The Worship hymnals had been replaced by boxes of beef broth.
A mysterious reference to Paschaltide:
O Holy Spirit, by whose broth Are fed the souls that have been both Reborn by water and your fire, Inflame in us divine desire That in a higher land than this We may obtain salvation's bliss; That, newly born, we seek the good Of wholesome milk and meaty food.
I had an anxiety dream just the other afternoon (I work third shift currently):
I was sitting in at an Orthodox Divine Liturgy, and there's a girl singing in the choir that I fancy. So I approach her and start talking to her. Suddenly another gentlemen comes up with a box of video game cartridges and asks me to deliver them somewhere. I ask Baboushka if she wants to come; she says sure. So we drive in my pick-up truck from high school through Level 1 of Mario Bros. (?) She gets a call from her mother on the phone whilst I'm dodging Goombas and such. I tell her I'm going to drop her off, but she's insistent, telling her mother that she's going to the depot with "Frederick Stolichnaya" -- I suddenly remember that I've given her a pseudonym, and an embarrassing one at that.
So we arrive at the depot, I turn and confront her that my name isn't really Fred at all; it's - but then I embrace her, and right before she kisses me, the last words I hear her say are "We have met the enemy, and he is ours." Then I wake up.
Those who know me personally will know why this type of dream scares the bejeesus out of me.
I had one where we were singing Propers from the Graduale Simplex for the first three weeks of Advent, then on the 4th Sunday, the priest comes up to me very sternly, sticks his ruddy finger in my face and hisses, "Absolutely NO LATIN this morning!" ...wait, that actually happened.
I once had a dream that I was an acrobat for a Solemn High Pontifical Mass in the Extraordinary Form. Among my duties was the Gospel Human Pyramid, which (of course) included holding lit candles.
The nightmare part? I didn't have the correct shoes, and had to perform my ministry with bare feet.
I once dreamed/nightmared that I'd accidentally booked 25 operatic tenors for a choir that has one soprano, one alto and one bass to go with it. Considering the shortage of choral tenors in Melbourne I do absolutely fear this happening cos I call around that number of operatic tenors in a desperate attempt to find one choral tenor.
I actually just found this site because of this discussion! I have a constantly recurring dream, and have had it for years. Each dream is a bit different, but the common thread is that I am at an unfamiliar organ in an unfamiliar church and some problem, or maybe even interference, keeps stopping me from playing. I have a panic attack which usually wakes me up. I laughed a bit when I noticed other comments that the dream is all too close to reality, and/or that reality often is worse even than the dreams, as of course we all have had odd things happen beyond our control, and somehow, we get through it.
I am looking forward to reading through all of your dreams, as they make me feel less alone in this! Nothing really is more lonely than being the one person who has to make the music happen in proper order, etc. I have a few couples who sing with me when they are at that Mass, but I do not have a choir, and I usually also do the cantoring, and lead the singing, with a swing mic beside the organ.
Priests are not always very accommodating or seem concerned about it. I can only imagine how they must feel, knowing they must rely on this lay person to keep the Mass going and not to play or sing something hideous. LOL! Currently, we have a priest who enjoys the music, and even makes requests sometimes. It is always so much nicer when we have a good working relationship with our priests. Thank you for letting me join the discussion, as I think it will help me work out my dream situation. :)
I once dreamed that I was playing for a German Lutheran church and there was a guest soloist playing the saw. Wait a minute... that really happened! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bpd3p8tJazs
I dreamed that I arrived to school to find my most troublesome concert choir student being paraded around the hall on the shoulders of my choir class, with my best singers in front, clearing the way and singing, "Here he comes, [Name here]..."
That and the time that I dreamed that I forgot to turn on the blower before the opening hymn, and when I put my hands down, nothing happened. Then I turned the blower on and, after an awkward wait for it to spool, tried again, only to find that there was not yet enough wind pressure and all that the organ would do was kind of a half-hearted wheeze that gradually fell in tune as I finished the introduction and the chest filled.
Enjoying the stories that really happened, which is of course why the dreams happen!
