Wedding: song at kiss of peace?
  • AngelaRAngelaR
    Posts: 319
    Dear friends, I have an urgent wedding question. My bride has taken out the presentation to Mary for her wedding tomorrow, and is not having a Mass said. Her family is insisting that the Ave Maria we had chosen for the presentation now be sung at the Kiss of Peace. I keep insisting it is not liturgically appropriate. Can someone point me to the music guidelines for a wedding without a Mass? I can tell this situation is going to get ugly for me, and need some backup.
  • In a wedding outside of Mass, I don't think there is a Kiss of Peace at all. Problem solved.
    Thanked by 2ClergetKubisz BruceL
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    taken out the presentation to Mary

    Is that an official part of the Marriage Rite?

    Thanked by 1ClergetKubisz
  • AngelaRAngelaR
    Posts: 319
    I don't have a copy of the actual rubrics for a wedding. Are those online anywhere? The presentation is sometimes done, sometimes not at my parish.
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    I don't have a copy of the actual rubrics for a wedding.


    I think I found the problem.

    To avoid these sort of issue in the future, that might be something you want to get a hold of (in print) and memorize.

    The Rites: Volume 1 - Liturgical Press
  • PaixGioiaAmorPaixGioiaAmor
    Posts: 1,473
    I would just do it.

    They do this sort of thing everywhere, including the cathedrals of some of the most conservative bishops in the country.
    Thanked by 1Adam Wood
  • AngelaRAngelaR
    Posts: 319
    You mean they do the Ave Maria at the Kiss of Peace?
  • AngelaRAngelaR
    Posts: 319
    Adam, your link takes me to a blank page.
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 11,979
    This is not a hill I would die fighting on. Even if you win, you may lose. There is no mass, just a ceremony. I would do the Ave Maria and move on.
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    Adam, your link takes me to a blank page.

    fixed
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    (It's really hard to make claims about the liturgical appropriateness of one thing or another if you haven't read and fully familiarized yourself with the actual texts of the Rite itself. For example: what types of song would be appropriate during the lighting of the unity candle?)
    Thanked by 2Spriggo Gavin
  • chonakchonak
    Posts: 9,216
    if this were being done during Mass, it would be a big mistake to stretch out the Peace to several minutes while the Ave was sung. Here, I'm not sure.
    Can you take this question to the priest and get his up-or-down on it?
  • AngelaRAngelaR
    Posts: 319
    Thanks for the insights. My parish has a history of throwing its weight around, and it is a visiting priest who is celebrating the Mass. My pastor is extraordinarily busy and often unavailable. I'm still new in this position. I've been walked all over in previous situations here so this is a sensitive topic to me.
  • Ally
    Posts: 227
    I'd have to agree with CharlesW. You might try to propose a different piece, if you really feel compelled to, but I wouldn't get too bent out of shape over this particular scenario.

    On the other hand, ask your priest: if he says yes, you can be obedient and not worry about it, if he says no you have the backing that you were looking for. Either way, then its out of your hands and settled. Sort of nice then.

    EDIT: Maybe you could call the visiting priest? I have done that, or they have called me about certain things. Or maybe don't worry since you're new there, and later when you and he have time, come up with a brief and simple policy about these things with your pastor.
  • AngelaRAngelaR
    Posts: 319
    Thanks so much. These insights are very helpful. Definitely planning to formulate a policy for the future.
  • BenBen
    Posts: 3,114
    The whole idea that people get to plan the whole wedding always bugs me. Seriously: it's a public liturgy of the church. It's not yours to plan. It's yours to celebrate faithfully according to the books.
  • You're right, Ben, and it's an argument I would love to make, too. It's just not worth it. It's sad, but for now, it's something of a "no-go" area in most parishes. The best we can do is make small improvements over a long time.
    Thanked by 2Spriggo Ben
  • PaixGioiaAmorPaixGioiaAmor
    Posts: 1,473
    You know, it's true to a point. But when priests stop planning their ordinations, I'll start insisting couples stop planning theirs.
  • BenBen
    Posts: 3,114
    Maybe I'm just lucky around here that the ordinations aren't overly planned, and are pretty much the same every time.
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    are pretty much the same every time.


