STB: Yet Untitled, Seeking Criticism on Harmony
  • E_A_FulhorstE_A_Fulhorst
    Posts: 381
    Let me know what you think. It ain't much, but it sounds purdy and is easy to sing. We have a young schola that's only just getting into splitting the voices, so something simple is necessary.

    Any suggestions strike your mind?
    CrucifyHim.pdf
    13K
  • YellowRoseofTexasYellowRoseofTexas
    Posts: 91
    It is pretty. My only suggestion so far - maybe it could be translated into 4/4?
    Thanked by 1E_A_Fulhorst
  • E_A_FulhorstE_A_Fulhorst
    Posts: 381
    My thought was that the phrases would make less sense that way if it were a strict conversion, and that if I condensed each measure into half notes and quarters it would be taken at too fast a tempo. But I shall take it under consideration, certainly!

    Given the melody, is there any way to stick an alto part in there somewhere but keep the darn thing singable?

    Anyone have any ideas about the harmonies at all? It doesn't sound terribly robust, but having three parts may do that to you.

    (Also, to be frank, I have my eye on getting into the new hymnal I've seen some people going on about. Any suggestions in light of this?)
  • E_A_FulhorstE_A_Fulhorst
    Posts: 381
    Also, I'm finding more and more parallelisms the more I look. Argh!
  • E_A_FulhorstE_A_Fulhorst
    Posts: 381
    And, not to belabor the point, but here's a slightly revised version plus audio.
    CrucifyHim2.pdf
    13K
  • E_A_FulhorstE_A_Fulhorst
    Posts: 381
    (Still considering the 4/4.)

    Audio didn't attach, so here it is again:
    CrucifyHim.mp3
    3M
  • VermilionSparrow
    Posts: 3
    Speaking as someone who normally sings alto, it's refreshing to see a composer trying to make the alto part actually singable (that is, having an actual counter-melody, as opposed to random notes that complete chords), as this is something a lot of recently-composed pieces don't seem to bother with. Of course, a lot of the older stuff reduces the alto part to a single note for most of the hymn, so if you can manage to avoid both extremes in adding an alto voice, you'll be ahead of the curve (at least in my opinion).

    However, it is nice the way it is. I think it would end up being played as if it were 4/4 in some settings anyway, whether you ultimately choose to publish it that way or not.
    Thanked by 1E_A_Fulhorst
  • E_A_FulhorstE_A_Fulhorst
    Posts: 381
    Any notes on the lyrics as entered below? I'm thinking that the third verse would make more sense in the middle, and I'm considering adding a fourth, but it's long as it is. I like the second the best and may move that to the top to avoid burying the lede --- I'm very much open to suggestions, having just popped this out albeit after some days of reflection.

    For that matter, anyone spot any heresy?

    1. O Jesus, who makes Himself known at the altar,
    You gave us your life, gave us everything.
    You made all the world and the world made to end you,
    We ask your forgiveness, O Highest King.

    Before we took breath, you knew how we might sin.
    From Adam you knew humanity.
    And yet you come down to our table, our altar,
    and come bringing all, bringing everything.

    2. O Lord God of Truth who does all with a purpose
    You open the window to Calvary.
    So brisk was the wind and so bleeding your body,
    We take this as your highest guarantee.

    If Judas betray or Pilate wash his hands,
    Should Ceasar inflict a misery,
    Show us how your cross had such cause yet a purpose,
    And open the window to Calvary.

    3. O God who would hide so as not to convict us
    You come between us and our punishment.
    You fell to your knees to show love as a burden,
    You hold yourself back for our free consent.

    Show us not the peak which shows how great we sin
    In turning from you, O Firmament.
    Suffices the step to begin to convict us,
    Which moves us to flee from our punishment.
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