Pastoral doesn't have to mean giving people everything they want.

There are ways of sticking more closely to the guidelines without lecturing people in mourning about liturgical rules and regulations . . . .

One thing I have seen my pastor do quite often is recommend that the Eulogy (eulogies) be given at the wake. That way, as he gently explains, there is more time for discussing/memory sharing, and if someone gets ultra emotional, it's not during the Mass.

I'm wondering if eulogies couldn't be offered before Mass starts in the same tradition that weddings were done before Mass started in the EF. The priest (or eulogist) could offer a eulogy and, at the end, say "Now let us offer Holy Mass for X"

Eulogies will probably never go away... but if they must be done, they should be done well. Of all the eulogies I've heard through the years, I can only remember one that was decent and one that was good. Usually the person is too emotional or has poorly written it out and stumbles over their words. Often this can lead to embarassment and further problems with distraction during Mass and at any reception afterwards...

In deference I will remove my post.

Here's what Catholics United for Faith says:


May a eulogy be given at a Catholic funeral?
Catholic funeral rites do not allow space for a eulogy.9 The focus of a Christian funeral is the paschal mystery: the suffering, death, and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.10 The funeral rites are not so much a celebration of the life of the deceased, but a prayer that the life and death of the deceased may be joined to Christ in heaven. Because the focus of a Catholic funeral is first on God, eulogies do not have a place within the funeral liturgy.


This does not mean we cannot reflect on and celebrate the life of the deceased. It does mean that such a celebration of the life of the deceased would be more appropriate to a non-liturgical gathering (for example, a post-funeral luncheon).

The Church’s rites do allow a member or a friend of the family to speak in remembrance of the deceased prior to the final commendation.11 This is not a full eulogy, but a brief reflection proportionate to the other parts of the funeral rites.

• And the Richmond Diocese says:


May eulogies be given at a funeral Mass?

The Rite of Christian Funerals does not include the addition of personal eulogies at a funeral Mass. The rite actually says, “A brief homily based on the readings is always given after the gospel reading at the funeral liturgy and may also be given after the readings at the vigil service; but there is never to be a eulogy.” (OCF # 141) The custom of the eulogy comes from Protestant funeral services that may not have the rich ritual and prayers that are ours. Nevertheless, it has indeed become a custom in some places to allow words of remembrance to be said at a Catholic liturgy.

For pastoral reasons, many pastors have decided to allow a brief personal reflection to be given. The preference would be that it be done at the Vigil Service, a time when people gather to remember, tell stories, and celebrate the life of the one who has died. Some pastors will ask that it precede the actual liturgy and others will permit it at the end of Communion. Because the Rite is very clear on eulogies, Bishop DiLorenzo does not need to officially forbid them. Pastors decide on their own whether a brief reflection – and not a true eulogy – would be pastoral and permissible.

• Preeminence....NPM? In numbers, but not in quality. A local situation that I hesitate just yet to mention is an example.

PGA, you're a bit overwrought.

This is a no-brainer. Have your "eulogy" precisely where the GIRM suggests: before the final dismissal. OR have it (as another suggested) before the Mass begins.

Or you can continue to drive people away from the Church with practices which are Protestant.

Can somebody remind us what the purpose of the Requiem Mass is?

Isn't it supposed to be offered of our charity for the repose of the soul of the deceased and in the hopes that the burden of their sins might be eased as they prepare for their time in purgatory?

Oh, that's right. We don't call it a Requiem anymore. We're past all that. No, no. We gather to remember the life of the person who died. It's a "celebration", not a funeral. They'll get to heaven just fine. In fact, to hear it said by many priests, these folks never even spend time in purgatory and go straight on to heaven. No need to pray for them.

And, it's so very important that those who are left behind to grieve hear their favorite "songs" at Mass and tell their favorite stories about the deceased during Mass rather than hearing the appointed texts and Propers and solid preaching, because after all it's not about praying for the repose of the soul of the deceased anymore, it's about catering to the wants of the family, regardless their understanding or proper disposition to make those choices.

Remember: we're not dealing with how we "feel" in the moment, and that's not the purpose of the Church. We're dealing with the welfare of immortal souls. What could be more pastoral than that?

What's wrong with steering people to the most appropriate times? Its pastoral on both levels- helping the family grieve and allowing them full sacred liturgy.

In one parish in which I sub, it is routine to have 4-5 eulogies. No guidelines as far as I can tell. People share about drinking with their uncle, shopping with mom memories, etc. Looooong original poems are routine. One dear soul who died with AIDS was eulogized by an old friend who got up and tearily led the faithful through the 'good old days' when the deceased would put on his high heels and lead friends on a parade through a major San Diego street after a great night of drinking. Another man who had left the Church for a mega-church took the opportunity of a eulogy to 'share' with everyone how they can be saved.

The stories go on. I can count on one hand eulogies that had something to do with the faith of the deceased, or with faith at all. People who are non-Catholics or C&E Catholics leave the Church with a very mixed idea of what Catholicism is, and a truly evangelical opportunity is muddied or completely missed.

