Coulter,

Welcome to the forum.

If you search under my name, you will see that I have posted some of my own compositions here, and have received some very generous comments from other posters, so I think you can be assured kid-glove treatment.


At a first pass, here are some of my thoughts.

I wonder why you repeat the text "Nunc Dimittis...." as often as you do. It almost seems to be a choral respond (Jackson Osborne will chime in in a moment to confirm or correct me on this). If I've got that right, the text you should include, and then repeat, might be the text "Salva nos Domine …", from Compline.

Do you intend to have several sequential dissonances without seeming preparation? The combined effect of the parallel octaves, parallel fifths and sequential dissonances is unsettling, at least to my ear.

In measure 41, it's not clear whether the e in the bass part is flatted (as suggested by the key signature) or naturalized (because there's an e-natural in the Alto part).

What was your intended musical result (aside from being something your choir could sing)?

Charles,

Point well taken, but even at that, the text Nunc Dimittis isn't repeated.

Coulter,

May I then make the suggestion that you vary the texture of the repeated stuff? It could be sung (for example) as two parts on one iteration, and 3 parts on a second iteration.


May I urge you, however, not to view the task of music as "taking up time". Silence isn't evil.

First of all, hats off to you for taking on all that responsibility at your age. Mighty impressive.

I haven't given this a part-by-part read-through, but here are some preliminary thoughts:

I encourage you to sing through all of the parts you write, as much as is possible, in absolutely legato "full voice". Your piece lacks a bit of the "inertia" or "stretchiness" so common to polyphony that gives it that naturally vocal quality. Ex. m. 50, where the parts move to the open fifth by leap and omit the third briefly, making the modulation a bit too abrupt.

From the score you posted, it seems like you rely on the computer when you compose and work almost exclusively in that environment. Try working at the keyboard or singing these parts as you write them as much as is possible, and let your ear be the guide as to what is best. I feel that the computer is letting you write yourself into traps like m. 62 that clearly sound "wrong" in a polyphonic context.

There's some sustained high writing that I suspect might be a bit challenging for a choir of the calibre you describe, particularly towards the end. The tenor should either sit a bit higher or a bit lower, in my view - 69-71 is particularly tough. If you led into the high note so that it had a bit of momentum, it'd be quite a bit easier. The same thing happens at m. 65.

Coulter, thanks for doing this. You are already a rare breed. I share the thoughts above and kindly wish you well. Keep on keeping on. The Church Music Biz is a never ending pursuit. If you are more energetic than those around you, it is easy to burn out. Below is a well written ATB Nunc dimittis from our Compline library. As one of the 'big 5' changeable tunes at Compline, I have about 75 settings of the Nunc from Gregorian Chant to 5-part settings both homophonic and polyphonic by Anglicans and Romans. PM me if you want them.
jefe