Interesting site. I had a long correspondence with one of the authors there.

I can understand what he means, somewhat. It's obvious he was hurt by not getting "Danny Boy". I don't know about other commenters here, but I prefer not to hurt those already suffering a loss. Would I program it if requested? Probably not, but I'd have trouble sleeping knowing that, in the family's minds, I just spat on the memory of their father. Maybe others are comforted by the rules they rigorously follow.

The solution is a point I've made many times before: families should not be forced into music planning. "...songs my mother didn't know and I don't like" seems to indicate people ill-suited to the task. Can you imagine such a person, in any ideology, programming music for church? Do symphonies seek the council of grieving purple to determine their programs? There's no other word for such an approach but "cruel". Can you imagine an undertaker asking the family the specifics of how embalming should be done?? It's wrong to put people in that situation - ALL LITURGICAL CONCERNS ASIDE!

Please, stop letting the family decide the music. No one will be hurt, they probably don't care. If they have a specific and relatively appropriate (and be kind about that) request, accommodate them with a glad charity. Otherwise program music which fulfills the needs of a funeral liturgy (prayer for the dead and comfort to the living), and I suggest the Gregorian propers are outstanding for both purposes.

What we have here is an offense which should not have had a chance to happen.

The writer's self-centeredness may have distorted his judgment, but his funeral request was mishandled. If I remember correctly, at least two of the Big Three publishers offer an appropriate text paired to the tune Londonderry Air. For those of us working in Irish Boston, its a welcome option and a reasonable compromise. No it's not chant, but our aesthetic wars should not be waged with the grieving.

This blogger doesn't have a problem with Catholicism, so much as he/she's untaught in the field of sacred music. He wants to know the whys and wherefores, and all that he's been told is very vague. When he does get definite rules, apparently it's not really explained to him very well -- or at least, not so that he can feel the beauty of it. What he knows is devotional music, which is a nice start; but that's all that most of us Catholic know, these days. That's the problem.

Even with one of the crazier requests that are absolutely secular secular secular, there's usually some way to do it. People can play things from the church steps that aren't allowed in church; and most people are perfectly happy with the "show" and drama of that. There's also plenty of room to play non-funeral music before the funeral starts; or even after the funeral, outside church or at the graveside. Heck, you could even sing a Latin text to "Londonderry Air". Or an Our Father, or a Hail Mary, or some Irish prayer/poem you dig up. That might be a very nice pre-Mass motet. (And the "In Paradisum" versions I've seen aren't at all hateful, though the wording of some of them could be greatly improved.) The song could also have been sung at the funeral home during the viewing, which could have been very nice and not a liturgical problem at all.

This is not a new "problem", btw. Since Ireland was without priests so much, there were a lot of lay singing at their priestless funerals. So people tried to do it the old way when they came to the US, and this sometimes made priests and parish musicians very unhappy. Some of the songs that were essentials back in the old village were not at all liked in this country. Sometimes for heap good reasons, too. But there's a difference between being committed to finding something acceptable to Church teaching as well as to all parties involved, and just lowering the boom.

But you also see in this, the weird "everything must be at Mass or it is nothing" focus that we have in the US. Even the guy posting, who hired a bagpiper for the graveyard, didn't initially think to say, "Hey, can we have a bagpiper play the song outside, or before Mass?" The music/funeral person obviously didn't offer that as a choice, either. Why not? Sure, it's extra work, but not that much extra work. If Father really really hates the song thanks to overexposure (plenty of Celtic musicians right after St. Patrick's Day hate it too), just warn Father to keep out of earshot until X pre-Mass moment.

The other thing is that, obviously, if you use secular music outside the service, you want to preserve decorum and keep it tasteful. But it's a lot easier to do that outside of Mass, or outside of church, or in the back of church outside the nave (if it's too cold to do outside music). This shouldn't be treated as the secular music being "banned" or "exiled" or spat upon. It should just be treated as if, "This is a good place for you to do it, because you won't have to worry about doing all the church stuff here." This would also mean proper planning and setup for things like electrical cords and microphones, if people need them (especially since you don't want to trip coffinbearers or mourners) and quick removal of all that impedimenta. All that would show respect and mollify people. Then they would be in much more a mood to listen to sacred music without prejudice.

Also, you won't lose control of everything altogether, and have people playing some crazy Tin Pan Alley song like "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling" when the priest is trying to commit the body to the grave. Which apparently is what happened.

Danny O puerum tibiis fistulas vocant
De valle moretur in valle moretur et partem de monte
Aestas's abiit, flores omnium morientium
Ista tibi libet eundum est et sedes.
Sed ite æstivæ tergum in pratis
Aut ubi conticuere Vallis et scriptor nive candidum
Ista ego hic aut in sole umbra
Danny O puer o Danny puer ita te amo.

Si vos vere ac cum omnibus floribus moriuntur
Ego vero, ut ego bene mortuus sit
You'll reperio venit ubi fallo
Et dixit quod flectebat Ave ibi me.

Et ego exaudiam, quamvis mollis quam me calcas
Et mea prosint somnia sit calidus et dulciora
Si nec inanis eris mihi dicere, quod amas
Ego tantum quiescat donec ad me.

Ego tantum quiescat donec ad me.

Apparently, the Roman bagpipe was called "tibia utricularis" (wineskin flute/pipe). The Roman Greek name for it was "askaulos".

(I am sorry to say that Nero played it, allegedly to avoid puffing out his cheeks before the public and thus ruining his good looks. But mostly it was an instrument for long religious processions and ceremonies, or for the Legions on the march and in battle.)

Yes, by all means get rid of Jesus. He would certainly want nothing to do with comforting the afflicted.

A good friend has posted me privately, which I appreciate, wondering if I realize that my "black and white" approach represents how I think and act personally, and I can say that it doesn't. I understand that pastoral concerns and Rich came through for the family and the priest in a parish where there are not strict guidelines in place.

This really takes me back to the Vatican rules on singing at Mass for guest choirs. If it is important enough for choirs singing at a Mass where the Pope may be present to be restricted to certain styles of music, then since we and the Pope are equally overshadowed by the presence of Christ in the church, why are all parishes not falling into line?

Here is the post I put up there:

Dear seeker of truth

Your description of planning your father's funeral music is almost a universal experience.

Quite sadly, almost all Catholics think that the funeral Mass is supposed to be about what they or their loved ones like or prefer. Quite honestly, it is not. It is about the soul that God has claimed for Himself.

Let's try this another way. Suppose the president of the United States invited you to dinner. He goes through all the trouble of cooking you a feast, hiring a band, and creating the right ambiance... all apropo to your date with the White House. After receiving your invitation from the President, you call him up (or his staff) and you tell them that you have picked out the music YOU want for your big day. Word goes to he who is up on high.

Do you think you would ever consider doing this? Do you think the president is going to be happy with you? Do you think he will switch the music so you can have Guns n Roses instead of his military band playing Sousa? Of course not!

But you and most people expect to do this with God himself at the throne of The Sacrifice of His Holy Mass. Think again!