    but that's so ritualistic...
  • melofluentmelofluent
    Posts: 4,160
    Well, Adam and Ben, y'all can cling to each and EVERY principle printed in black to your young hearts' content, but ChazW and ChazCA have 45 and 43 annums of real time experience with every sort of wedding travesties people can dream of, and CW is right, this is not a hill to die on. And pressing the issue to folks who are even minimally involved but litugically ignorant willfully with liturgical proprieties not only might be counterproductive, but is a fairly petulant manner by which one evangelizes.
    Thanked by 2CharlesW Gavin
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    There are so few hills I would die on.
    But lots of hills I would blog about or bemoan in online fora.
    Thanked by 2Gavin Andrew Motyka
  • melofluentmelofluent
    Posts: 4,160
    Bemoan away. I don't believe in global warming anyway.
    Thanked by 1Adam Wood
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    Also- even if you don't care to be an enforcer, I should still think you should know what the Rite actually says.
    Thanked by 1melofluent
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    Bemoan away. I don't believe in global warming anyway.


    I'll pray for you at the next Earth-Consciousness Rosary. We're praying The Social Mysteries this week.
    Thanked by 3melofluent Gavin Ben
  • melofluentmelofluent
    Posts: 4,160
    Be sure to add the Copts of Egypt then as they're headed for a 21st c. Passover by the Islamic Brotherhood over there.
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 11,979
    The Copts have suffered greatly at the hands of those peaceful Muslims. Global warming? Only when Al Gore opens his mouth. Maybe another little ice age will chill his skivvies. But do pray for the Copts, they need it!
    Thanked by 1Gavin
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    I'll make sure I add all these concerns to the Agnus Dei announcements tropes this Sunday.
  • BenBen
    Posts: 3,114

    Well, Adam and Ben, y'all can cling to each and EVERY principle printed in black to your young hearts' content, but ChazW and ChazCA have 45 and 43 annums of real time experience with every sort of wedding travesties people can dream of, and CW is right, this is not a hill to die on. And pressing the issue to folks who are even minimally involved but litugically ignorant willfully with liturgical proprieties not only might be counterproductive, but is a fairly petulant manner by which one evangelizes.


    Oh, I'm not saying it's a hill to die on. I'm just ranting.
    Thanked by 1melofluent
  • BenBen
    Posts: 3,114
    Jesus, help the Copts, you take away the sins of the world. Have mercy on us.
    Jesus, save the trees, you take away the sins of the world. Have mercy on us.
    Jesus, cool the earth, you take away the sins of the world. Grant us peace.
    Thanked by 1Adam Wood
  • BenBen
    Posts: 3,114
    One of these tropes are not like the others.
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    Name mercy on us.

    I assume that is an autocorrect problem, but it is SO MUCH LIKE a new-age invocation. So much.
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    Also, everyone knows Agnus Dei agit-props tropes have to be mildly-christological noun-titles.

    Jesus, lover of plants, etc...
    Jesus, prince of offsets, etc...
    Jesus, capper and trader, etc...
  • BenBen
    Posts: 3,114
    Savior of the trees....
    Cooler of the earth....
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    There you go.
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this conversation is getting less and less useful....
    Thanked by 1Ben
  • BenBen
    Posts: 3,114
    Ya think?
  • AngelaRAngelaR
    Posts: 319
    Lol.
  • JulieCollJulieColl
    Posts: 2,465
    After listening to a sermon by a Fraternity of St. Peter priest the other day, I find that my perspective on liturgical matters such as this discussion over the marriage rite has dramatically changed.

    The priest was explaining how the rubrics of the traditional rite involve a moral dimension. The older Missal is clear that when a priest violates some points of the rubrics, he commits a sin, sometimes even a mortal sin if it involves serious things, like changing the words of consecration, etc.

    However, in the new form of the Roman rite, it's amazing to see the difference: not only is disregarding the rubrics apparently not sinful--- it would seem that it's often the case that if you DON'T disobey the rubrics you actually risk losing your position as music director or musician.
    Thanked by 3CHGiffen Ally Gavin
  • ClergetKubiszClergetKubisz
    Posts: 1,912
    @Julie: that's interesting. I've never actually thought about that before, I've kinda just done what was traditional in our parish.

    To address the question:

    I would say that it would not be liturgically appropriate to have any other song than the Agnus Dei during the kiss of peace when a Mass is celebrated. However, outside of it being a Mass, there are two things: 1. I don't think there will be a Kiss of Peace if it is not a Mass, and 2. Even if there is, there is no precedent with which I am aware for which song should be sung at a Kiss of Peace (if it's even allowed) outside of Mass.

