MT56,
I've read enough Richard Miller books and lived/taught all levels K-graduate school for 4 decades to simply say "totally tone deaf" is likely a symptom, not a diagnosis.
However, the symptom is not easily or conveniently remedied. It requires one on one time on a regular basis, and then as progress is achieved (which likely will happen, as true tone deaf amount to .001 of humans) integration with the same voice part (also part of the strategic process, recognizing when pitch is matched) will be incremental, depending upon each of your three guys. Having done this a few times with good natured and accepting male "prospects," it is incredibly rewarding when they "arrive" and instinctively demonstrate (to themselves more than anyone else) they can match pitch! I believe that mentors of such folk also get less time in purgatory.

I hear ya! Here's some ideas you may be already using.

What about making their participation in choir contingent upon one on one voice study with you or a voice teacher? This would include listening assignments. You could get sneaky and call it a new 'orientation program' you are now requiring to help new, inexperienced members catch up to the ensemble/team, and enhance their own choir offering.

If you get the idea they don't realize how off they are, record part of a private session/lesson and play it back to them. During the lesson, praise them for every matched pitch and pause for the bad ones, saying "let's do that again."

And I concur with Charles that tone-deafness is incredibly rare. Overwhelmingly, chances are they haven't found their voice for whatever reason.

Ask them to listen and follow the contour of the notes to everything in reh before singing it, too.

Check my thinking here. Is some of this caused by the trying to singing in a range they can not sing in. Maybe they are a Bass but are trying to sing a Soprano (melody) line. We had a gentleman in our choir who just couldn't seem to get the pitch. He was consistently a whole step low. He said he was a tenor so that is where we put him initially. After moving him to the basses and a little pitch work he quickly improved and was a wonderful bass. He really wanted to be a Tenor it just wasn't there for him.

Of all the good comments and suggestions above, Abott Coel's speaks to me the most. If three men, each whom you deem truly "tone deaf", have appeared in response to your petitions, it must truly be by the will of God that all of you have been called together to this particular time, place, and mission. I suspect their efforts and yours will be rewarded in an abundance of grace.

Dear Musicteacher56

God bless you and I will say a special prayer to Saint Gregory the Great, patron saint of singers and choir boys. All of the suggestions are good I just want to pass on a little story of hope.

4 years ago I was asked to work with our then 1st year theologate class as it was full of the "worst" singers in the seminary. I had 6 men of somewhat varying abilities from pretty bad to "stop singing you are giving scandal!" Indeed I worked with all of them multiple semesters in individual vocal instruction. As it turned out I taught the Deacons class this past spring their priestly chants and all of these men were in this class. When it came time for their final, a combination Mass practicum with the priest who taught them the Mass, he was very surprised at their ability to sing because of their reputation as poor singers. They all sang well, not great but in tune and pleasantly. The one who had the most trouble matching pitch when he first came to me did the best job! I had this independently confirmed last month when I sang a funeral at the church where he had celebrated his first Mass. Everyone including the choir director was impressed. I will say he practiced and listened quite a bit. It can be done. Most of the men who have trouble singing are just not used to singing or feel uncomfortable or embarrassed singing. If these 3 are friends or get along well you might work with them together, sometimes this is helpful, but I think one on one instruction is the best.

Good singers don't want to sing with bad singers any more than good athletes want to play with somebody that can't play the game. Good singers want to sing with other good singers, and will find each other and will even cross denominational lines to do so.

What gifts do you yourself bring to your larger municipal cultural community? Are you active in a local choral society? Do you have friends that you could recruit for an occasional schola, say, for Ash Wednesday? It's been my experience that recruitment should be absolutely intentional. The programs that are successful are based on the intentionality of their membership.

Someone that I admire greatly who really "gets" choir culture is John Bertalot. Granted, what he does needs to be modified to meet each parish setting, but with kindness, firmness, and a smile, you can get what you need and people will still respect you (the sports metaphors go a LONG way). http://www1.cpdl.org/wiki/index.php/John_Bertalot

Get active in a choral society and recruit from there.

Sorry for the long post, but I hope this is helpful!

In my experience, the reason people can't match pitch is because they do not have a reliable neural pathway established that allows them to hear pitches in their mind.

But first the spiritual dimension: Please don't throw any tomatoes at me for saying this, but, I also agree with Abbot Coel and will go even farther saying that the first and most important thing you must be concerned with has nothing to do with their singing/tone deafness or choral sound. I don't mean to sound like a spiritual snob, as we are spiritual companions - but your paths have crossed in order to help all of you to holiness. (crouching under the table now!) This is a GREAT cross, offered to you by that supreme purveyor of Great Crosses: the Holy Spirit.

From my own blunders, springs my hope! Yes, these guys will try your patience, but they came. GOD BLESS THEM! That was really hard, no doubt, for them to do.

You don't need me to tell you this, but for the sake of discussion, let's imagine their inner conversation: "Wow. The Choir Director needs men. Hey, I'm a man! Hmmm, if I'm a man, and I'm here at church trying to be a Christian, and I don't help, what kind of Christian am I? What kind of man am I? But I don't think I can sing. BUT - they need men and I can do that! But I'm embarrassed. Well, God? What should I do? (men, I'm told, think in a loop and generally return to #1) Ok, God, I'm a man and I will do the manly thing even if I make a fool of myself. Now, can I talk any other men into this?"

My sense is that this is more about their personal holiness, and yours, than their musical ability. Obviously this raises the stakes for you, dear Musicteacher 56.

Now, having said that, here are a few practical suggestions from my days as a grade school music teacher to help them develop the ability to a. hear pitches accurately in their head and b. sing them. (This works if all parties keep at it.)

You want to develop their sense of hearing first.

1. If they can't match pitch - they can't hear the pitch in their heads, so work on Audiationhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Audiation.
I start with pitches, play it, then ask them to match it in their head. Then ask them to sing it. Developing their auditory imagination is key. If they are trying to match a pitch but can't get it, point up or down. Model it yourself pretending that you are flat or sharp.

2. I work with the men as a section - the "MEN SECTION" in rehearsal. I do have a v. good tenor who is my asst. director, so I continually remind them to "round" their sound and listen to him first, then imitate him. This can be very effective.

3. Buy some some small tuning forks (A440) at the local music store and give one to the choir members who are having pitch issues. Ask them to carry them around and listen to the pitch several times and then hum the pitch - 3x a day, i.e. at every meal. This is their homework till next rehearsal. ...and I keep it going. Some music education theorists believe people can develop perfect pitch by doing this - for a long time. I don't know about that.....

4. Buy a pair of whisper phones: http://www.musicmotion.com/Practice-Aids/whisperphone-large.asp They are $17 and they will allow the individual to hear themselves - which is part of the problem.

5. Have the men begin chanting the introit - SEP or Gregorian - together. Make a big deal out of it and work it over and over with them - but keep it fun and light. Don't let them tense up while they're singing, distract them, tell a joke, do something to relieve tension...cross your eyes and make them laugh. I'm serious - people freak out when their singing and this blocks brain function. This can be really effective with the other suggestions.

Point is to get them to identify their own problem. Just be honest with them and tell them what's going on but that you appreciate them stepping forward and that it has to be from God - so they have an obligation to stick with it and be willing to work. Tell them gently that they, like all new choir members, have to work on matching their pitches first.

Good luck. If God has called you to this and you faithfully work the problem - it will bear fruit. Maybe not the fruit we want, but it'll be the fruit God wants. (She said from the experience of trying to serve her own will too often!)