 Daniel Bennett Page
  • matthewjmatthewj
    Posts: 2,700
    I dislike dogs, but those are awfully cute.
    Thanked by 2CharlesW Andrew Motyka
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 11,985
    Dogs are like cats and children. They are cute, but I don't want them in my house!
  • francis
    Posts: 10,848
    I invite JWs and Mormons INTO my living room whenever they appear. They always get a lesson on the Eucharist from the Gospel of John. The Mormons usually have never heard of the Eucharist.
  • TCJ
    Posts: 990
    I've known family members who spend time discussing with them, but my personal approach is to get them to move on as fast as possible. The last time a couple came to my door...

    Me (before they could say anything): "Are you Jehovah's Witnesses?"

    Them (with a grin): "No, we're not. We're Mormons!"

    Me: "Still not interested."

    Them: "Uh... well, have a nice day."
  • irishtenoririshtenor
    Posts: 1,333
    @matthewj -- https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pmBbzNYkh8Y
  • irishtenoririshtenor
    Posts: 1,333
    I don't think I embedded that properly...
  • JulieCollJulieColl
    Posts: 2,465
    Thanks for the pic! Tres charmants! What good little buddies, and I'm sure they are very credible watchdogs in their own way. : )

    Francis, that reminds me of the time I patiently tried to explain the Holy Eucharist to the Jehovah's Witnesses, and when I turned to John 6:51 in my bible as my big climax, I was stunned to find that particular page had been ripped out. Very strange, and when I tried to find the same verse in their weird bibles (have you ever looked at one of them?) it was completely different of course so I couldn't make the point.
  • ClergetKubiszClergetKubisz
    Posts: 1,912
    A friend of mine was stopped by a couple of Mormons on a college campus once. He told them they had exactly 30 seconds to talk before he walked away. They didn't make it through their spiel.
  • ClergetKubiszClergetKubisz
    Posts: 1,912
    Oh and a priest I once knew had some JWs come to his door and ask him "have you been saved?" Not entirely sure they knew to whom they were speaking.
  • Liam
    Posts: 5,116
    I like Frenchies. I had a Boston. (Sigh.)

    Anyway, my neighborhood in suburban LI in the 1970s at times crawled with JW's on Saturdays, it seems. The neighborhood was probably 60% Catholic, 20% Jewish, 20% Protestant. We Kathlicks seemed like easy pickings. Except for my home. My father, good German Catholic that he was, was raised to read the Bible, and so did his children. (Not for memorization, though.) Anyway, the JWs learned to approach our house warily, because we could argue Scripture. I liked to ask them on whose authority they based their (rather selectively edited/translated) Bible, which could eventually tie them in knots if they fell for it.
  • canadashcanadash
    Posts: 1,501
    I think this blog entry by my friend, Catholic writer/speaker Patrick Sullivan, is apropos to this thread. He just happened to write it yesterday.

    http://patricksullivan.ca/2013/11/jehovah-witness-right/
  • francis
    Posts: 10,848
    Canadash

    Yes. We cannot be Catholic in name only. We have to do the works that Christ asks of us. And WE must defend the Church at every turn, her teachings, ethics and morals no matter the cost.
    Thanked by 1canadash
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    Every minute you spend letting JW's or Mormons try to convert you (who will not be moved) is one less minute they have available for spreading their (well-meaning, of course) lies to people who may actually be convinced.

    These are not merely salespeople who annoy. They are kind, caring, wonderful people with zeal and passion who have, through no fault of their own other than the sin that is common to all of us, become convinced of something which is it at best simply wrong and quite possibly diabolic in origin.

    But just think of how wonderful that energy, that evangelistic nature, and that zeal would be in service of the Truth.

    We really should give these people as much of our time as we have available- for their sakes, the good of the church, and the protection of the people further down on their walk-list.
    Thanked by 3hilluminar JulieColl Andrew Motyka
  • ClemensRomanusClemensRomanus
    Posts: 1,023
    I invited some JW's in once and, after a lively debate, they vowed to return with more knowledgable members who would have answers to my arguments. They never came back.
  • JulieCollJulieColl
    Posts: 2,465
    Thanks for that thought, Adam. I feel guilty now. I've been assiduously avoiding my JW ladies for a couple of months now, but maybe I'll spend some a little time with them the next time they come around. The same two ladies have been coming to my house twice a month for about five years. They only stop at my house, and if I don't answer the bell they drive away. It's kind of pathetic, really.

    I think it may be because I'm the only stay-at-home mom for blocks around, or could it be the statue of Mary in the front yard? I don't know. One of them is an ex-Catholic and she told me once she used to say the Rosary every day until she was converted by the Watchtower crowd.
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 11,985
    I tell the Mormons that I can't accept Joseph Smith as a prophet, and that it is clear to me that he made it all up. With the JWs, relating events from the life and craziness of Charles Taze Russell seems to shock them.

    What really gets my attention, though, is what a poor job of religious instruction the Catholic Church is doing in many places, which causes Catholics to leave and join either of those groups. I think many of those converts are looking for community. Too often, Catholicism is just showing up for mass - the be all, and end all of existence - then going home with nothing else.

  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    What really gets my attention, though, is what a poor job of religious instruction the Catholic Church is doing in many places, which causes Catholics to leave and join either of those groups.


    At the parish I grew up in we have a non-denom mega-church down the street, and many people have swam the Styx in that direction. When asked why, the most common response is something along the lines of "They really teach the Bible over there."
  • JulieCollJulieColl
    Posts: 2,465
    Yep. One more generation of low-information Catholics and it's doubtful the Catholic faith will survive in some parts of the U.S.

    A priest recently told me that when he says funeral Masses at his parish, there is silence from the congregation even though there are a lot of people there (this is at the OF, mind you) because the people never go to Mass and don't how to answer the prayers of the priest.

    The latest troubling trend now at funeral masses is that when he asks the people to kneel during the Eucharistic Prayer they just stare at him and remain seated.
  • Mad_Dan_EcclesMad_Dan_Eccles
    Posts: 51
    My father's approach to door knocking missionaries was to gently explain that he was a enavgelical devil worshipper, and he'd be delighted to read their material provided they would read his first.

    We didn't get many folks coming round much after the first few visits - there must be some sort of secret missionary signs like those used by tramps to warn others of dogs and dark haired men with pointy beards.
  • Steve QSteve Q
    Posts: 121
    I always keep handy a few copies of Pillar of Fire, Pillar of Truth from Catholic Answers. When a missionary comes to the door, I give them the booklet with the promise that I will read their material if they will read mine.
    Thanked by 3Andrew_Malton JulieColl francis
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