I like this! I was a follower of the devotion to Mary, Undoer of Knots for many years before I even heard of Pope Francis. It isn't a new devotion, but is definitely powerful. Did you suggest music for this hymn, or did I miss that?
I've come across this devotion prior to Pope Francis as well and I agree with Charles - it is powerful.
As a side note- rather than arcane, I think the more formal language in prayer is one of the last vestiges of respect still offered to God, and replacing Thy and Thou, etc, shouldn't be done lightly.
I understand the wittiness of using the word "spell," but it's not really appropriate for hymns. People susceptible to getting sucked into occult practices and thinking are always looking for justifications, and people who want to mock the Church do much the same. Also, there have been accusations in the past that the Untier devotion is used as "magic" by some, so you really wouldn't want to provide food for such accusations.
I like it a lot in every other respect. Good stuff!
By the way, most of those hyphens aren't really required; the program will insert them automatically if they are needed. But if you prefer to have them af-ter ev-ery syl-la-ble break, then you can add them expressly as JMO recommends in the video.
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