One needs to be loving and pastoral, and one also needs to allow the sacred liturgy to happen. This means some guidelines, charitably and clearly presented, are important.

'I refuse to fight these battles that even the most conservative priests don't fight and won't back me up on.'
I can totally sympathize with that!
While this is a huge frustration for musicians, at the end of the day we are not in charge of this aspect of liturgy and are not responsible for it. We can talk to our celebrants about it and pray. Its a lamentable and damaging practice in many areas, but we can't stop it if the priests won't, rubrics or no.

As Ma, the Singing Mum has clearly stated, Funeral Mass Liturgies can be and are hijacked with people with un-Catholic intent.

Priests, including those who are canon lawyers, are not permitted to change a word of the Mass, for good reason.

Why present the Mass as a liturgy and then permit it to be challenged by words of lay people?

If I may be needlessly (or not?) provocative, there's a thread running through many of the responses on the "don't do what isn't in the red" side:

"Priests, including those who are canon lawyers, are not permitted to change a word of the Mass, for good reason."
"Why present the Mass as a liturgy and then permit it to be challenged by words of lay people?"
"But in the final analysis the Church isn't in the business of making people happy or catering to their wants"

This is all well and good, but if the Church "isn't in the business of... catering to their wants," why is there a choice of readings for the funeral liturgy? Why is there an option 4 to replace the antiphons? If "the Church" doesn't want the liturgy of Christian Funerals tinkered with, who put in all these options?

Although in practice I try to be accommodating for funerals (because I hope people will do the same for my family at my end!), in theory I find all these options to be promoting the very practices which we are unanimous in deploring. I recall a "TED Talk" which talked about how happiness is NOT linked to freedom (how's that for a 4th of July weekend sentiment?), but rather most people get along happily enough if they aren't asked to make decisions. Really, I think the current practice of the OCF just needs some COMMON SENSE! Someone dies, so we ASK their survivors, in their grief, will you please make a decision impacting one of the most important aspects of Mass? We give them that liberty, then we're surprised if they want (maybe in their mind only) an orthodox hymn at the funeral?

Let's just think this through. There's nothing pastoral with giving someone who just lost a loved one a whole job to do.

Nicely put.

At my dad's funeral, we had a nicely done funeral, Mass was said by my dear, reverent Jesuit uncle, Dad's brother. But my dad's friend, also a priest, invited anyone at the end to come up and "say a few words" after he did. Only one person did, a neighbor who can talk on the fly. Nobody else had anything prepared, so I thought the family looked stupid for not saying anything. It made me feel better finding out that there are to be no eulogies, and Fr. Won'tmentionhisname liturgically aberrated. I have instructions written out that nobody is to come up and say, "How goofy Kathy was, etc..."

Today I had the privilege to sing at the funeral of a firefighter who recently died while on duty in a fire in Bridgeport, Connecticut. The funeral mass was held at St. Augustine's cathedral, and Bishop Lori was present. The full pagentry of the funeral for a fallen firefighter took place, and I have so much respect for the other firefighters who added so much dignity to the event and hopefully brought comfort for the grieving family. A huge number of firefighters from all over Connecticut and as far away as Canada were present, mostly outside, since they could not all be accommodated in the cathedral.

I have to say that I think that the mass and the ceremonies toward the end of mass would have both been more affective if the later ceremonies had not actually taken place during the funeral mass. I don't know all of the expectations are of firefighters in this situation are; perhaps it is simply presumed that the numerous eulogies, conferal of flag, ringing of the bell, etc. are to take place in church. I am sensitive to such expectations. The ceremonies that took place between the post communion and the final commendation were beautiful, uplifting, respectful, consoling and lengthy. Mass lasted close to three hours in all. It struck me, however, that mass almost seemed to be the lead up to the later ceremony, however. If the homily hadn't been as substantial and memorable, I would have substituted "was" for "almost seemed". I thought it sad, however, that so many firefighters weren't able to see the customs' of their admirable occupation being performed. Might it not have been better for a second site to have been used after mass, such as a local arena, where the many eulogies and such could have been done, and perhaps give the mourners a little break in between?

It was also clear that one of the aspects about having a eulogy is that the desire to have them during mass must be that the congregation as Body of Christ provides the context for the memorialization of the actions of the deceased. This strikes me as valid, and if eulogies aren't to be said at mass, the Church needs to figure out a structured way for them to be done in another ritual, eg. a memorialization of the deceased's witness to Christ. The Paschal mystery thus becomes the lens through which we seen not only their death but also their life. Getting input from groups of firefighters, police officers, soldiers, etc. would be crucial to putting such a ritual together.

When the one being eulogized is a hero, a concise eulogy in a funeral mass doesn't strike me as objectionable. When the person is of less exemplary character, that context could be mistaken for approbation of less positive behavior. I kind of think that if some get to have eulogies, all should get to have eulogies. The context is crucial, however, and it seems to me that the funeral mass isn't the best one. I don't believe in only following the rules that I agree with, but I think at its heart the rule against eulogies in funeral masses is on the right track.

One of the speakers did refer to the event as a celebration of the life of the slain firefighter, though two of the prayers of the faithful were for the soul of the deceased.