Age Discrimination / really bummed out
  • Let us, rather, treat children as children and stop treating normal, good people as if they are criminals.


    Do you know anyone whose reputation has been diminished / destroyed because a child did what children do, and told some confused stories? I do - the result was a resounding not guilty, but by then the damage had been done. She never got another church job again, despite being demonstrably (with immigration records, no less) innocent.

    I don't plan on letting that happen to me. Age discrimination against kids stays. I also extend the safeguards to adults I consider vulnerable.
  • I work for the United Methodist Church currently. I have my BCI/FBI with the church and also with the local school district where I teach private lessons. They don’t have anything like VIRTUS and there are no additional trainings or certifications offered.
    I have witnessed VIRTUS misused or applied in needlessly heavy handed ways in my own diocese, and the school we pulled our kids from uses it to discriminate against parents who could not afford the BCI/FBI fees or take time off work and lose money to attend the mandatory training. The school wanted EVERY PARENT to do this in order to participate in ANY class activity with their child. As a result some poor parents-which included myself at that time-were banned from being room moms, bringing in cookies for parties, doing anything with their child in the classroom even when a teacher assigned an activity that required a parent to participate (ask me about the Cake Decorating debacle. It was one of the reasons my family left the school.) Point is, I’m legal and not a criminal. Was it a ridiculous situation I had at work? Yes. There was no one else in the building except me and the kid, and being a parent of three kids myself I made sure she was with me and not wandering around.
    It’s a tough call, believe me. I’m sick of good people being treated with automatic suspicion, yet I’m also tired of kids being abused. Look at that awful gymnastics doctor. I don’t know what the solution is, really. Just sharing my experiences.
    Thanked by 1CHGiffen
  • Is it right to treat innocent people as if they are guilty?
    Is it right to punish anyone for a crime he has not committed, especially if the perpetrator is known?
    Does VIRTUS (or its equivalent) actually keep anyone safe who wouldn't be safe without it?
    Does the current climate of mistrust have negative consequences and, if so, are these consequences avoidable or preventable?

    Do our children trust us more or the clergy more now that we've all been subjected to this "training?
  • Kathy
    Posts: 4,995
    While I find sitting through these programs as tedious as the next person, I don't find them particularly accusatory. They seemed aimed more at keeping your eyes open, getting rid of dark corners, keeping 2 adults nearby when there are kids around, and not being afraid to report suspicions.
  • chonakchonak
    Posts: 7,637
    Does VIRTUS (or its equivalent) actually keep anyone safe who wouldn't be safe without it?

    It may help keep people safe from false suspicions.
  • Locally, a gentleman is trying to get Troops of St. George off the ground. Anecdotes (sadly, true) worthy of Monty Python follow by the bucketload.

  • bhcordovabhcordova
    Posts: 647
    Remember, VIRTUS and similar programs are designed to protect the various dioceses (dictionary says that's the plural, but it looks odd to me) from lawsuits. If it keeps children, women, and other vulnerable people safe, all the better.
    Thanked by 2CharlesW Carol
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 9,854
    Exactly. It's a CYA to prevent lawsuits. Whether it keeps anyone safer is subject to guess.

    Of course, I am now 70 years old, and being sexually harassed would be flattering.

    Thanked by 1bhcordova
  • bhcordovabhcordova
    Posts: 647
    I don't know. Depends on how pretty she is!
    Thanked by 1CharlesW
  • Carol
    Posts: 438
    At the risk of seeming stodgy and I do know you are joking, but the meaning of "sexual harrassment" is that it doesn't feel flattering- it feels icky, which is why it's harassment.
    I also have read enough here to recognize that you are both gentlemen. I figured I would say it before someone else does it in an unkind way. And I do like being called "Miss" at the deli counter at my 60+ age.
  • bhcordovabhcordova
    Posts: 647
    And I thought I was an old codger on this site. I'm only a spry 56.
    Thanked by 2CharlesW Carol
  • CHGiffenCHGiffen
    Posts: 4,068
    You're all young'ns!! I'm old enough to remember church and school bells ringing at the end of World War II. I was born a year and five months before Pearl Harbor.
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 9,854
    And I thought I was an old codger on this site. I'm only a spry 56.


    Not even out of puberty at that age. LOL