What to do about this upsetting situation?

TLMlover

Good morning,

I have an upsetting situation at my parish: The are two NO priests assigned to our tiny parish (one is a supply priest who also has duties in the rest of the Deanery, the other is our Pastor, whom we "share" on infrequent Sundays, with another parish 45 minutes away. His main flock is the other parish, although he does have yearly meetings with us and can usually be reached by text message.

At times, both of these priests, especially the supply priest, seem confused about how to celebrate special Masses, such as Holy Week Masses and funeral Masses.

For example, during the transfer of the Blessed Sacrament on Holy Thursday, the priest did not incense the Blessed Sacrament at the Altar of Repose, nor did he kneel in prayer. He left quickly after placing the ciborium in the tabernacle of respose. I was so taken aback that I didn't know what to do, so I just knelt and sang verse 5&6 of Pange Lingua, without the priest there and everybody else just standing around totally confused. What to do?

On Easter II, I asked Father before Mass if he would be doing the sprinkling rite. He said "No, it's not Easter Sunday." What to do? (This one is easier because it's optional, but still, he didn't know it was an option??)

Discussing music with one of the priests before a funeral, when I mentioned the Song of Farewell, he said no, just a closing hymn. What to do?

Am I being overly picky? I usually just say "ok" to whatever the priest tells me, but certain things bother me immensely, like Holy Thursday. I thought about that for days. Am I wrong?

Do any of you ever (gently) point things out to the Priest, which they may have forgotten or of which they might be unaware?

Thanks in advance for all advice!

MatthewRoth

You need either a new job or the pastor needs to lay down the law.

TLMlover

Matthew, unfortunately, sometimes the Pastor seems to be confused by the rubrics also.

Chant_Supremacist

I've never heard of the Song of Farewell.

Is there a head altar server? Might be a good person to first broach concerns with. My parish is blessed with several adult male altar servers who are assiduous and have a good rapport with the priest.

I have definitely pointed out some of my priest's liturgical mistakes to him. It has never gone badly, but I don't do it often, and he's aware that I'm critical of myself first. We've both been in the game long enough to know that mistakes happen constantly and usually are not all that important, just a matter of noting it and trying to fix it next time around.

TLMlover

Thank you, ChantS, we have only one altar server, who sometimes does not know the rubrics either. So I guess I'll just stay quiet about most of the errors, but if there is a particularly concerning one, I'll gently voice my concerns with the priest and maybe make available a copy of the GIRM for him to reference.

The Song of Farewell (maybe known as Saints of God) occurs in the N.O. funeral rite after the words "Let us take leave of our brother (sister)," after which we pray the Saints to come to the aid of the deceased, and the Angels to lead him (her) to Abraham's side.

It's not In Paradisum - which is usually the recessional after the words "Let us take our brother (sister) to his place of rest." However, I've seen In Paradisum done many times even when the burial is not to take place after the funeral.

Regarding the Song of Farewell, it is technically a prayer, but I have only heard it recited by a priest once. Usually it's sung in responsorial form (Proulx's Saints of God), or just as a hymn (usually the Old Hundredth tune), but at one funeral I was forced to play it to OH DANNY BOY. Yup. Apparently it's called the Celtic Song of Farewell, and has been banned in several Dioceses. Sigh.

Have a good day!

smvanroode

As MC at our cathedral, I know that it is important to prepare special celebrations, especially those of Holy Week and the Easter Triduum, well in advance with all involved (the priest, deacon, alter servers, music ministers, lectors, etc.). Even then, mistakes just happen. Be charitable towards each other, and make sure that next time, you have discussed issues like these in advance.

Make explicit references to the relevant rubrics and just make a sound and specific proposal: ‘The missal offers an option to use the spinkling rite. Because [x], I think it’s good to make use of it this Sunday. Do you mind we do this with song [y]?’; ‘When you arrive at the Altar of Repose, we will sing the Tatum ergo while you incense the Blessed Sacrament.’

Just offer him worked out options, and be prepared to have a suitable backup plan in case he rejects your proposal.

