My pastor and I are working on a written parish policy for the funeral liturgy, copies of which will be supplied to all the local funeral homes. In essence, it will state that the choice of music for funerals is the pastor's and will normally be made by his delegate, the music director. Every funeral follows a set formula of the proper texts from the ritual, either in Latin or English, at the Entrance, Communion, Subvenite and Recessional, and it is all printed out in an Order Of Worship in the pews. If the family really desires a certain hymn, it may be sung at the Preparation Of The Gifts. A second hymn request, if they must have it, may be accommodated in the period after Communion.

We have had enough of funeral Masses being treated as vehicles for the wearisome funeral hit parade of Eagle's Wings, Be Not Afraid, Amazing Grace, How Great Thou Art and Prayer Of St. Francis. It is time for the music of the funeral rites to return to the order that the Church has given it. However, we also acknowledge that a funeral is no time to start a fight, that the turnaround will be slow, and that formation and example are better agents of change than bitter confrontation.

Michael-
Exactly.

Also, we must bear in mind that the funeral directors not only deal with various Catholic parishes whose liturgical standards are as different from each other as apples and oranges, but with Protestant churches in many of which anything goes and there are in fact no rules at all. I wonder sometimes if funeral directors simply use a one-size-fits-all approach with families. My pastor and I are making it our mission to clarify to the funeral directors that a] the Catholic liturgy has rules; and b] the fact that other Catholic parishes don't necessarily follow them is irrelevant.

I should add that whatever you CAN do for a funeral, DO IT! After my parish learned the chant ordinary, I instituted a rule that it was to be used as a norm. My boss chants the "In Paradisum" at every funeral without exception. So even if the family requests 4 hymns (and I only say no to that which is outlandishly bad) and I'm stuck with bad music, the ordinary will at least be good.

For example, at my last funeral the family asked to have a relative cantor the funeral. Apparently she cantored for a regular Americana parish (quite superb voice too) and selected the typical four songs. I elected to sing the "Lux Aeterna" at Communion. We used the Jubilate Deo ordinary, and my boss of course chanted "In Paradisum" And I informed the cantor that it was my parish's practice that the cantor NOT lead the singing from the microphone at hymns. The funeral was so packed that people even sang for "Be Not Afraid" at communion (we had 3 pieces for communion in fact). Anyway, my boss tells me that people were SHOCKED and thanked him for the solemnity of the Mass. Even though the 4 songs were "trash" (although I love How Great Thou Art), everything else about the liturgy SCREAMED "This is important." So every little bit will help, and when people visit your parish for a funeral they're not going to return home and talk about how they sang the Prayer of St. Francis at the funeral. They're going to talk about the Latin, the chant, and maybe even say "that was nice.. maybe we should try that sometime."

My father died back in 1985. I had a dream during the time we were making our trip from Texas to Illinois. It was like I was totally in control, working things out, going around in a daze - until the Mass started. At that point I saw a musician friend of mine, whose musicality I highly respected, starting to play traditional music for a funeral, at which point I finally broke down and cried. When I awoke from that dream, the first thing I did was contact the Cathedral organist back in Illinois, a long time friend of mine but not the one in my dream, to request he play for my father's funeral, which he did. My mother and I worked out the music/hymns. My younger brother was somewhat offended that I was coming in from so far away and dictating what was being done. But he had stopped attending church on a regular basis years before. When I stopped at the home parish church to see what books were in the pews then, one of the priests pointed out "Glory and Praise". When I told him that we would not be needing anything from that, he was quite offended. I didn't care one bit!

Some months later, my mother and I picked out everything for her future funeral and she gave the whole list to the funeral director to hold for the occasion. She didn't want another squabble over her music. Ten years later, the same organist was employed to do all that she requested. The only thing we added that she was not aware of was "Amazing Grace" after Communion, which her grandson, my son Joshua, performed on his bagpipes with the organ accompanying.

Now, I'm sure that this whole story can be turned around to argue for exactly the music I/we abhore. But when the Requiem Mass was jetisoned, we lost our compass for working through bereavement. The Pandora's box of musical selection was then opened, and we're pretty much stuck with it. The Liturgical norms have allowed familial traditions to be created and now imposed right back onto those Liturgical norms. Me ex-wife's paternal grandmother was the first of that generation to die, and "Be Not Afraid" was one of the songs chosen. It has since been sung at every funeral in that family.

The only way to overcome this problem is to use the Requiem Mass, as it stands in the current Missale Romanum, but with the vernacular choices of Readings from the "Order for Christian Burial". BTW, why are there fewer Readings offered in that book? Why are the original Readings not included? And why, Oh why, is it for Christian rather than Catholic burial?!?!