Here's something new for the Easter Vigil: my metrical setting of "Vidi aquam." Tune name: BLESSED TIBER, in honor of the swim I made at Easter 2019. Feedback cheerfully heard!
Right off the bat, I would suggest fixing the alleluias at the end of each phrase so that the -lu of alleluia falls on the downbeat. I think you can do it within the existing tune, but scoot the syllables over, like this in mm. 3-4 for example:
Al-le-lu-(u)-ia, al-le-| lu-(u)-ia.
Measures 11-12:
Al-le-| lu-ia, | al-(a)-(a)-(a)-(al)-le-| lu-ia. OR Al-le-| lu-ia, | al-(a)-(a)-le-lu-(u)-|ia.
Anna, poetically I really enjoy what you’ve done here. My one suggestion would be to cut out the third line that’s just alleluias. There are enough alleluias as it is, and the rhythm really makes the hymn lose steam and it’s already long enough as it is.
The end of the second line, being half-way, could end more effectively on the tonic, rather than the third of the same.
I found rather surprising (and a little jarring) the use of a second inversion chord on a strong beat in the middle of the last line. If you decide it needs fixing, my suggestion is b-flat in first inversion (on 3rd beat) and e-flat root position (or make the e-flat in the bass a natural) to prepare your f-minor at the beginning of the last phrase.
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