I sometimes will tell them that it's not within my vocal range. In one occasion, I tried "I am the Bread of Life" on request and could not hit the notes. Then, they let me give them another option.
Hm. No-one mentions trying to explain why you consider something "questionable"! I've found people generally at least a little open to the idea of seasonal, though a) musical quality, b) text quality and c) appropriateness to the occasion are trickier because more subjective. And how to explain a complete mismatch-by-association, like the fairly anodyne "My God loves me" UK text glued on to an old French popular song "Love's pleasures last but a moment"!
Here are my responses, and yes, I have used them. I have a hard time not caring what people think of me... so I try to be gentle ;)
Usually I begin with a positive, such as, "Oh, I know, many people like that hymn/song but..." followed by,
a) "it is rather difficult to sing, because of the range," or b) " it is used so often, have you thought about...?" or c) "have you ever considered that in this hymn we are addressing ourselves, instead of God? When someone pointed that out to me, I was so surprised, so now I prefer to use..."
Finally, if something is heretical, I just tell someone that I can't sing/play the music because it is not appropriate in the presence of the Eucharist (like Cohen's "Halleluia" for example).
We had a singalong sort of party a while back and sang all sorts of terrible stuff. Maybe setting it up so they see the laughs some of this music gets from the choir, and acknowledging that it can be fun to bash out these songs, but please not at Mass.
Depends on the context of the request. If it's just "I want to hear this hymn", I usually just give something like, "I've never heard of that hymn. I'll see if I get a chance to use it sometime soon..." If it's a funeral, aside from heretical or inappropriate requests, I always do it. Though, for some, I have been known to say, "I'm happy to do that, but you should be aware that some people may take offense because of ____. Perhaps that isn't something you want to bring up at this funeral?"
I don't see any reason to be nasty or shoot down the request. If they requested the Introit "Resurrexi", we surely would program it on Easter Sunday, not on July 22nd, right? So, if they request "Eagle's Wings", surely we can cheerfully program it at an appropriate date.... whenever that may be.... haven't found a good day for it yet! ;)
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