You know things are bad when . . .
  • JulieCollJulieColl
    Posts: 2,465
    . . . you hear the ice-cream truck go by and you think, "Hey, that sounds like the music at the World Youth Day Mass."
    Thanked by 2expeditus1 ZacPB189
  • Scott_WScott_W
    Posts: 468
    ...your ears are bleeding to "Lead me on" and just when you think it can't get any worse, the over-enthusiastic piano player throws in a 5-octave glissando at the end.
    Thanked by 2JulieColl ZacPB189
  • ClergetKubiszClergetKubisz
    Posts: 1,912
    ... you hear the exact same music at a Protestant revival church down the street.
  • JulieCollJulieColl
    Posts: 2,465
    . . . you wouldn't be surprised to see Ferris Bueller singing 'Twist and Shout' at your next diocesan Youth Day event.
  • JulieCollJulieColl
    Posts: 2,465
    (I was going to put up a video of Ferris' famous street scene, but it's just a mite inappropriate. Ahem.)
  • ryandryand
    Posts: 1,640
    This Little Light of Mine is the closing hymn (true story)
    Thanked by 2francis expeditus1
  • ContraBombarde
    Posts: 471
    This Little Light of Mine


    This use to be a staple in the 90's where I am at. Thank goodness the light blew out.
    Thanked by 2francis barreltone
  • francis
    Posts: 10,824
    Mine was worse. The deacon led the singing of prepare ye the way from godspell from the pulpit. You should have seen the eyeballs rolling.
    Thanked by 2ContraBombarde barreltone
  • Scott_WScott_W
    Posts: 468
    ...when the song before the Gospel reading is the vacation bible school song Hallelujah Praise Ye the Lord. (True story)
    Thanked by 1ContraBombarde
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,414
    ... when you enter a church and don't see any organ pipes.
    Thanked by 7CHGiffen ContraBombarde Gavin francis Ralph Bednarz barreltone ZacPB189
  • donr
    Posts: 971
    ...you go to an advertised "Traditional Mass" only to see the band warming up to "On Eagles Wings".
    Thanked by 5JulieColl ContraBombarde DougS bkenney27 ZacPB189
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,414
    .
  • JulieCollJulieColl
    Posts: 2,465
    . . . the Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate are forbidden to say the EF Latin Mass. : (

    (Let's hope this is a huge misunderstanding. Cf. Rorate Caeli.)
    Thanked by 1KARU27
  • ryandryand
    Posts: 1,640
    Who forbade them that? And why?
  • BenBen
    Posts: 3,114
    I take things from RC with a grain bucket of salt.
    Thanked by 2Andrew Motyka marajoy
  • Scott_WScott_W
    Posts: 468
    I take things from RC with a grain of salt.


    Ditto. I am very wary of any reportage on Pope Francis whether it comes from secular/dissident rags or even traditional sources for which I have sympathy. Pope Benedict was very careful and exact both in word and deed and still his words and actions were distorted by the press. Pope Francis is much more off-the-cuff so to speak, which makes me extra skeptical of every second-hand thing I read about him. Between the language barrier and everyone in the press with an agenda to push, he's like the thermometer in The Magic Mountain that has no measurement markings and the quack doctors simply say it reads however they want it read.
  • AP23AP23
    Posts: 119
    ... when you enter a church and don't see any organ pipes.


    Not so bad. The pipes could be hidden, or the organ could be virtual (with regular pipe sounds).
    Thanked by 2R J Stove ZacPB189
  • JulieCollJulieColl
    Posts: 2,465
    Apparently, the Congregation for Religious Institutes has published a decree ordering all members of the Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate to celebrate the Novus Ordo exclusively.

    A translation of the relevant passage from the decree from Messa in Latino:

    In addition to the above, also on July 3 [of this year], the Holy Father Francis determined that every religious of the Congregation of the Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate is bound to celebrate the liturgy according to the ordinary rite and that, eventually, the use of the extraordinary form (Vetus Ordo) must be explicitly authorized by the competent authorities for every religious and/or community that requests it.
  • ryandryand
    Posts: 1,640
    Doesn't that contradict summorum pontificum? Or is it different for religious orders?

    And either way, they did say ACCORDING TO THE ORDINARY RITE which, if actually done, is beautiful.
  • Bobby Bolin
    Posts: 419
    you see a nun dancing and playing guitar on the altar (also true story)
    Thanked by 1ZacPB189
  • chonakchonak
    Posts: 9,216
    what, sitting on it?
    Thanked by 1Gavin
  • bkenney27bkenney27
    Posts: 444
    ... when you enter a church and don't see any organ pipes.

