Good heavens… I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve been deemed persona non grata once, but I couldn’t have gotten out of there fast enough anyway, and all the people I cared about knew the truth and that I wasn’t to blame, so I was afforded some solace. Your situation sounds entirely different. Perhaps you need to have a come to Jesus talk with the pastor and a witness (presumably the choir director).

Sad to hear, but is this over over differences in liturgical approach to music?

So - what would you do if you were returning to your home parish, and found out that the pastor had sent out an email banning you (among others) from singing or playing organ for any liturgical function until he gave permission?

At one time, my home parish only wanted registered parishioners to be members of the choir. It would be inappropriate for me to return on any given Sunday and think that I could just start singing in the choir again.

So one reason maybe to foster in-house volunteers and the pastor can't do that if "outsiders" keep showing up. It's a painful decision but perhaps a necessary one.

What you do is respect the pastors decision and move on.

I guess the big question is: does the incumbent music director want you to play? If the answer is yes, then you have a right to know what, precisely, the pastor takes issue with. If it's more a matter of, "hey, I'm here—do you mind if I play something?" then I'd say to avoid such a habit since that might derail the incumbent, especially if they are too shy to say no for whatever reason.

I have no useful comment except, I feel upset on your behalf and I will pray for wisdom for you, the music director, and the pastor.

Don - it’s not a matter of competing with “in-house volunteers”. When I was there I assisted the choir director in bringing new people within the parish to start singing with the choir. I was helping as best as I could with building a polyphony program. Where the choir had trouble singing Palestrina’s “Jesu Rex Admirabilis” before, now they are singing Parson’s “Ave Maria”. So, if I’m an outsider for doing that - yeah, perhaps it is just as well I move on. This particular community has a knack for ostracizing “outsiders” - and really, if you aren’t born into the movement, that’s how they view you.

Ruth - the pastor is a competent musician, but as far as I know has no formal musical training. He has been there a little under a year. (This is after my being at the parish well over a year, before leaving for seminary.)

Serviam - Yes. I have only sung with her express permission, and I would only play when she asked. She also wrote to the pastor asking for clarification on this announcement (I’m not the only one banned from singing.)

Elmar - I’ve asked both the choir director and the Schola director. They have no idea. (The Schola Director, a good friend of mine, said “our pastor must really hate you!”)

Carol - thank you. I appreciate it.

Salieri- That’s a bingo. My last in-person interaction with this pastor involved him threatening me by contacting my rector at the seminary- because I didn’t say hello to him as soon as I arrived at the church that morning.

Sad to say, there are some genuine social misfits in the priesthood. Maybe there was a time when vocations directors could be more choosy, but I would agree with Salieri,

Maybe it's just my diocese, but the lack of vocations has led to a situation where the vocations office will take anyone who isn't three-hours dead, resulting in a large number of priests who have zero people skills, no administrative abilities, and a shocking lack of general life skills.

Also sad to say, the same situation extends into religious orders.

Choirs also can have some peculiar politics behind the scenes. Those smiling faces hide a lot of ill will and jealousy and you never really know what they are thinking.

Too bad the civil authorities protect these clerics. I long for the day to return when we could tar and feather them and ride them out of town on a rail. It would be a wake-up call for some of them. Others still aren't bright enough to catch on and should go into the government.

Sad to say, there are some genuine social misfits in the priesthood.

NOW you tell me. /s

Ubi caritas?

Just to offer a speculation: perhaps the pastor was displeased that you left at all; or perhaps he doesn't like where you went, somehow; and then (in either case) he is getting even in this way.

Looks like another control freak at the helm....sigh, it does get tiring...

I would cry... a lot.
and then I would be angry and pout and maybe break something.

And then I would move on.
But that's just me.

So sorry you are dealing with this.