So here's a true story: 8th grade graduation mass, my twins were graduating, so we got a parents choir together to save space. We chose "Gather Us In" for Presentation of Gifts, and planned to do all 4 verses. The Priest came down in front, stood in front of the choir during the 2nd verse and made the "cut" sign to tell us to stop singing! There was no collection, and he didn't want to hear it. We stopped and he went back up to the altar!
My nightmare is coming true. Mass in 14 hours, currently no choir to sing apart from myself. Plus playing an electronic organ where I cannot see the altar from. PLUS thunderstorm asthma! My hopes of singing this thing solo is pretty much ridiculous.
Last night I dreamt that there was a particular motet or chant that was proper to the Sunday, and I was very eager to sing it in its liturgical context. So I made phone calls and sent emails all week, trying to find any parish in the area where this piece might be sung. It was fruitless.
I'm not a keyboardist, but I recall a dream where I was the organist for Mass and the pedals were illusory - I'd reach my feet for them, but wouldn't hit anything solid, and then I'd start sliding down into the nothingness beneath them.
Part of the choir showed up during the Gloria. The basses were off on entrances and cutoffs. The sopranos were dragging the tempo down. The diva soprano didn't have her music ready because she was sharing her soap opera life with those around her. I ran out of anthem copies because the tenor "hoarder" had 5 copies in his folder. The chilly alto, who would think it cold in hell, was complaining about the temperature. The deaf bass who can't sing was too proud to wear a hearing aid. Not a single word sung by the basses was understood by anyone.
I had a dream last Saturday I was meeting at choir practice with an associate of mine to plan music for an upcoming mass. Then I woke up. And realized that I needed to go to choir practice and plan music for an upcoming mass. There's just no getting away from it!
Nightmare come true. One Sunday I stacked the music rack a bit too deep with books and hymnals. Sure enough in the middle of the opening song my hymnal fell off and enthusiastically splatted on each manual of the organ, completing its gravitational journey with an accented pedal "womp." To say the least there was some confusion amongst the singing congregants.
My recurring dream is that it’s Sunday and I’ve just arrived at one of the churches I currently serve, or a past church – one I know well – and, having played the Saturday liturgy just hours ago, I find everything completely changed.
The building and congregation are the same, but overnight, a new instrument and a new pastor have been installed, and I’m the only one who’s surprised.
This is terrifying in the moment.
Some variations: -Instead of playing a Lutheran Eucharist on a Rodgers in the loft, I find myself at an EF Missa Cantata celebrated by an Episcopalian, playing an early EM Skinner in the chancel, with a local gay men’s chorus singing the Duruflé Missa cum jubilo as the Ordinary. -Instead of my usual 7a low mass with organ, I find a ‘28 BCP evensong being celebrated in a Catholic Church at 7am, and I am to play the piano while a Lutheran officiates. -Instead of NO High Mass, I find a free-form Pentecostal service with Gospel choir, being led by no one but the Spirit, and so on.
These are hilarious! Thanks for the much needed laughs. They are sympathetic laughs!!
I've never had a music-related nightmare. The only very funny real life one I can think of:
We didn't have a regular organist, but for a major feast we managed to pool our own money and hire a really top notch organist. However, we didn't have access to an actual organ (very long story), so we were using someone's portable electronic keyboard. The kind with the folding legs that make an X.
Midway through something or other, probably the Gloria, the organist was dramatically playing away at the poor keyboard, which was trembling with each enthusiastic blow. Inevitably the flimsy music stand - loaded with spiral bound xerox copies of sheet music - gave way under the constant shaking, and the music books cascaded onto the keys and the organists lap.
Worse yet, on the way down the music books managed to hit all the buttons that turn on things like jazz saxophone and drum beats. The Church filled with a cacaphony of strange sounds. Being unfamiliar with the keyboard, the organist was in a tizzy trying to recapture the escaping sheet music and find the buttons to turn things off.
The very unexpected part: the schola continued singing without missing a note.
My recurring nightmare is that some how the route to the choir loft has been vastly expanded to become a maze of stairs and random rooms. One minute before Mass starts and I just can't get to the loft! Another dream is that I have completely forgotten how to read music or play the organ...which of course I don't realize until the opening hymn has been announced.
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