PBEH: new text for finlandia
  • francis
    Posts: 10,701
    Was looking at finlandia today and adapted some of the original words and composed a new second verse for the hymnal.

    _________________

    Jesus, the Way, none other will I follow.
    He is the Truth, and he has set me free.
    He is the Life, and hope of my tomorrow.
    Jesus the Christ, the one who died for me.
    This is our faith, that 'mid Earth's sin and sorrow,
    Brings perfect joy to all who will believe.

    There is no god on earth or in the heaven,
    To which the likes of Jesus can compare.
    He is the Way, the Truth and Life forever,
    And it is He that one day leads us there.
    Turn now to Him, all you who wander aimless,
    And find your home in Him who truly cares.

    Text : copyright 2009 Francis Koerber. All rights reserved.
  • IanWIanW
    Posts: 756
    Thanks for this, Francis. Some preliminary suggestions:

    - Consider removing unnecessary commas from the middle of lines, to encourage people to sing through, e.g. stanza 1 lines 1 and 2.
    - Alternatively, in the case of stanza 1 line 2, you might substitute "the" for "and".
    - Stanza 2 line 1, "heavens" for "heaven"?
    - The first two lines of stanza 2 distracted me with thoughts about the Trinity. I'm not saying they're anti-Trinitarian, just that they had me scratching my head.
    - "To which the likes of Jesus can compare" implies that Jesus is not unique.
  • rob
    Posts: 148
    Funny, I was just working on this (there must be something about the tune/present text which invites these exercises);

    1. He is the Vine and we are but the branches.
    He is the Vine and in Him we do thrive.
    Cut from the Vine, we wither and are nothing.
    He keeps us, humble stems and leaves, alive.
    O may God’s grace and mercy graft my own soul,
    The branch, to Christ the Vine and make me whole.

    2. He is the Vine and still yet, too, the Master
    Tending His vineyard: burning off the waste,
    Moist’ning the dry; lifting poor, weak, and fallen;
    Curing the rot, and training errant shoot,
    Pruning the growth, plucking the ripe fruit gently --
    Grapes for His vintage -- sweet for Heaven’s taste.

    3. He is the Vine and still yet, too, the True Light,
    Towards whom His faithful branches hope to grow,
    To bear great fruit: To know, to love, to serve Him
    In this our world and ever in the next.
    Glory to God: To Father, Son, and Spirit;
    First, Now, and Always, and Forevermore.
  • francis
    Posts: 10,701
    Ian:

    I was able to incorporate all your points (good ideas) except the second one which I did not quite understand. Can you clarify?

    Jesus the Way none other will I follow.
    He is the Truth for he has set me free.
    He is the Life, and hope of my tomorrow.
    Jesus the Christ, the one who died for me.
    This is our faith, that 'mid Earth's sin and sorrow,
    Brings perfect joy to all who will believe.

    There is no god on earth or in the heavens,
    He is the Lord to whom none can compare.
    He is the Way, the Truth and Life forever,
    And it is He that one day leads us there.
    Turn now to Him, all you who wander aimless,
    And find your home in Him who truly cares.

    Text : copyright 2009 Francis Koerber. All rights reserved.
  • francis
    Posts: 10,701
    Rob:

    I see what you are saying. I wonder if we should attempt to merge the verses? I like the third verse the best.
  • rob
    Posts: 148
    Francis:

    Thanks for the encouragement, the third is my favorite as well. It's where I'd really hoped to arrive when I first set out. I like the idea of a merger and shall try it.

    Rob
  • IanWIanW
    Posts: 756
    Francis,

    The fault is mine for not proof-reading. I meant Stanza 1, Line 3, which might be changed to read "He is the Life, the hope of my tomorrow", in order to avoid another "and". In addition, you could substitute a comma for the period at the end of the line, so that lines 3 and 4 would read:

    He is the Life, the hope of my tomorrow,
    Jesus the Christ, the One who died for me.


    Now I'm going to prood-read this comment.
  • Has anyone used "At That First Eucharist" or "O Lord who at thy Eucharist" with Finlandia before? The meter fits and I feel like it works pretty well. I love the tune and would love to have some good texts to go with it! Here is a copy of what I mentioned.
  • francis
    Posts: 10,701
    Adam:

    Thanks for sending us that text. IMHO, I truly think it is almost required that the syllables match the tune, however. Especially because the 11 syllable lines sport an ascending 3rd as its final interval which begs for individual syllables. Don't you think?
  • Francis,

    I see what you're saying. I just imitated the meter that I had seen used with Finlandia before in "Be Still My Soul" and "Praise Ye the Lord" which use the 10 10 10 10 10 10 meter. Here's the first verse of "Be Still My Soul" which slurs the mentioned minor third:

    Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
    Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
    Leave to thy God to order and provide;
    In every change, He faithful will remain.
    Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
    Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.