    The short answer: you're probably ok doing Ave Maria at that time, unless you have some other objection to doing so.
  • JulieCollJulieColl
    Posts: 2,465
    Yes, it was eye-opening for me, too, and it "ups the ante" a little bit if you're involved in the music at the EF. Of course, most of the time I imagine the occasions where you might knowingly and deliberately violate the rubrics at an EF Mass are seldom indeed.

    However, a few years ago my husband and I were part of the schola at a TLM where the elderly celebrant would direct us to drop the Kyrie and Gloria if he was planning an extra-long sermon that day. He would come up to the choir loft and tell us which part of the Mass to eliminate every Sunday. (!) We were of course very uncomfortable with the situation and tried without success to explain that you don't have any "options" like that in the Usus Antiquior. Shortly after that, the dear fellow had to go on medical leave so, thankfully, that situation ended since it was becoming a real moral crisis for our schola.

    BTW, upon further research, contrary to what I wrote above, I've discovered that it is always objectively a mortal sin for a priest to violate the rubrics of the Usus Antiquior, and there is actually an old saying that “You could commit twenty-six mortal sins in the sacristy alone by not complying with the rubrics.”
  • Richard MixRichard Mix
    Posts: 2,798
    Angela M:
    Dear friends, I have an urgent wedding question. My bride has...


    One of the many new mannerisms I've acquired since becoming a pet rabbit owner is a violent side to side head-shaking (minus floppy ears) when confronted with anything that is surprising or confusing at first glance.
    Thanked by 2CHGiffen Adam Wood
  • Earl_GreyEarl_Grey
    Posts: 904
    The Kiss of Peace is not part of the Rite of Marriage when celebrated outside of Mass, but oftentimes the celebrant will add it--just like how they cut the Gloria when it is prescribed for the Ritual Mass.

    When couples and presiders choose to extend the kiss of peace at a wedding so that everyone in the bridal party can get a flower or something, I would typically just improvise some soft organ music to segue into the Lamb of God once the fraction rite actually begins. If it's not a Mass and the Kiss of Peace is given anyways (just for the hell of it) I would normally let it go without any incidental music.

    As for the real question at hand, "when to sing Ave Maria." I find it works best as a prelude, particularly when the mothers are being seating, prior to the processional.

    Even when a presentation to the BVM is done within the context of the Rite (regardless of whether or not it part of Mass, and no, the presentation is not part of the Rite, nor is the unity candle) an Ave (presumably Schubert) is much too long to be practical.

    Perhaps one of the Marian Antiphons, or the Gregorian Ave, or part of the Magnificat, but overall I find instrumental music works best to accompany these extra-liturgical actions. Perhaps if everyone sang a Marian hymn to invoke her intercession for the marriage, that might work, but I find a vocal solo places the focus on the performance and not the action at hand.

    Similarly if a unity candle is used (and it should be discouraged as much as pastorally possible) again instrumental incidental music works best as opposed to a vocal solo which inevitably lasts longer than the 30 seconds it takes to light a candle and return to one's seat.

    On a side note, has anyone effectively had the congregation sing the optional acclamation following the vows? Kind of like many such random acclamations in the RICA--it might look good on paper, but in practice it just doesn't work, unless the entire congregation shows up to a choir rehearsal.
  • ronkrisman
    Posts: 1,394
    The Apostolic See published a revised Latin edition of the Ordo Celebrandi Matrimonium in 1990. Twenty-three years have passed, and there still is no approved English translation.

    However, many priests, deacons and lay persons authorized to preside at weddings are observing the changes in liturgical law which occured with the 1990 edition, and some have even introduced some of the ritual changes in that editio typica altera, even though the English translation is still in a "holding pattern." One significant change is the ad libitum addition of the rite of holy communion at marriages outside Mass (except when at least one of the two spouses is either a catechumen or is unbaptized).

    The ritual texts for that rite of holy communion are included in the two chapters which now allow for that possibility. In both cases, the sign of peace is exchanged immediately after the Lord's prayer (there is no embolism or doxology). This is followed by the minister saying the usual invitation to holy communion: "Behold, the Lamb of God..." followed by the assembly's response. There is no Agnus Dei (since that is a litany to accompany the fractio panis, and there is no fraction rite for consecrated hosts taken from the tabernacle).
    Thanked by 2Earl_Grey Adam Wood