I wouldn't object to How Great Thou Art...not my favorite but presumably some indication that the bride is interested in a religious rite and not just a fashion show which is a good thing. And I think it good to be lenient with couples (though a line gets drawn sometime) as it is a chance for a little evangelization...if only to make the couple feel welcome in the parish versus overwhelmed with the "parish rules" on weddings. re: canon in D - I think it was also background music in a GE lightbulb commercial from years back and that contributed to its popularity as well. The problem arises when different parishes in the same diocese have different rules (or no rules)...and so what passes muster at St. A's doesn't at St. B's and suddenly the bride (or the mother of the bride) is unhappy.

An organist may yearn to do Mulet's Esquisses Byzantine (and while you're at it, all ten movements) rather than the Widor Toccata, but most PIPs aren't sharing that yearning.

I married someone who was relatively unmusical, and I did most of the choices for the music (Monteverdi polyphonic ordinary, Gregorian propers, 4 paid ringers) and liturgy (pontifical Mass at the throne). In short, I handled most of the Mass, and she handled the reception. It worked well for us.

In my experiences both fiancés were most of the time rather equally involved, and there seemed to be mutual respect for each other's proclivities. Most parties have been keen on hearing my recommendations and choosing from my reportorial menu. Some have asked for (and not got) Mendelssohn and Wagner, or even worse. By far, most were pleasant and respectful. Most treasured by me were those who came with some things they really wanted badly - such as Palestrina, Bach, chant, etc. These were memorable and contributed enormously to my memory bank of beautiful encounters.

The relatively few in which only one of the couple was involved were without fail the ones in which only the bride-to-be herself came and held undisputed sway. Never ever the other way 'round. I always resented this preposterous presumption and all that it implies about the relationship enormously (greatly enormously!). These, though, have been a minority in my experience.

Only a very few times did I have to play Mallotte's Lord's Prayer or Schubert's Ave Maria. My worse wedding was decades ago. It was the one which took place in Houston at 4.00 on a Saturday afternoon and I, suddenly and in great alarm, at about ten of five blurted out in great angst to my priest friend whom I was visiting forty-five miles away (I believe that we were enjoying nice gins and tonic) that I was supposed to be playing a wedding. I must say that never was I treated later with such kindness and forgiveness by both pastor and couple. I to this day cannot believe that this happened to me - or that I let others down so badly on such an occasion.

Most of my weddings have been either neither-here-nor-there or very greatly rewarding musically and spiritually. There is one constant - in whatever ritual or liturgy I serve, I offer my best, for, more than pleasing and aedifying people, our offering is really to the All Holy, and we stand as the heirs of the temple Levites in all, all, that we do - gracing the Lord's worship with our finest performance and craft. Weddings are no different. The best of them are those whose brides and grooms know this and live it.

To be sure, there are those to whom the music is just another part of the scenery, like flowers, monogrammed napkins, the guest register, and other stuff. With these one may yet be satisfied with oneself knowing that his attitude about it was, after all, what it should have been for a holy ritual that took place in the Lord's House. Then, there are those who appreciate deeply the offering of one's God-given talents. I have had people come up to me thirty years after a wedding I played for when they were in their twenties and exclaim with great awe and respect 'Oh! You played for our wedding - and we still remember the beautiful music'. Its such moments as these that make one grateful for the vocation that God gave him. Such a calling deserves a daily Te Deum.

[Reponse to Arcane sidebar warning]

Christophe -

Je ne sais pas!

Or you could tell them that the work was picked up out of relative obscurity for the soundtrack of Ordinary People and . . . does the bride really want to be Mary Tyler Moore in that movie? That marriage didn't make it after all.... (purple)

On a side note, I have a fondness for that film, which proved to be one of the most emblematic compare/contrast pairings of high Silent Generation and leading-edge Generation X sensibilities (if you take Gen X as starting circa 1961 rather than 1965; the erstwhile teens in this film, as in the wonderful Fame of the same year (no movie better conveys the teenage performer audition treadmill of the period), are definitely more Gen X than Boomer in sensibility). Judd Hirsch's performance was particularly memorable, and Elizabeth McGovern's work with a slender role gave solid inimations of her future promise as a character actress.

@FidemInFidebus That video made me laugh a bit, I am quite used to hearing (and playing!) it a lot slower, but I do think it is the most authentic version I will ever have to hear.

Our choir (thankfully!) has never had to do a wedding because all of the couples ask for the folk band... I don't think our church has ever heard proper chanted propers.

This is just because I've only now recently discovered it and love it but:

Would the Vaughn Williams Fantasia on Greensleeves be good for a processional?

CCooze,

Some folks are trying to avoid the implications or insinuations related to traditional wedding music. With Green Sleeves, you're getting caught up with "cast me off discourteously" and suggestions of a promiscuous young woman whose attire has been stained with green grass.

I have nothing to say about the tune or the fantasia setting.

Just don't use, "The Lady Is a Tramp." Bad implications! Wonder if that could be set to "Greensleeves?"

Some of the ones I have seen recently were not wearing the otherwise, either. LOL.