Attempt at a St. Edith Stein hymn
  • Maureen
    Posts: 674
    Over on the St. Agnes hymn thread, Mary Ann Carr Wilson asked for a St. Teresa Benedicta hymn. I don't know that this is what she had in mind, but it gave me an idea last night and I worked it out this morning. Thus I exhibit the lousiness of my Latin-learning and the greatness of my respect for this saint. I'm afraid there's some scansion and quantity problems, but I'm too sleepy now to see them. Going back to bed.

    O filia Filiae Sion,
    O lilium Lilii Carmel
    Inter filis metallicis spinas,
    O magna Edith Stein, martyr.

    O atheorum intercessor,
    Gasata in odium fidei!
    In talionem episcopis,
    Naziis necata tu es.

    O tu discipula diligens,
    O tu philosopha prudens,
    Vivens scholastica sapiens,
    Fidelum magistra moriens.

    O Teresia Benedicta,
    Europae Patrona invicta,
    O, ora pro gentis adflictis,
    O virgo cognominis Crucis.

    A prose translation:

    O daughter of Daughter Zion, (because she was Jewish)
    O lily of the Lily of Carmel, (because she was a Carmelite, and the Virgin Mary runs that)
    Among the thorns of wire, (ie, barbed wire and the Biblical "lily among thorns")
    O Edith Stein, great martyr.

    O intercessor of atheists, (because she had an atheist phase)
    Gassed in hatred of the Faith!
    In retaliation against the bishops,
    You were killed by the Nazis.

    O you diligent disciple,
    O you prudent philosopher,
    Living a wise scholar,
    Dying a teacher of the Faithful.

    O Teresia Benedicta,
    Unconquered patron of Europe,
    O pray for afflicted people, (or nations, or Gentiles, so it's a good word)
    O virgin named "of the Cross".
  • chonakchonak
    Posts: 9,157
    A good start. Do you have any 9.9.9.9 tunes in mind?

    In general, it's good to avoid neologisms like "Nazis", and even the saint's surname: as far as I know, they're avoided in liturgical texts, perhaps because they are, compared to the patristic era, a late invention!

    Here are some suggestions for v. 1:

    1. O Filiae Sion filia
    Et Carmeli Floris lilium
    Inter filas ferri spinarum
    Tu magna martyr Teresia.

    * Carmeli, for grammar; Floris, for meter
    * "Inter" takes accusative: e.g.,"inter omnes mitis"
    * The religious name deserves priority.
    * I'm not sure "magna martyr" -- high praise -- really belongs in the first verse of a hymn.
  • I believe the official Vatican Latin word is Hitleriani.
  • Thanks for doing this, Maureen. :)
    My husband and I wrote one act of an opera for SDSU back in 2001. Mostly I handled the libretto and found myself increasingly drawn into the remarkable life of Edith Stein while doing the research.

    I don't have any prowess in poetry, though I sing poetic text and appreciate it deeply. One phrase strikes me as needing finesse- 'gassed in hatred of the Faith'. While truthful, it is more jarring than pointing to a triumphant martyrdom. Just a thought.

    I am hesitant to offer any replacements, but something along the lines of surrendering breath to God, expiring for the Faith, faithful through her final poisoned breath, might illuminate her last struggle without such a direct verb. You could make something much less clumsy out of my thoughts, I have confidence in that! :)
  • rob
    Posts: 148
    Excellent, but I too have some reservations with the second verse. For me, it's not so much "gassed" since many hymns in this genre are quite explicit in terms of the means and instruments of martyrdom. (Think Lucy and Agatha, holding their peculiar salvers.)

    If anything, maybe "gassed" is too clinical. I like Mrs. Wilson's suggestions, though, focusing perhaps on poisoning/choking of the purported victim who ultimately triumphs against her tormentors who are poisoned/choked by their own sins. Maybe even trying to add some dimension of the Holy Spirit in the idea of life-giving breath/spirit ("ruah") or, negatively, the envenomed whispers of the Father of Lies.

