Verse for Clare of Assisi
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    For those of you who keep a repository of Saint-specific verses for "By all Your Saints in Warfare" (et al)...

    All praise for Clare our sister,
    Your saint and servant true,
    Whose rule of life and order
    Still points the way to You.
    Free us, Lord, from corruption,
    fit us for Your embrace,
    and make us poor in spirit
    but rich in Love's own grace.

    -----
    CC:BY, Adam Wood
  • matthewjmatthewj
    Posts: 2,700
    Thank you kindly.
    Thanked by 1Adam Wood
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    Sorry, I need to amend the copyright notice...

    CC:BY, free for all except Matthew J. Meloche, who owes me a drink.
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    Should it be "point" in the 4th line, to agree with the plural (rule and order?)
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    I had thought it was a rule, which guided both life and order, as opposed to a rule of life and, separate from that, an order.
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    I see. I thought you were referring to the 2nd order of Franciscans.
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    Ah- yes, sort of- only by pun, though.
    (cf. line 5 as well)

    Though I certainly don't mind it being edited either way.
  • Fr. Jim Chepponis
    Posts: 220
    Adam,

    It's good to have another saint stanza for this hymn. Thanks.

    I like the first half of your stanza (or is it technically the first verse of the stanza?!)

    On the second half, I understand the "poor in spirit" reference, but I'm curious about your inspiration for some of the other images in this half.
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    "Free us, Lord, from corruption" is a sort of play on the fact that her body was (for a time) thought to be incorruptible, along with the notion that she sought to keep her order pure (and purely Franciscan) against the (I think she would have thought) corrupting influence of prelates. The fact that she is the Patron Saint of the most corrupting of all modern technologies (the television) is an added bonus.

    The notion that being made free of corruption makes one "fit" for God's embrace is a combination of thoughts: saints which are incorruptible are only so in death (a form of God's embrace), and also (in my thinking) the whole point of salvation and grace and all that great stuff is to make us worthy to be with God, as the Old Testament says, "You shall be holy as I Am holy."

    "Rich" is, of course, a reverse of poor. I had thought- if we are to cultivate poverty of spirit, what, then, are we "rich" in? Grace, love, holiness. Etc.

    And don't underestimate the attractiveness of the easy rhyme in 6 and 8.
    Thanked by 3Fr. Jim Chepponis Kathy CHGiffen
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    While I'm on record as not caring a trifle about the meter of the first foot of a line, I wonder if lines 5 and 6 go a bit far. 2 trochees, both with "us" as the second word, and line 5 having a trochee for the second foot, too.
    Thanked by 1CHGiffen
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    I'm open to suggestions.
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    Lots of ways to go. Are you wedded to all the images and puns as they are? If so:

    Lord, free us from corruption,
    fit us for Your embrace,
    Thanked by 2Adam Wood CHGiffen
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    Just a nip and tuck, fwiw...
  • Fr. Jim Chepponis
    Posts: 220
    Adam,

    Like Kathy, I was also thinking about lines 5 & 6, but for a different reason:

    The tune for "By All Your Saints Still Striving" that is printed in many recent hymnals is ST. THEODULPH (although I've also heard the text sung to KING'S LYNN, AURELIA, and ELLACOMBE).

    With that in mind, I wonder if it would be better on line 5 to have the word "free" on a strong beat rather than the word "us" (per Kathy's suggestion: "Lord, free us from corruption").

    But on the other hand... perhaps you want the word "us" to be on a strong beat, e.g., St. Clare was free of corruption, so we ask the Lord to free US as well.

    The same question might be raised about the "us" in line 6. I guess it depends on what you really want to emphasize.
    Thanked by 2SkirpR CHGiffen
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    Fr. Chepponis, you and I are actually talking about the same thing :)
    Thanked by 1CHGiffen
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    Are you wedded to all the images and puns as they are?

    Never, but I do think that's where the value of the text is.

    Lord, free us from corruption,
    fit us for Your embrace,


    This I like better than my original word order.

    I had copied down a handful of other saint-specific verses as a study before working on this one, and many started line 5 with some invocation like, "May we..." - so I think I just naturally put that pronoun in second syllable without thinking about it enough.

    The tune for "By All Your Saints Still Striving" that is printed in many recent hymnals is ST. THEODULPH (although I've also heard the text sung to KING'S LYNN, AURELIA, and ELLACOMBE).


    I cannot remember which tune name is which, but the only setting of this hymn I know is the one in The Hymnal 1982, so that's the one I was humming while I was writing. It strikes me that in that tune (whichever it is), the first foot of lines 5 and 6 are not extraordinarily iambic, and I have a weird trochee fetish.

    I think KP's suggestion above (which fixes 5, but allows the trochee on 6-- or, conversely, allows an accent on "us") solves the problem.

