I've made recordings for people in the past with varying degrees of success. The first time I did it, I made them for everyone and even burned them onto CDs because many didn't have computers or Internet. I am 100% certain that some people never bothered to listen to them at all. As I went along, I offered to make recordings and then when people requested them, I made them. I'm quite sure those people used the recordings.

If this cantor doesn't know 2/4 of Nettleton, Slane, the Taize, and Ellacombe, he doesn't know much. That said, I still usually meet with cantors 30 minutes before Mass begins to run through the music with them. If he can't learn it with you in those 30 minutes, then...he's not very good.

Not everyone is going to like this suggestion, but I always make sure that I have the ability to sing from the console (or piano, if you must...) so that I can cover something that the cantor either doesn't know or doesn't know well-enough. This is not a perfect solution, but it enables me to tell the cantor, "You know what, I'll take the lead on this one." I haven't had a problem with telling anyone that in the past, though YMMV.

Yeah, if you're going to meet with them 30 mins before Mass and he's still sending you angry notes, then he's out of line. Especially since you sent him recordings in advance!

What's a "cantor?"

Dear cantor,

I apologize if 6-7 days is not enough time to prepare music for the upcoming Mass; I know it's not very long for busy people but it is the best I can do at this time. Unfortunately, I can't really make adjustments right before Mass, since my Sunday schedule does not have much flexibility, and the music is part of a larger vision for the parish which I have worked out with the pastor. But if you can notify me of concerns earlier in the week when you first look at the list, then I'm sure we would be able to work something out that would be best for the parish.

If you're concerned about not being able to prepare music on time, perhaps we could have you take a break until your schedule clears up. You can let me know when you have time again to prepare the music ahead. If there is anything else I can do to help you learn the music on time, let me know. I try to be pretty good about [list the things you do to help them prepare], but if this isn't working for you, let me know so that I can use my time more efficiently to help you.
Thanks for your continued committment to the parish, and I look forward to hearing your suggestions. Please know that I pray for you often and thank God for the constant help he provides for me through others.

Sincerely in Christ,
RJ

Such an approach can and has turned attitudes around, provided the person in question is generally reasonable and was just having a bad day/week/month. But if that does not get him on the right track -- that is, if his reply is not positive or at least neutral -- then it is necessary to drop him altogether from cantoring. A side effect of that may be that he might also quit the choir, which you may or may not want; or he might carry his infectious attitude to choir. Be ready for either.

People who think they are indispensible, that they can just threaten to "take their ball and go home" if I don't give them what they want, do not survive in our choir. All of our choir members know that what they bring is necessary for the fullest expression of the liturgy, but they also know they are individually dispensible from the choir and accept that they may be asked not to sing for a piece, a Mass, a month, if in my determination they are not prepared. They sign a statement to this effect at the beginning of the choir season.

Everyone is enthusiastic to participate and they all sign willingly, but it is painful for anyone to be asked not to sing for something. I have had the joy of seeing choir members grow in their character through such an experience. They generally gain a better ability to judge themselves and in the future are able to recuse themselves on their own without my asking them. It is a real test of why they participate, stripping away all the external reasons: is it for self or for God?

On the other hand, a few have not been able to handle this experience and have quit the choir. This and other things keep my choir smaller than I would like it. But I will take 2-10 humble, hard-working, honest, reliable amateurs over 20-30 self-important, flaky, whiny, though experienced singers.

My cantors range from good to a warm body in the right place and time when no one else is available - such as some Sundays during the summer. There is no money to hire anyone, so some Sundays will be better than others. I appreciate their willingness to help out, even if all of them are not solo artists. I get with them after Sunday mass the previous week and go over next week's music. I am also available to do the same 30 minutes before mass. Does it always turn out perfectly? No, and it never will.