If you’re in a position to replace this person, presuming you don’t believe there’s much hope in straightening him/her out, than by all means do so. As for your pastor, some priests will want to nitpick over even the smallest piece of music at mass, while others will simply be happy that there is music to accompany the mass at all. Not every priest has a conservatory education and that’s OK. Nor should the pastor be expected to micromanage the parish, especially if there are competent laypeople that have much more experience and passion in their particular area than the pastor. So long as the pastor won’t object to you sacking this person, you shouldn’t have a problem.

Can you come up with an alternative plan to proceed without his/her participation, however integral it may be? Proceed on time, and tell him/her that if late without emergency, to sit instead in the pews. The person can still be paid, if that's what the pastor wants....

This idea is derived from a corporate practice to nip a recursive tardiness issue for meetings: doors get closed as the meeting begins on time, and don't bother opening them to enter if you are late.

It's time to 1. look for a new job, 2. Learn and repeat the Serenity Prayer over and over.

We could set it to Gregorian Chant if that would help.

Obviously, this person is more important to the pastor than you are. Sad, but true.

If the chronically tardy person is otherwise an asset (contributing part) of the music service, you might try some classroom techniques such as always starting on time (as has been mentioned above), looking for any occasion to commend timely arrival, post expected times (with even a request that all participants arrive 10-15 minutes early), make a general statement such as "I really appreciate those of you who arrive promptly or even early", or even having a door prize drawing -- with tickets handed out at the entry only up until the start time. Be creative, and even have fun with it! Consider too that maybe there's a problem in that tardy person's life that someone could help out with (late babysitter needs a ride? car troubles? scheduling conflict?) to help them arrive on time. And remember, sometimes some musicians are just flaky! Best wishes in your efforts!

It sounds like your pastor will not back you up and that is not a good place for you to be. Keep working while you look for something better. It is always best to leave when you choose, not when he chooses.

I have a couple of chronic tardies, but they are juggling small children. One couple rushes from the CCD classes across town to the church. They can never be on time but I can live with it.

I agree with all of you...and thank you all for your input. It really means a great deal.
I definitely think it's time to move on and find something else. I'm not finding this position good for my soul anymore. After yesterday's conversation I woke up with severe anxiety, and with a really bad headache. It is just not worth losing my health over.

There's more than one type of "pastor doesn't care." It can be as you have noted and that is not a good kind of don't care. My pastor doesn't care because he admits he doesn't know music and depends on me to handle it. That is a good kind of don't care.

Sounds to me like you need to shake the dust of that place from your sandals and flee.

God speed you to some work elsewhere in the vineyard!

I am sometimes late for choir at mass on Sundays, just by a few minutes but missing the opening hymn. I am embarrassed and regretful but, not asking for any understanding or excuse, still I say it's the best I can do. I am not staff (not paid) and I slip in in a way I hope and believe is not disruptive to the contemplative mood of my fellow choristers. I will make my own appeal to God as necessary in the final judgement, and in no way do I mean here to justify tardiness in myself nor in the person described above. And yes, Regissor, I will include you in my prayers, rickety faith that I practice but again, best I've got right now.

Not sure how this could be applied, but my Histology professor would stop his lecture and say 'Welcome aboard Mr (Last Name here). Glad you could join us' when someone came in late for class. Didn't take very many times before no one was late for class.