When criticisms come . . . what is our response?
  • RagueneauRagueneau
    Posts: 2,592
    Friends, it seems that everyone is allowed to comment on our efforts as Church musicians. No matter how hard we try . . . no matter how hard our singers try, in America, everyone is allowed to comment freely about this or that aspect that, in their view, "could have been better." No matter what experience or knowledge a person has (or lacks), all are allowed to freely tear down and berate our efforts to praise God. Even our friends and family feel compelled to critique our efforts. "The Offertory was off . . . ." Or, "What was wrong with your soprano section?" And, as you know, we are not allowed to respond, "Perhaps if you knew a bit more about music, you would better understand what we're trying to do . . . ."

    In the face of such criticism, the words often uttered by one of the great Church musicians of the century cannot be doubted. This musician often reminded his pupils, "The life of a Church musician is a life of sacrifice."

    Sometimes, the criticism becomes almost too much to bear.

    In those moments, I like to think of St. Noël Chabanel:

    Father Paul Ragueneau, Superior of Sainte Marie, perceived the struggle Chabanel was undergoing within him. He alludes to the physical conditions which were breeding the young Jesuit's aversion, then turns the light into the soul of Chabanel: "When, in addition, God withdraws His visible graces and remains hidden, although a person sighs for Him alone, and when He leaves the soul a prey to sadness, disgust, and natural aversions—these are the trials which are greater than ordinary virtue can bear. The love of God has to be strong in the heart not to be snuffed out under such circumstances. Add to this the danger, present at every moment of the day, of being attacked by a savage enemy armed with fire and flames and unheard-of torments, who would more often force you to suffer a thousand deaths before you met death itself. One certainly had to have the strength of the sons of God not to lose courage in the midst of such desolation."


    I also like to think of Pope Benedict XVI.

    As you know, Pope Benedict DID NOT want to become Pope. He was hoping to retire, and enjoy a peaceful time where he could sit back, pray, and write.

    As you also know, Pope Benedict is constantly (and unjustly) criticized by evil and/or misguided people. How many of us have seen blogs where the Holy Father is openly attacked and criticized, 100% unjustly? How many ignorant people feel the need to insult His Holiness, and act as if they know more than he does, and could do a better job if they were the Pope?

    Does this stop the Holy Father from continuing to serve God? Do these ignorant criticisms and mean-spirited attacks against His Holiness keep him from doing what's right?

    I've noticed that he does not pay attention to these things. He just keeps on going: serving God every day, adoring the Blessed Trinity, praising Jesus Christ, being attentive to the Holy Spirit, admonishing those who persist in sin, and praying for the souls in Purgatory. In other words, he just keeps on doing what is RIGHT. He does not become upset by the unjust attacks hurled against him. He does not let those things keep him from serving God.

    I feel that we should imitate Pope Benedict XVI.
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 11,978
    I think criticism is just part of the business, and you have to learn to live with it. My musicians don't achieve perfection every week, and neither do I. Sometimes the critics are just being truthful. Other times, not. There are also many with political agendas in church music, unfortunately. If anyone who is thin-skinned goes into music, they are in the wrong field.
  • Since so many on this list are volunteers, it's obvious that this is not a business. Benedict XVI could have been a major corporate executive, but he chose the Catholic church. And it's not a business.

    Criticism is essential in keeping you and your program grounded. If you are not being criticized, you are not doing your job. Understanding that criticism is a reaction rather than a personal attack, (unless it's an ex-wife, for example) hearing it and evaluating it will make your program stronger.

    It is important to confront those that criticize you and thank them and get them talking about what concerns them. Doing this will in most cases turn them around and into great supporters. Most criticism is a result of fear of change, putting a face on it all by talking with them can really help these people.

    Talking over the source of criticism with senior staff members is helpful. Talking about it to those under you isn't.

    I recall getting hate mail from one person and when I talked this over with senior staff members, and the response was, "Oh, he's the one that __________." Insert your favorite felony there. His pastor at the time was able to talk those involved into dropping the charges and he remains a very unhappy person. Discussing criticism before reacting with senior staff members can give you insight in dealing with people.

    At one point, I told the pastor that I always offered to quit rather than drive them away from their own parish. "Don't say that." was his response, "Just do what I do and tell them to go to All Saints."

    Charles' approach works for some people, though I prefer Benedict's. Just keep on working, not letting unjust attacks bother you.
  • Adam WoodAdam Wood
    Posts: 6,480
    This is more for suggestions ("Can we do Our God is an Awesome God" for the Gospel acclamation?") than for criticisms.

    My standard response:
    "Hmmm. Interesting idea. I'll take that under advisement and speak with the Pastor about it."
  • I'd be inclined to respond in a factual way, acknowledging criticism when accurate. "Yes, the sopranos' pitch was not good today; it was better in rehearsal." Or "GIRM says we can't do that." Or whatever. In other words, strip the data from the criticism and embrace it, and leave the negative energy with the speaker.
  • CharlesW
    Posts: 11,978
    There are levels of criticism, with some carrying more authority than others. While I will listen to criticism, the only person I really have to keep happy is the one who signs my check - the pastor. If anyone objects to a policy or practice, I tell them to see the pastor, since he approves them in advance.
  • don roy
    Posts: 306
    i have a friend who, upon hearing a critique suggestion or criticism from a parishoner will get a totally insane look on his face and scream out "you have GOT to be kidding!!!!!" then walk away.

    works every time
  • G
    Posts: 1,400
    I pretended not to know what a parishioner meant when she demanded of me, "Why don't we sing On Angles Wings anymore?!??!?"
    Ooooh, sorry, I don't know that song, it's not in our hymnal....

    And the fact is, though i don't care for it, when it was appropriate, when it was a good match for the proper, I DID program Eagles Wings, (not to mention when it was constantly requested at funerals.)

    But my predecessor followed a Top 40 format so instead of at most twice a year, it, and St Francis Prayer and Here I Am came up minimally a dozen times.

    My successor, programs similarly, so everyone is happy now....

    (Save the Liturgy, Save the World)
  • chonakchonak
    Posts: 9,215
    scream out "you have GOT to be kidding!!!!!"

    Thank you, Don. I'll save that for future (someday) use.

    [PS: A couple of days later, I have recognized Don's quote as a reference to John McEnroe. D'oh.]
  • matthewjmatthewj
    Posts: 2,700
    It helps if you know the profession of the person in question...

    Person A (successful lawyer): "You know, I wish we'd do more uplifting and fun music."
    Music Director: "You know, I wish when someone came to you with a serious case that you'd play with puppets to cheer the accused up."

    Person B (Acclaimed Chef): "You know, man, I wish we'd just not have music at Mass. It'd be done quicker."
    Music Director: "I wish you'd just stop spending time seasoning things at your restaurant. Salting and peppering make me wait longer for dinner."

    Person C (Lawn Mower Guy): "Man, the organ was really way too loud today."
    Music Director: "Did it wake you from your nap? Your lawn mower was really loud when it woke me up yesterday."

    Person D (Zoo Keeper): "Can't we sing Awesome God? They sing it at Parish Y"
    Music Director: "Can't you just let the bears out of their cages? They let the dinosaurs out in Jurassic Park."