Great concept, Adam. A couple of....

"With perfect judgement in His eyes,
and perfect justice from His rod."

He sees the paths we chose to trod.

"Before His justice, none can flee;
Beneath His judgement, none can stand."

Beneath His Mercy, all must stand.

Wow, this is great! Chock-full of biblical imagery in just the way the Bible means it. Tremendously fluent, captures the season's urgency. I wouldn't change a thing, except "will" to "shall" in line 1 to match the others. Why worry about sh-sh, when you're talking about trees.

It's in some sense terrible--line 4 is scary. But it's true and I wouldn't want it changed.

"The axe, as yet, awaits the tree./ The threshing floor awaits the fan." You have been reading your B-i-b-l-e, distilling it, and this is the very welcome output. It's the gospel, rhymed and metered. Congratulations, Adam.

Thanks so much for the positive feedback, Kathy. You make me want to write a lot more.
Good call on "shall," also.

I love Conditor Alme Siderum. It's in the 1982, so they might know it already. In any event it's a tune worth them learning.


Charles- I gotta disagree, though. I don't want to interrupt the double parallelism of justice and judgement, which are the critical "keys" for my concept here:
The terror of judgment and the grace of salvation are the same thing. They are the same side of a single coin.

Aw...
Thanks!

The first tune that came to mind was "Dunedin."

On the minor side, I would think that the semicolon in stanza 2, line 2 needs to be a comma, as "And all the lands and peoples know, the Name of God, the Lord Most High" probably isn't meant to be an independent statement.

Also, if, as I assume, "Prepare the Way, Repent, and make His pathways clear!" is a reference to the vox clamantis in deserto, then perhaps "A voice shall sing" might be changed to "A voice cries out," both to make the reference clearer and to make the call more immediate.

And I wonder if one of the instances of "God" might work better as "Christ" -- "The name of Christ, the Lord Most High," or "Salvation in our Christ is near." In a hymn of this nature, I'd think at least one specific reference to the Son would be appropriate.

Overall, I think this is great.

I wanted to chime in on the last of Mark's suggestions, which seems valuable in one sense. It would be great to mention Christ's name at least once; although he is mentioned throughout by Scripture references, if those references are not known, it would be better to be explicit.

On the other hand, the two instances which Mark mentions as examples are Old Testament references, if I'm not mistaken, which don't in themselves reference Christ. So I wouldn't make that particular adjustment myself, in those particular places.

"However-
Never believe anyone who says they have the right answer to the "will/shall" question. New Oxford isn't even sure."

From what I remember from my Latin class (at least in translating) is that the first person singular and plural always are "shall" and second and third person is always "will."

Don't even know if this is relevant but worth a try...

RIDICULOUS REQUEST

Does someone have the time in the next few hours to set this text over Conditor Alme Siderum (Creator of the Stars of Night).
Harmonized (like chant, not like a German hymn) is preferable, but unison would be better than nothing.

I'm having some PC issues that preclude me from being able to do this myself, and I have choir practice tonight (I know, I know- I shouldn't wait til the last minute...)

(Although if someone wants to write a new chant-like hymn-tune, that could be awesome, too... a new LM tune could get a lot of use...
The arrangement would need to be easy, homophonic, and SAB [splitting the men doesn't work real well in my choir])


Anywho.
I know it's a ridiculous thing to ask, but people on this board have come to my rescue a couple other times with requests like this, so if anyone feels so moved- Thanks in advance.

Hey, I'm glad the online Gregorio application was handy. I was going to suggest it, but didn't know if you could take the time to bone up on Gregorio.

I think if I was doing something complicated, Gregorio would have been tougher to crack. But it is such a straightforward piece that it was no problem.
And it was much easier than using any open-source modern-notation applications I could find.

I think it actually was better that I used four-line notation: My choir already knows this tune, so they were able to get used to four-lines and square notes without also learning a new piece of music.

Incidentally (or not) the text went over very well with my choir, and they loved it paired with Conditor Alme Siderum, so thanks Bobby for that suggestion.

You're very welcome!

If I had to guess, it would be from the Liber Hymnarius (WantsToBeHelpfulButIsnt),

The Parish Book of Chant, for Creator alme siderum, has mi do mi so SO LA fa so, as does the 1912 Antiphonale. I blame Solesmes.

Why would one have to be right and one wrong? I'm reminded of the different developments of the older Salve. The Parish Book of Chant has two, or is it three versions. I've heard two others, both from venerable monastic traditions. They developed differently, that's all.

(This is my version of reading an old magazine)

I used the original Conditor Alme yesterday at the Latin Mass. I'm attaching your version, but with the Doxology from the original version, plus the Amen.

Of course not!
I love Shape note music, and other American folk styles (check out my Shaker-inspired Mass setting in another thread).


Charles- did you end up singing my text? How did it go over?

One of the good consequences of the fairly-odd, pan-blog epic drama that was David Haas's new hymn based on Salve Regina, was that a conversation at Todd's Catholic Sensibility blog forced me to finally go over and post this text at my own site:
From Ancient Roots - A Hymntext for the Second Sunday of Advent, Year A

Todd was the first to comment on it, and I'm posting his critique as well as my response here because I think it furthers a good conversation about the mechanics and inner-workings of text-writing. I'd really love your followup comments, disagreements, and so forth.

TODD:
I like this text. It captures the readings well. I like the repetition of judgment and justice in verses 1 and 4, prepare in verses 3 and 5. When you repeat the word “dare” in verse 3, it’s with a different emphasis, and I like how that works in speaking the text.