    Or when you do, but they remain silent in favor of a piano.... (as is currently the case at our 5PM Mass...)
    Thanked by 1ZacPB189
  • JulieCollJulieColl
    Posts: 2,465
    @ryand

    Doesn't that contradict summorum pontificum?


    This is obviously way beyond my competency to judge, but if, as some fear, the Holy Father's command to the FFI is indeed an abrogation, or breach, of Summorum Pontificum, that would raise multiple issues.

    However, if it's any consolation, I would imagine that (in a worst case scenario) while Pope Francis might lawfully abrogate Summorum Pontificum---since one pope can not bind one of his successors in matters of discipline---it is an entirely separate question as to whether he could abrogate the traditional Mass.

    The reason I say this is because even such an authority as Card. Ratzinger himself is on record as doubting that this could be the case.
  • chonakchonak
    Posts: 9,216
    There are distinct provisions in Summorum related to religious orders, so it would be necessary to examine those before evaluating the decree. Please see also the comments on the subject by Fr. Angelo Geiger, FI (a supporter of keeping the Ordinary Form for the order) and Fr. Z.

  • ronkrisman
    Posts: 1,394
    @Julie Coll: I have not seen the actual decree, so I'm not sure about the details of what is being reported. However, here are a few of the facts: Fr. Stefano Manelli founded the Franciscans of the Immaculate. They were not founded as an EF community. Years later, after Summorum Pontificum, their founder imposed the EF on all the friars. Some friars objected since, when they entered the order, they had not foreseen or chosen the EF. They took their grievance to the congregation for religious institutes at the Apostolic See and were successful in having the decision of their founder (and still their superior general) overturned. It's been reported that in the future "the superior" has to approve requests for the use of EF, but does "superior" refer to the "superior general" (we know where he stands on the issue) or the superior of a particular house?
  • Scott_WScott_W
    Posts: 468
    Back to the topic of the entry--you know things are bad when the nave has black and white posters of saints on the walls and includes Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. (True story.)
  • JulieCollJulieColl
    Posts: 2,465
    Excellent question, Father, and I don't know the answer to it.

    By the way, thanks to Chonak's link above, I read Fr. Z's summation of the situation and found it very helpful, esp. his advice to traditional Latin Mass communities.
  • Spriggo
    Posts: 122
    …you know things are bad when the priest celebrant for the 4:00pm Mass on Christmas Eve - the dreaded “Children’s Mass” - decides that, in order to keep said children engaged, he will (with the pastor's permission) hire a magician to perform his act instead of preaching a homily. After the Gospel reading, the magician calls all of the kids to come sit on the floor in front of the Sanctuary while he performs in front of the altar. He asks for a woman to volunteer and, once she is front and center (in the Sanctuary in front of the altar), he has her help him put on a straight jacket (with some very inappropriate double-entendre humor). Then, while Elvis’ “Jailhouse Rock” is blaring from a boom box that has been plopped on the altar, he escapes from the straight jacket – all this while the priest is frantically snapping flash pictures and jockeying around the altar. The Holy Sacrifice of the Mass meets Fellini. This actually happened about 10 years ago in my parish. Things are much better now.
    Thanked by 2JulieColl ZacPB189
  • francis
    Posts: 10,824
    Holy Batcave, Spriggo... I am glad it is better, but sometimes 'better' can go just as bad in another direction. God, forgive us, we do not know what the heck we are doing.
    Thanked by 1Spriggo
  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    ...when the icon of the Expectant Virgin has a yin-yang symbol where her womb would be. True, sad story.
    Thanked by 1Gavin
  • CindyCeciliaCindyCecilia
    Posts: 65
    . . . . when a visiting priest makes up his own version of the Creed in a question and answer form (sadly, true story)
  • chonakchonak
    Posts: 9,216
    I wonder if it would be useful to create a website to chronicle notorious liturgical abuses, so that people would be able to know when and where they happened. Knowing that an event took place three months ago once or 30 years ago routinely might help to put it into perspective
  • Scott_WScott_W
    Posts: 468
    ...when a parish stages a production of Guys and Dolls in the sanctuary. (True story)
    Thanked by 1ZacPB189
  • francis
    Posts: 10,824
    ouch
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    ...when you do something written in the last 30 years, and are thanked after Mass for "finally programming some traditional music."

