a little humor in a time of quarantine
  • mmeladirectress
    Posts: 798

    No one is taking coronavirus for a joke. It's certainly not. But life inside, if you will, is in need of some lightening up. Would it be OK to introduce some gentle (GENTLE, people!) humor in these strange days?

    It is predicted that nine months or so from now, there will be a minor baby boom,
    and 2033 will see the rise of the Quaranteens.
  • Madame,

    Thank you for the levity.

    Due to some slight hospital data-entry mistakes, the most popular baby name in 2020 was COVID, followed closely by WUHAN.
  • bhcordovabhcordova
    Posts: 801
    In time of crisis, always ask WWJWD (i.e. What Would John Wayne Do)?
  • CHGiffenCHGiffen
    Posts: 4,310
    As the weather warms up and deer ticks emerge, one might expect to have CORONA with LYME.
  • TCJ
    Posts: 688
    In time of crisis, always ask WWJWD (i.e. What Would John Wayne Do)?


    I thought it meant What would Jehovah's Witnesses do? After all, they can't go door to door anymore.
  • francisfrancis
    Posts: 8,692
    Who let the Covid Cat out of the Wuhan bag?
  • mmeladirectress
    Posts: 798
    I sent a text of encouragement to a friend
    but instead of a hug (((( Roxie )))) I had to use social distancing

    ( ( ( ( Roxie ) ) ) )
    Thanked by 1Elmar
  • JonathanKKJonathanKK
    Posts: 441
    ~ The Microbe ~

    The Microbe is so very small
    You cannot make him out at all,
    But many sanguine people hope
    To see him through a microscope.
    His jointed tongue that lies beneath
    A hundred curious rows of teeth ;
    His seven tufted tails with lots
    Of lovely pink and purple spots,
    On each of which a pattern stands,
    Composed of forty separate bands ;
    His eyebrows of a tender green ;
    All these have never yet been seen—
    But Scientists, who ought to know,
    Assure us that they must be so. . . .
    Oh ! let us never, never doubt
    What nobody is sure about !

    More Beasts for Worse Children (1897), H. Belloc

  • Andrew Malton
    Posts: 808
    I've known the above, and their delightful musical setting by Dudley Glass [1932] by heart since childhood. Thanks for the reminder!
  • Elmar
    Posts: 215
    Our Prime Minister (on the background that we've had six weeks of 'corona whether', meaning bright blue skies all day, even without contrails) regarding cycling to school, once they re-open:
    "Yes, you will be cycling when it rains as well. Yes, you might be getting wet. Remember, this IS still Holland!"
  • Elmar
    Posts: 215
    A rather old one:

    Two planets meet (at a distance, for the topic)
    "How are you?" - "I've got a bad flu... it's called homo sapiens."
    "Too bad, get well soon!" - "I hope so."
    "I've had it too some time ago. There's bad and good news about it." - "Which is?"
    "The bad one: there is still no medicine." - "And the good one?"
    "Usually it doesn't last long, and you'll recover quickly once it's over!"
  • CatherineS
    Posts: 425
    Elmar - we have had nearly non-stop spectacular weather here since 'quarantine' began!
    Thanked by 1Elmar
  • Carol
    Posts: 544
    We are expecting snow overnight, probably just a coating, in May. Quite rare for the Hudson Valley.
    Thanked by 1Elmar
  • bhcordovabhcordova
    Posts: 801
    Carol, for those of us in the Deep South, can you explain this 'snow' you speak of.
  • mmeladirectress
    Posts: 798
    bhcordova -
    you know, that white stuff you buy at 7-11 in a paper cone
    Thanked by 3tomjaw Elmar Carol
  • CHGiffenCHGiffen
    Posts: 4,310
    Yeah, but don't scoop up in a snow-cone what looks like the lemonade flavoured stuff.
  • Carol,

    We've been gettting snow since the SIP was put in place: when we try to get sensible answers to sensible questions, and pure nonsense when new justifications come out.
  • bhcordovabhcordova
    Posts: 801
    @mmeladirectress you mean shaved ice?
    Thanked by 1Carol
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 10,450
    Our weather has been quite crazy. We had an early spring when it rained nearly every day, after day, after day. Now we seem to be alternating between 80 degree days and 40 degree days. There is a frost warning out for tomorrow night when we dip into the thirties. bhcordova, we are in the south at least in the southern Appalachians.

    Will the one of you that ticked off the Lord please stop sinning?
  • CatherineS
    Posts: 425
    Will the one of you that ticked off the Lord please stop sinning?


    Hahahahahahaha! Thanks for the laugh.
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 7,166
    .
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 7,166
    .
  • Elmar
    Posts: 215
    ?
  • mmeladirectress
    Posts: 798
    let's remember that this thread is about humor :-)
    do you like Tom Swifties? here's one

    “Can I become a chorister?” Tom inquired.
  • CatherineS
    Posts: 425
    I had to look up "Tom Swifties." That's clever.
  • Jeffrey Quick
    Posts: 1,604
    Summer is coming, and with it deer ticks. Be extra careful, or you may get Corona with Lyme,
  • francisfrancis
    Posts: 8,692
    Star Wars Trash Compactor is Like Unto the Contemporary Music of the VII Movement

    As church musicians, there is a lot going on in this small video clip that truly reflects the dilema we have been in for decades. Take a look and see for yourself!

    1. In the midst of fighting off the demons we fall into an unbearable place filled with rubbish, ugliness and ... that 'smell' (the music...)

    2. Feeling trapped we want to blast out of our situation, but wind up bringing our own fire back on ourselves... because it is 'hermeneutically" sealed.

    3. Of course 'it could be worse', but then... we realize... it is! the thing in the water is out to get us... the BIG THREE. It takes us under at times, but then it lets go, and we find ourselves gasping for breath as we choke on the trash water.

    4. Then God really can't take it any longer and starts the masher.

    5. Princess Leah, of course is like unto the BVM who puts up that long piece of space junk and gives 3CPO (Saint Michael the Archangel) just enough time to divert the catastrophe.

    https://youtu.be/7U3Oti2L8S4
  • CatherineS
    Posts: 425
    Spare us, O Lord.
    Thanked by 1mmeladirectress
  • tomjaw
    Posts: 1,773
    @CatherineS
    Spare us, O Lord.

    I find getting rid of the T.V. and only watching classical music videos on Youtube solves the problems of Hollywood...
  • CHGiffenCHGiffen
    Posts: 4,310
    People keep asking "Is coronavirus REALLY all that serious?" Listen y'all, the casinos and churches are closed. When heaven and hell agree on the same thing it's probably pretty serious.
  • francisfrancis
    Posts: 8,692
    lol CHG... that's a great funny... however, I believe the reaction overall was like sending a hook and ladder to a camp fire.
    Thanked by 2CHGiffen tomjaw
  • mmeladirectress
    Posts: 798
    nice to know that the next generation is on the ball !

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE9r1LkRCV0
  • francisfrancis
    Posts: 8,692
    The human spirit... gotta love God for all of his gifts, big and small
    Thanked by 1mmeladirectress