I received a text message this evening from somebody in our choir.

Maestro Francis: The speakers need to be cleaned out. The dust is caking (in) the speakers.

(my reply)

Just pull out all the stops, floor it, and lay your arms on both keyboards! And then facing directly at the speakers, at the top of your lungs chant, “Ooh La La, Ooh La La, Ooh La La.” (you will find this phrase with the appropriate pitches in the Tenebrae hours.)

If that doesn’t work, try a shop vac.

But when you’re chanting into the shop vac, be careful not to get too close! It’ll really take the wind out of ya!

And if that doesn’t work, I will write a toccata and fugue in c# minor. There are some secret intervals that very few people know about that blow out audio peripheral occlusions.

(has anyone else had these type of complaints?)