    ----
    Aside:
    Kathy, your thoughtful critiques of my hymn work have been appreciated and inspiring for a few years now. Fr. Chepponis, I'm so very glad you have joined the fun.
    Thanked by 1CHGiffen
  • Fr. Jim Chepponis
    Posts: 220
    Kathy,

    How nice that we agree! (I must have misunderstood your comment.)
    Thanked by 1Kathy
  • Fr. Jim Chepponis
    Posts: 220
    Fr. Chepponis, I'm so very glad you have joined the fun.
    Thanks, Adam! I learn a lot from these kinds of discussions.

    Also, St. Clare is special to me for a number of reasons. Some years ago, I was commissioned to write a choir piece based on the writings of St. Clare, and I was with the group in Assisi as we premiered it at St. Clare's tomb. A very moving experience for me.

    If anyone is interested, the piece is called "The Mirror of Eternity." A snippet can be heard and viewed here:
    http://www.giamusic.com/product_search.cfm?criteria=the+mirror+of+eternity&search_button.x=0&search_button.y=0&search_button=submit
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    I learn a lot from these kinds of discussions.

    As do I.

    St. Clare is special to me for a number of reasons.


    Well- since I wrote this "on commission" (MJM, I like expensive rum), I did not have the benefit of a personal connection. I hope I "did right" by St. Clare and those with a devotion to her.
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    If anyone is interested, the piece is called "The Mirror of Eternity."


    I LIKE IT.
    ----
    Edit: On further reflection, I really like it.
    Thanked by 1Fr. Jim Chepponis
  • chonakchonak
    Posts: 9,216
    Do you think you could work her role as patroness of teevee into it?
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    All praise for Claire most holy
    the patron of teevee,
    of schoolhouse rock and mad men
    and all that lies betwee...
    Thanked by 3Ben CHGiffen MHI
  • chonakchonak
    Posts: 9,216
    ...
    God grant us distant vision
    to see afar His face
    and join us to His network
    of charity and grace.
    Thanked by 4Kathy Ben CHGiffen MHI
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    Word.
    Thanked by 1Ben
  • MHIMHI
    Posts: 324
    .
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    Fr. Chepponis, I'm sure we agree on many things. However, having pegged me as a reactionary, you might not be ready to see this.
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    I actually was seriously considering a way to work the TV + bright/clear stuff in before reading the last several posts. Here's what I came up with as a replacement for the second half...

    Lord free us from corruption,
    and give us vision [ clear / bright ]
    to see your distant something
    and something something [ near / here / fear || light / sight ]

    It's a work in progress

    (ok i know that looks silly, but that's basically a representation of how my brain is working as I work through this sort of thing)

    If anyone wants to run with it, feel free.
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    or maybe put sight at the end of the 2nd line here (6th line of the stanza or verse or collection of verses)
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    Lord free us from corruption
    and give us perfect sight
    to see and serve your people
    and walk in grace's light.

    hrm... not great... and all notion of poverty is lost....
  • MHIMHI
    Posts: 324
    .
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    Well, you know- I could write a WHOLE HYMN for St. Clare, but I was just asked for a single verse stanza...
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    All praise for Claire, bright shining.
    When we were in a fix.
    She drove the heathen backwards
    by carrying a pyx...
    Thanked by 7SkirpR Spriggo Adam Wood CHGiffen Ben MHI chonak
  • matthewjmatthewj
    Posts: 2,700
    If you want to write a whole hymn, I'd gladly steal that also.
  • mrcoppermrcopper
    Posts: 653
    I don't know why but your words reminded me of this old text by Edward Plumptre:

    Thine arm, O Lord, in days of old, was strong to heal and save;
    It triumphed o’er disease and death, o’er darkness and the grave.
    To Thee they went, the blind, the dumb, the palsied and the lame,
    The leper with his tainted life, the sick with fevered frame.

    And lo! Thy touch brought life and health, gave speech, and strength and sight;
    And youth renewed and fear relieved owned Thee, the Lord of light;
    And now, O Lord, be near to bless, Almighty as of yore,
    In crowded street, by restless couch, as by Gennesaret’s shore.

    Be Thou our great Deliverer still, Thou Lord of life and death;
    Restore and quicken, soothe and bless, with Thine almighty breath.
    To hands that work and eyes that see, give wisdom’s heavenly lore,
    That whole and sick, and weak and strong, may praise Thee evermore.
    Thanked by 1CHGiffen
  • chonakchonak
    Posts: 9,216
    Well, I did like that "distant vision" = tele-vision.
  • chonakchonak
    Posts: 9,216
    (appending to Kathy's lines:)

    ...as she upheld the Savior,
    His glance o'ertook the mean,
    but may it bring us favor
    and faith in Him unseen.
  • MHIMHI
    Posts: 324
    .
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