    More difficult for me, though, is the line: "In retaliation against the bishops/You were killed by the Nazis." While accurate, it seems so literal as to obliterate the true meaning of her martyrdom (So, she didn't die for the Faith, but for the political resistance of certain clerics? That a certain political philosophy/partiy is credited with her martrydom such that little meaning may be attached to it by far distant generations?).

    While the accounts of most martyrs also encompass the "back story," it seems to me that the best hymns to their memory are better at balancing the universal/particular significance ("noesis" v. "noema"?) of their sacrifice.

    Still overall, many congratulations (and good luck)!
  • Rob's point is more eloquent, and where I was trying to go with my critique. Ditto.
  • rob
    Posts: 148
    P.S. I couldn't recall it at the time, but consider this handling of the account of St. Cecelia's martyrdom:

    "She remains long enclosed in the bath, while the furnace rages beneath; but stronger is the divine fire that burns in the virgin's heart."

    Or, perhaps in the other direction, this verse concerning the martyrdom of St. Venantius, with a view towards amplifying verse two:

    "Next downwards hung, he is exposed
    To clouds of smoke beneath disposed,
    Whilst with slow torches, burning clear,
    His naked breasts and sides they sear."

    [While looking for these, I found this pungent summary of the martrydom of St. Felicula, Virgin & Martyr, c.90.: "A Christian girl of Rome who was raised as a foster sister of another martyr, St. Petronilla. A Roman nobleman, Flaccus demanded that Felicula either marry him or sacrifice to the gods. She refused both options. Thus she was thrown into a dungeon without water or food for a week. Then she tortured and suffocated in the city sewer." There may be something in this to work with, e.g. the horrors of the time emanating as noxious fumes from the bowels of sin? It seems to strike me somehow as particularly German.]

    Or, playing again to the sense of smell -- how many sins/errors do we fail to avoid because we cannot "see" them? -- perhaps you could play off the gases used by the Nazis to exterminate, carbon monoxide and hydrogen cyanide: one seeming to supply true breath and the other carrying a sweet perfume?
  • Maureen
    Posts: 674
    So many good suggestions! No question about this board's interest in poetics....

    I'm going to have to think about this a bit, but I'm glad I didn't just grab and modify a St. Catherine of Alexandria hymn, as was my first impulse. ;)

    Re: 9.9.9.9

    At 4:30 in the morning, one does not consider these little matters. One is simply glad to be in the same county as scansion. :) But I am going to go looking. If I don't find anything good (and yeah, it's not a normal meter), I'm sure I can kludge something one way or another.
  • chonakchonak
    Posts: 9,157
    Here's a start for one in 8.8.8.8, taking off from Maureen's idea. Much of this doesn't work well rhythmically, so it needs revision.

    1. Ave, martyr Teresia,
    Carmeli lilium Floris,
    Inter has spinas ferreas,
    Filiae Sion filia.

    2. In nocte sine fide (oops: grammar was wrong here, and now it's only 7 syllables and doesn't rhyme with the fourth line)
    Quaesisti sapientiae:
    Philosophia duxit te
    Ad studium ipsi rei.

    3. Carmeli vidisti vias
    in vita Matris Avilae
    Et libro lecto in nocte
    Dixisti: Hic est veritas.

    4. Scripsisti de Scientia
    Crucis, et Enti AEterne,
    de doctrinis Sancti Thomae,
    et mulierorum vita.

    5. Teresia Benedicta,
    ora pro gentis adflictis,
    Virgo cognominis Crucis,
    Victrix Europae Patrona.
  • Maureen
    Posts: 674
    Oh, that's quite nice. I like that. And "spinas ferreas" says it exactly. Also, it's very good to get in the names of the books, in the case of a writer saint. :)

    And I think you've made it so it will go with any settings of the "Ave mater gloriosa"/"Ave martyr gloriosus"/"Ave martyr gloriosa" family, which probably includes Godric's "Sainte Marie Virgine". So that simplifies matters immensely.

    So... this is definitely proof of concept, when it comes to writing Latin hymns for the newer saints in the calendar.
  • chonakchonak
    Posts: 9,157
    A line of my draft needs correction due to a grammar error (see above).