    ...when you program "All in All" or "In Christ Alone," and are asked after Mass, "when are you ever going to program some Praise & Worship music?"
    Thanked by 2Scott_W ZacPB189
  • Scott_WScott_W
    Posts: 468
    ...when the youth group stages a mime version of the Passion in the sanctuary complete with Mime-Jesus wearing a Superman t-shirt like in Godspell. A horrifyingly true story. But to be fair it has been cancelled the last two years do to "lack of participation". Once again kids outshine adults in wisdom.
    Thanked by 1Earl_Grey
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    "lack of participation"


    I'm guessing the reaction to this lack was something like, "The youth aren't interested in Church. We need to do something to get them engaged. I know! Why don't we do a mimed dramatization of the Passion! I remember how much the kids liked that! Why ever did we stop doing it?!"
  • noel jones, aagonoel jones, aago
    Posts: 6,611
    Then, while Elvis’ “Jailhouse Rock” is blaring from a boom box that has been plopped on the altar, he escapes from the straight jacket – all this while the priest is frantically snapping flash pictures and jockeying around the altar. The Holy Sacrifice of the Mass meets Fellini. This actually happened about 10 years ago in my parish. Things are much better now.


    I'm sure the straightjacket came in handy in dealing with that idiot priest. How long did you have to lock him up in it? Want to market them as a useful liturgical aid?

    Straightjacket by Melofluent. Who has, hopefully, gotten over the "interesting" comment.
  • Spriggo
    Posts: 122
    I'm sure the straightjacket came in handy in dealing with that idiot priest.

    Unfortunately, the magician took it with him.


  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,414
    ... when you gently chide a congenial pastor for having bought an organ simulacrum instead of an organ to replace the eighty-year-old basket case and he cheerfully retorts: 'Oh! But we ARE in the digital age! This IS the age of technology!'
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    Pipe Organs are technology. And, since they are played with one's fingers, they are also quite "digital."
    Thanked by 5barreltone Kathy M. Jackson Osborn ZacPB189 IanW
  • marajoymarajoy
    Posts: 783
    ...when you do something written in the last 30 years, and are thanked after Mass for "finally programming some traditional music."

    Several times recently I've had friends of mine (who admittedly aren't very musically literate) say things to me like, "Oh we were thinking of you when we went to this new church! I think you'd really like it - they do a lot of traditional music like Be Not Afraid and On Eagles Wings."
    {head-desk}
    Thanked by 2JulieColl ZacPB189
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,482
    Yup.
  • Chris Garton-Zavesky
    Posts: 6,902
    Traditional Catholic favorites, like "The Old Rugged Cross", "Amazing Grace", "On Eagle's Wings" and more.....

  • Kathy
    Posts: 5,509
    ..the children agitate for Gregorian chant, while the charter parishioners agitate for the children to sing the Greatest Hits of Glory and Praise.
    Thanked by 1CHGiffen
  • chonakchonak
    Posts: 9,216
    That's not so bad. That's somewhat good!
    Thanked by 1IanW
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,414
    Thanks, Adam -
    Since you have pointed out that organs are quite 'digital', I can now, when someone is crowing about a new 'digital organ', retort that 'oh! so you play it with your fingers! how novel!'
    Thanked by 1IanW
  • M. Jackson Osborn
    Posts: 8,414
    ... when 'they' change the forum colour scheme.
  • ryandryand
    Posts: 1,640
    @marajoy

    Those are so last-millennium. There's a new book called the Simple English Propers that is much more contemporary. Plenty of newly composed ordinaries in a 21st century book called the Vatican II Hymnal. Perhaps it's time for you to step out of that old rut and get with the times!
    Thanked by 1CHGiffen
  • WendiWendi
    Posts: 638
    Those are so last-millennium. There's a new book called the Simple English Propers that is much more contemporary. Plenty of newly composed ordinaries in a 21st century book called the Vatican II Hymnal. Perhaps it's time for you to step out of that old rut and get with the times!


    Oh THANK you. That made me laugh, and I really needed that this morning. (Summer colds are just awful.)
    Thanked by 1CHGiffen
  • teachermom24
    Posts: 327
    "Oh we were thinking of you when we went to this new church! I think you'd really like it - they do a lot of traditional music like Be Not Afraid and On Eagles Wings."


    A couple weeks ago my son was asked to play for a funeral. The music list he was given for the funeral, selected by the deceased's sister, a Carmelite nun, included "Be Not Afraid", "On Eagle's Wings" and "Eye Has Not Seen". When I called the sister to tell her my son was not familiar with "Be Not Afraid" nor "Eye Has Not Seen" and wouldn't have enough time to prepare them (esp since it was guaranteed the congregation would not be able to sing well and our parish has dispensed with the choir), she was very surprised and said, "Oh, but those are all traditional hymns." "Well, what CAN he play?" So I'm thumbing through the index of Music Issue while she's waiting on the phone. "I Know That My Redeemer Lives" . . . silence. "Be Still My Soul" . . . silence. "Danny Boy" crossed my mind recalling my son played that for his first funeral at our parish, but my eyes landed on "How Great Thou Art" ("OK, we can do that for the closing") and "Lord of All Hopefulness" ("I'll ask Mother if that's appropriate for Mass"). Oh well, Mother approved so we used that for Communion.
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