How to remove eulogies from funerals...
  • noel jones, aagonoel jones, aago
    Posts: 6,605
    It's easy to tell Father that the parish is in violation of the GIRM, but difficult to overcome the pastoral response, "Well, the people are used to this and we can't just change things..."

    You are talking to the wrong person if you truly want support in getting this abuse stopped.

    The people that need to know about this problem are the funeral directors. They are very interested in providing all the services to families that they can, and here is an ideal opportunity for them to shine:

    As the family meets with the funeral director, the subject of religion of the deceased comes up and, the moment that the word Catholic is uttered, the savvy funeral director says, "Ah! Then we will have the rosary/prayer service at 7:30 during the viewing here and the eulogy at 8."

    "But..but...the eulogy is usually after Mass."

    "Yes, in some places it is and has been done that way, but for Catholics the proper time to share the eulogy is among the friends and family at the viewing. And, today so many more people are able attend the viewing it's the best time for the eulogy."

    "But....little Suzy was going to sing her grandfather's favorite song Tomorrow, from Annie, which is very appropriate for a eulogy."

    ".......[silence as funeral director recovers his or her wits]...."

    "But...won't Father be upset?"

    "Actually, this isn't our idea, it's always been the rule and tradition of the Catholic church and, even though I myself am not Catholic, I understand the need to honor the wishes of the church of the deceased in planning funerals. We coordinate this and the funeral Mass with Father and he is pleased that we are working with him in making sure that time can be spent eulogizing the life of your [insert family member here] here in the comfort of our facility, surrounded by friends and family."
  • Charles in CenCA
    Posts: 2,416
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  • noel jones, aagonoel jones, aago
    Posts: 6,605
    Every minute a funeral Mass drags on with eulogies, the meter is running...aside from a few salaried staff members, the drivers, rental limousines, crew waiting at the cemetery to disassemble the tent, roll up the fake green grass, pack the chairs and bring them back to the mortuary are paid hourly...

    Having the viewing run over a few minutes or more costs the mortuary little in comparison to the cost of Mass running over time...very, very little.

    Funeral directors are much more apt to act if it means giving them a chance of keeping their costs under control.

    Sorry you seem to have had some bad experiences out there.

    If we do not look forward to better things, we are left looking backwards over the havoc we have left behind in our (pun not intended) wake.

    [my wife was organist at a Catholic funeral Mass last week. The homily by the priest and then eulogy after Mass by a fundamentalist non-catholic bible-thumping preacher were evaluated by her saying, "Neither of them had anything to say."]
  • Charles in CenCA
    Posts: 2,416
    .
  • noel jones, aagonoel jones, aago
    Posts: 6,605
    We're at odds here...I've always tried to create a funeral choir of available singers and been there for them and the organist...I saw funerals as an opportunity to reach non-Catholics in attendance with the difference between the music that they, here in a predominantly Baptist area, would never hear in church.

    The last OF funeral was for a woman who loved the choir, we sang the Latin requiem with propers and did the Hylton 23rd Psalm in place of the Responsorial Psalm.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apC3D-9lYEc

    Congregation had music for Ordinary in their hands and sang. We were surprised, but pleased.

    I was not paid for funerals - cantor and organist were. Volunteered to do them to build the program.
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