TLMlover

Thank you smvanroode, that is excellent advice.

MatthewRoth

Yeah.

Like you need the pastor to sign off on a funeral policy that has the specific places for music and you can prepare a second internal document to whip out if the supply priest whines.

I also think that frankly your pastor needs to meet more with you and show up more often.

You also need to have a meeting where you say something about this (while finding a new job in music or otherwise). The Holy Week thing makes Jesuits look bad!

They moved the Subvenite to this part. I don’t think that, so long as there is a body, In Paradisum is wrong on the way out the door, no matter whether it’s TLM or NO. It’s attached to the funeral Mass, not the burial (as they are not the same despite the name of the Mass in the traditional missal).

TLMlover

Matthew,

YES
YES
YES
and YES

Thank you!

CGM

The place near the end of the funeral containing

— a prayer over the body,
— the incensing of the body, and
— the singing of the "Song of Farewell" or the "Subvenite" chant

taken altogether is often referred to as the Final Commendation.

(A small piece of terminology which might help clarify the portion of the funeral you're talking about, if you have a discussion with one of your priests.)

Abbysmum

I'm a little bit confused by this conversation! Are there just not rubrics that can be followed (and insisted upon)?

And thank you, CGM, for clarifying it's Final Commendation they are talking about. I was thinking that's what it was (I'm in Canada, so I wasn't sure if our terminology was different). The most commonly sung one in this neck of the woods in the refrain of Songs of the Angels by Bob Dufford, which seems to be loosely based on In Paradisum, but I have also done In Paradisum.

davido

You need to take a look at the priest’s book for celebrating funerals. In the USA it is called The Order of Christian Funerals. Copy the relevant pages and study them, so you know what the recommended texts are and what the legitimate options are. Then you will be able to speak intelligently with the priests on this issue. (Probably more intelligently than the priests…)

TLMlover

CGM, yes. Thank you, I know most of the words of the funeral rite more or less by heart but failed to use the correct terminology. Thank you for reminding me!

Abbysmum, right? I've worked with many, many priests over the years and found that some do not know the rubrics and some want to change or ignore the rubrics. I pray daily for all our priests.

Davido, thank you, yes, I have reviewed The Order of Christian Funerals many times. Please see my reply to Abbysmum about rubrics. In our diocese (on the website, even!) it says in no uncertain terms that the pall is not placed over the urn of cremains. I sent Father a (nice, gentle, friendly) text before the last funeral with a link to the info on the diocesan website, because he is new to our diocese. He placed the pall over the urn of cremains anyway.

To quote the last truly traditional priest I had the pleasure of working with, "That's not a hill I'm willing to die on." Sigh.

Thank you all. Being able even to just express that these types of things are on my mind, truly helps me a lot! And I feel less alone, knowing that others encounter similar problems.

Abbysmum

I've worked with many, many priests over the years and found that some do not know the rubrics and some want to change or ignore the rubrics. I pray daily for all our priests.

I hear ya. We are blessed currently with 2 priests who follow the rubrics, more or less. But we've definitely had some in the past that don't, to the point that we had to verify that our youngest daughter's baptism was even valid (it was, thankfully, as far as we know). Let me tell you, THAT is an awful feeling.

To quote the last truly traditional priest I had the pleasure of working with, "That's not a hill I'm willing to die on." Sigh.

True. It's hard to discern sometimes which hills are the ones to die on.

francis

Whatever Hill you die on don’t die without being baptized!

monasteryliturgist

Our Monastery has a similar situation with different priests... it might be different in a parish setting, but what I find is most helpful is having a meeting with the priest a few days in advance of a special mass- so we can go through the rubrics together. That way, it doesnt feel to the priest like you are trying to teach him, but rather, that the two of you are going through the liturgy together- remembering together what needs to be done.

I like wise print a cheat sheet for the priest with clear instructions on whats happening, what he needs to do etc and put it by the missal and the lectionary for him to use. Sometimes they really just dont know.

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