Parody Hymns
  • TCJ
    Posts: 986
    Everybody else does it, so I might as well too. Today while poring over some hymns to play for one of the coming Masses, what my pastor said to me awhile ago about a certain piece popped into my head. He asked me not to play something because the people didn't know it, not that he didn't like the piece of music. So, of course, I didn't. But while selecting music today and with that running in my head and looking at the hymn, "I Heard the Voice of Jesus Say" the following lyrics popped into my head almost instantly. I don't think it's a masterpiece, but it was a good five minute diversion from work.

    Sung to KINGSFOLD

    I heard the voice of Father say,
    “Don't sing that hymn at Mass!
    “I don't know it; neither do they”
    “Don't sing that hymn at Mass!”
    I said to Father, “As you please.”
    I was very torn and sad.
    He said, “Don't sing that hymn at Mass!”
    but I did not think it that bad!


    Okay, back to work!
  • Jani
    Posts: 441
    I heard the voice of father say
    And where is your guitar?
    How can you sing the latest Haas
    Who do you think you are?
    I looked at father and I cried
    Guitar? Oh no I can't
    Like it or not dear father it
    Doesn't work too well with chant!

    Us poetic types can't be bothered with punctuation and stuff when we are creating. Sorry.
    Thanked by 1ZacPB189
  • ronkrisman
    Posts: 1,394
    "Everyone" may write parody hymns, but they usually refrain from publishing them if they can't master common meter doubled.
    Thanked by 6melofluent matthewj Adam Wood CHGiffen MarkThompson Schönbergian
  • TCJ
    Posts: 986
    Of course. Nobody expects perfection in five minutes (nor was I really going for perfection). Feel free to edit it to publication quality if it pleases you.
  • melofluentmelofluent
    Posts: 4,160
    I heard the voice of Father say,
    “Don't sing that hymn at Mass!
    “I know it not; and nor do they”
    “Don't sing that hymn at Mass!”
    I said to Father, “As you please,”
    So very torn and sad.
    He said, “Ne'er sing that hymn at Mass!”
    Lo, thus I am nay glad!

    2 minutes
    Thanked by 1TCJ
  • SalieriSalieri
    Posts: 3,177
    You can't rhyme a word with itself!

    Are there any other words that rhyme with Mass? (Don't answer that.)
  • TCJ
    Posts: 986
    At the moment, the only thing (rhyming word) I could think of wasn't suitable and I wasn't willing to take the time to think it through thoroughly when I was supposed to be working. I wasn't aware that something done purely for fun and hurriedly scratched out was going to be subject to so much scrutiny. You'd think I was shooting for publication with OCP or GIA!
  • ronkrisman
    Posts: 1,394
    Are there any other words that rhyme with Mass? (Don't answer that.)

    Well, besides the obvious one you don't want mentioned, there's "bass," probably best used in a hymn which refers to Jesus' fishermen disciples.

    "brass" - in a paraphrase of 1 Cor 13?

    "class" - in a PC hymn?

    "crass" - too ad hominem

    "glass" - in a hymn about the heavenly Jerusalem?

    "grass" - something based on Genesis?

    "lass" - only if there's also a "lad"

    'morass" - when weighed down by sin?

    "pass" - we'll let that one go, but it may work in a hymn used at early Sunday morning Masses in cities that will be having a home game for their NFL team

    "sass" - only used in P&W texts
    Thanked by 2melofluent M. Jackson Osborn
  • ronkrisman
    Posts: 1,394
    You'd think I was shooting for publication with OCP or GIA!

    I didn't think that. Honestly.
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    I thought the repetition was funny.
  • melofluentmelofluent
    Posts: 4,160
    That was precisely my intent, K.
    Thanked by 1Kathy
  • TCJ
    Posts: 986
    The repetition was because it...

    1. Was easier.

    2. Sounds like something I'd hear someone repeat no matter the argument.


    Glad someone got a smile. :)


    Also, the following came to me in a few minutes. I don't actually believe it nor do I feel that way about the comments, but, again, I found it amusing. It is, also, in proper meter unless I miscounted! Regardless, I suppose I can use this as an exercise hymn writing (something I've never tried before in case nobody could guess).


    Online people are jerks, I say
    They're really rude and mean
    I just found out that fact today
    They hide behind a screen.
    I was trying to get a laugh
    They made me sad and down
    'cause they made light of my big gaffe
    to make me feel a clown


    Again, I don't think anyone here is a jerk, nor am I sad. I'm actually laughing right now. Actually, the last line is probably true. I've always been a clown!

    Thanked by 1Kathy
  • melofluentmelofluent
    Posts: 4,160
    To "Ard Hy y Nos"

    TCJ, your heart is honest, all through each day.
    Gnostics we, are prone to flaweth*, all we so fey.
    Those who speak with righteous power,
    Often their own souls devour.
    Pay no heed, Christ's love receive, with hope and faith.