While I like the parallel of “stars and moon” and “lands and peoples” in verse 2, I thought line 3 to be weak in comparison. Stars and moon fall from the sky: that’s a powerful image. Lands and people just … know. Would there be something stronger to say about just what the message of the forerunner is? Also, the semi-colon there implies a connected, but a new thought. “And” doesn’t/shouldn’t follow a semi. It almost seems that you need two verses to really embellish the idea and do two principles: the end of the world and universal salvation their due justice.

In verse four, your reference to “His” is clearly God because it’s capitalized. I’m not really bothered by a judicious use of the third-person masculine pronoun, but given the wealth of metaphors in Isaiah 11, I would have preferred something other than pronouns in that verse.

While I like the rhythm and crescendo of verse 5, and the parallel of heart and eyes is good, but in line 1 are we preparing “then well”? It seems like a filler that could easily have been two syllables with a stronger expression.

I’d say this hymn is much farther along than David’s. And I wouldn’t hesitate, as a composer, to work with you and your material.

MY RESPONSE:
Thanks for your comments. If we were two weeks ahead of Advent 2 instead of two weeks after it, I might tinker a bit more.

It's always difficult to try to respond line by line to critique, without falling into straight defensiveness. But, in the interest of conversation (which I love) and text-writing scholarship (which I pretend to be involved with), here my initial thoughts:

Lands and people just … know.

This is as direct a quotation as the meter would allow of, "for the earth will be full of the knowledge of the LORD," from the Isaiah passage. So, yes- they "just know."

Also, the semi-colon there implies a connected, but a new thought. “And” doesn’t/shouldn’t follow a semi.

I consider punctuation rules to be largely a matter of opinion. I'm aware that a semi-colon+and would get me in trouble with my HS English teacher. On the other hand, the construction does exactly as you suggest- provides separation and linkage at the same time. Also, as long as it doesn't become a noticeable bad habit at the start of verse after verse, I'm pretty much okay with the occasional lyrical-filler-word ("and") used in order to get the meter to work. That is much preferable to stuffing in ungainly polysyllables, or forcing a slur to shoehorn a poorly-metered text.

It almost seems that you need two verses to really embellish the idea and do two principles: the end of the world and universal salvation their due justice.

This is a theological point which I may or may not understand correctly, but I pretty much consider the end of the world and universal salvation (that's the salvation of the Universe, not the salvation of all human souls) to be equivalent- they are (like justice and mercy, like judgement and forgiveness, like wrath and loving-kindness) the same side of the same coin.
Also, I feel like adding an additional verse would violate some kind of personal rule about brevity and compactness. Generically, I feel 5 verses of Long Meter is just about the perfect length of a hymn. Upon adding a sixth, the typical music director will start eyeing verses for ommission.

In verse four, your reference to “His” is clearly God because it’s capitalized. I’m not really bothered by a judicious use of the third-person masculine pronoun, but given the wealth of metaphors in Isaiah 11, I would have preferred something other than pronouns in that verse.

I'm a feminist. I write feminist-language hymns. Because of my willingness (eagerness) to use the word "She" to refer to the Almighty and Everlasting God, I am constantly flummoxed and annoyed by progressive-types who point out use of the word "He" in prayer texts. A casual reading of the Bible reveals that God is probably male(ish). A more indepth reading may reveal that God is both male and female. There is absolutely no reasonable interpretation that renders God neuter.
I know, I know- you're not "really bothered by a judicious use" of "He," but you mentioned it, so it seems that perhaps you're at least a little bothered. I'm sure the PC types at the big publishers would prefer a less gender specific rendering here as well. No thanks.
As to finding another image from the wealth of metaphors in Isaiah- I'm open to the idea, but I can't find or invent one that seems as smack-you-in-the-face powerful as "His Judgement... His justice."

but in line 1 are we preparing “then well”? It seems like a filler that could easily have been two syllables with a stronger expression.

I disagree that this is filler. I do metrical filler from time to time (like "and" above), but this is not it.
"Then" is sort of the crux of the whole piece, in my opinion. It is a rendering of that all-important liturgical word, "igitur" (therefore).
It works like this:
Verses 1-4 are basically a paraphrase of the readings- recounting what has been foretold and what will happen. Okay, but so what? Well, THEREFORE, here's what you need to do: Prepare.
Prepare how?
Well.

It's understatement, of course- like my grandfather responding to the question, "How did you do that?" "Very carefully," he would always say.
I'm relying on the rest of the hearer's cultural and religious knowledge to understand just how serious and difficult (nay, impossible) it is to prepare "well" for the coming of Christ.
And how else are we to prepare? Swiftly.
Why?
Because God's grace is swift- coming on an unknown day, at an unknown hour- like a thief. Swifter still, even.

I’d say this hymn is much farther along than David’s. And I wouldn’t hesitate, as a composer, to work with you and your material.

Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. I know the CMAA people cringe and giggle everytime I mention it, but David's music has been a big part of my spiritual upbringing, and it means a lot to me to have my work compared to his in that way.
As for working with me and my material- this text, as most of the material I write, is released under a Creative Commons license. If you ever feel inspired to write a new tune or arrangement, or even a new derivative text, please feel free to do so. If you want to make money on it, please ask first (I'll probably say yes) and share (I need it), but otherwise have at it.
(Please see the specifics of the license- there are requirements and conditions.)

But you all cringe, while just some of you giggle?

Wait a second. I NEVER cringe.

O, sure, smirking is another matter entirely...

Hmm...

I don't prefer it, but I if someone had an 8686 tune they really wanted to use (New Britain? Joy to the World? Gilligan's Island?), I have no problem with it.
(and my original is CC: BY, SA, NC.... which means this version must be as well)

Anywho, I think that's a fine version and I'm very flattered you'd take the time to do it. It does have a different feel- obviously a bit terser, and I like some of the grammatical solutions you came up with- very nice.

bumping for Advent 2014

bumping for Advent 2020

Also, here's a three verse version set to BOURBON