    *or "flawest?"
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,414
    Not 'flaweth' nor 'flawest', but, maybe, if another syllable be needed, 'flawness' or 'flawdom'.
    Thanked by 1melofluent
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    Flounder
    Thanked by 2melofluent M. Jackson Osborn
  • matthewjmatthewj
    Posts: 2,700
    Friday is tomorrow.
    Thanked by 1eft94530
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    Matthew, I have serious concerns about your grasp of the concept of meter...
    Thanked by 2matthewj Jeffrey Quick
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    Aurelia:

    When humor's role is heightened
    Musicians start to freak
    Young cantors become frightened
    And organists grow bleak
    The fact that we are joking
    Alas! Cannot be seen
    The fun that we are poking
    Is hid behind a screen
    Thanked by 3TCJ CHGiffen Daniel Bennett Page
  • matthewjmatthewj
    Posts: 2,700
    Hid behind a screen? Like it's veiled?
    Thanked by 1CHGiffen
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    I am so glad to see that someone has been paying attention this whole eternal day. Gold star!
  • melofluentmelofluent
    Posts: 4,160
    I like "flounder," besides its connotation with the legacy character in "Animal House." (He was portly as well.) Nicely saved, Kathy.
    Thanked by 1Kathy
  • melofluentmelofluent
    Posts: 4,160
    Hid behind a screen? Like it's veiled?

    MJM, don't be rood.
    Thanked by 2M. Jackson Osborn CHGiffen
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    Hah!!!
    Thanked by 1melofluent
  • TCJ
    Posts: 986
    So...

    I was just wondering... How much do I have to decrease the quality of my works until a major publisher would consider them? :)

  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    Can you make them sound a little more Buddhist?
  • TCJ
    Posts: 986
    You want me to write about an out-of-body experience or something?
  • StephenMatthew
    Posts: 112
    There are some hymns that make one wonder if the author was having an out of body experience.

    There are other hymns that make you hope the author has the one and only sort of real out of body experience before they publish their next wonder.

    Then there are those small number of hymns that give some hint of transcending the mortal limits, of soaring to the spiritual heights, that heaven has come to you, and you have been raised up to the heavens, that the veil is near to be drawn back and you can faintly glimpse the choirs of angels.
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    TCJ, can you write a hymn about how we can't own any natural resources because we are all one with the river of life? That would did sell.
    Thanked by 1Adam Wood
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    Here's a discussion with admirable parodies for further instruction : http://forum.musicasacra.com/forum/discussion/8898/text-for-discussion-worship-iv-my-elder-son-go-work-today/p1
  • TCJ
    Posts: 986
    Hah! I like MHI's text.

    Kathy, to which hymn might you be referring?
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    Let's just say it's in the current hymnal of a waning series...
  • TCJ
    Posts: 986
    Ah, I see. I have a copy of that from the olden days but I've no desire to acquire a new one.
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    One diplomatic problem with criticizing hymns is the collateral damage. I mean, if you get Presbyterians and Mennonites and ELCA Lutherans to write a bunch of hymns for a Catholic hymnal, you can't call them out for writing according to their own beliefs.

    The most you can do is say to the editorial committee, "Why did you put all of these weird and iffy hymns into a hymnal for Catholic worship?"
  • ronkrisman
    Posts: 1,394
    Follow-up question: And why didn't you put any of MY hymns in the book?

    Because when we studied your entire published opera, we could not find a good one.
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    Touche!

    No, I'm not peeved about that. I would have been, if it were a good hymnal. But as it turned out, I'm really cool with that. I'm in several good hymnals now, and that's likely to increase. Plus I reach my target audience in other ways. My goals are to help people to pray, and to make money. Both of these I've been graciously given the opportunity to accomplish.

    What truly bothers me is that I sang from Worship II for years, in the first parish that introduced me to excellent hymnody. Then for a dozen years I sang from Worship III intensively, first in a 3-hymn club-sandwich daily-Mass situation, and then as a DM. I really respected the series and thought that it was a positive force for the good of Catholicism.

    From Adam Wood, I hear the same is true of the bilingual hymnal that you produced--and which is the only one that you and I ever discussed submissions for, if you will kindly recall. Even though Adam is a whacky liberal, I respect his judgment, and am happy for you that you were able to accomplish this.

    Congratulations are not in order, in my sincere opinion, for your work on the texts for Worship IV. It could have been great, but it is not, at least not textually. Perhaps it is a step up musically, and I can easily accept that this is your forte.

    My personal reading of the situation is that the editorial committee probably turned too much of the decision making over to the Hymn Society of the United States and Canada, using their text writers instead of scouting for good Catholic writers, who are definitely out there. Plus the "hymn of the day" idea was an editorially weak one that hampered the whole business.

    My concern here is that people are formed by what they sing. I want them to be formed well. So I had high hopes for this hymnal, and they were seriously disappointed.
    Thanked by 1CHGiffen
  • Daniel Bennett PageDaniel Bennett Page
    Posts: 835
    I'm thinking that the Little White Visitor song-thing in the other topic was supposed to be posted in here.
    Thanked by 1matthewj
  • awilliamsawilliams
    Posts: 101
    Do not forget the old-time favorite of parish "community leaders":

    "Our opening hymn is: I heard the voice of Jesus say, 'Please stand."
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